Every year, Valentine’s Day is during Black History Month; the two are not necessarily related but I do see a connection: love. This is not a sentimental love focused on heart candies with sweet messages (wonderful as they are). In the context of Black history, which is a human history, the love I am thinking of comes from those human beings who endured the fiery brutality of slavery because of the color of their skin — those who came through the blood of the slaughtered, weary years and silent tears. Theirs is a tireless love to live.
I’m thinking of their love because love endures and I’m here because of their trail of tears that form a pillow of love I rest on. Their love left us a lasting legacy in word and song: “Above My Head, I Hear Music in the Air;” “There is A Balm in Gilead;” "Oh, Freedom;” “Wade in the Water.” These lasting love songs of faith, hope and endurance speak to a nature of love that we may not often consider.
To love in a hateful context — as was theirs — is a form of resistance to hate. Take for example the sermonic scene in the clearing of the woods in Toni Morrison’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel “Beloved” — a fictional narrative account of a former slave’s memories of post-Civil War Ohio. In this scene, there is an “unchurched preacher” named Baby Suggs Holy, who preaches from her “heart” to her fellow enslaved despite having “busted her legs, back, head, eyes, hands, kidneys, womb and tongue” through the furnace of slavery.
Listen to her sermonic love song:
“‘In this here place, we flesh; flesh that weeps, laughs; flesh that dances on bare feet in grass. Love it … Yonder they do not love your flesh…. Love your hands! Raise them up and kiss them… You got to love it …! … Flesh that needs to be loved. Feet that need to rest and to dance; backs that need support; shoulders that need arms, strong arms I’m telling you … love your neck; put a hand on it, grace it, stroke it and hold it up. And all your inside parts … you got to love them. The dark, dark live r— love it … and the beat and beating heart, love that too.’”
To love one’s flesh, one’s body when others want to destroy it is a practice of resistance — resistance to demonization and ultimate destruction.
It resists that which seeks to hate or destroy or judge. Love isn’t a judge but rather the joy of life. It resists death because its breath is life, which is why ancient wisdom tells us that it is stronger than death. Love seeks to live and breathe and allow others to live. So, when you love another or yourself, you are saying, “I want you to live” through your actions. You are saying, “Even if I must die, I will love because I believe in life.”
Love is a practice, an action — not just a mood or feeling. It is something you do, you show, you incarnate, over and over again if it is genuine. You sing it. You speak it. You enact and practice it in some way. It is not mere thought or philosophy. It is embodied through head, heart and hands.
Even the children’s character Barney the Dinosaur — from the children’s television show “Barney & Friends” that my children used to watch — knew this based on his theme song:
“I love you
You love me
We’re a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too?”
Even for Barney, love is action. In his case, it includes hugs and kisses. Love is something that is done.
Roses or chocolates may be fine as gifts for Valentine’s Day this week, but a real gift you can give someone or yourself is to show through action that, “I want you to live.” With all the specters of death in the world and in our city, to love may be the best gift you can give this year.
Do it for our human ancestors. Do it for the world. Do it for life — your life and everyone else’s.
The Rev. Dr. Luke A. Powery is Dean of Duke University Chapel. His column runs on alternate Mondays.
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FAQs
Born into slavery in 1817 or 1818, Frederick Douglass went on to become one of the most prominently abolitionist leaders of his time. While there is no record of his birth, Douglass chose to celebrate his birthday on 14th February every year as he remembered his mother calling him her 'little Valentine' as a child.
What is the history of Black Love Day? ›
On Feb. 13, 1993, Ayo Handy-Kendi, a community organizer and native of Washington, D.C., created the holiday to celebrate communal love and pride in being “unapologetically Black.” While Feb. 13 is not a federal holiday, a deeply meaningful celebration rooted in the Black community exists: Black Love Day.
What is the difference between Valentine's Day and Black Day? ›
As the chocolates received on Valentine's Day are interpreted to symbolize a man's popularity and the chocolates given on White Day are used solely for romantic purposes, Black Day focuses on the people, especially singles, who did not receive any gifts on either of the holidays.
Why is February dedicated to Black History Month? ›
Woodson chose February for reasons of tradition and reform. It is commonly said that Woodson selected February to encompass the birthdays of two great Americans who played a prominent role in shaping black history, namely Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass, whose birthdays are the 12th and the 14th, respectively.
What does black mean on Valentines day? ›
6. Black: Healing from a Rejected Proposal. Black might be a favourite of many, but on Valentine's Day, it symbolizes rejection. You just got your heart broken because of a rejected proposal.
Who started Black Love Day? ›
Black Love Day was created in 1993 by Ayo Handy-Kendi, popularly known as 'Mama Ayo,' an author, breathologist, and founder of the African American Holiday Association (AAHA).
What does "black love" mean? ›
“Black love encompasses romantic partnerships, familial bonds, friendships, and a collective commitment to uplifting and empowering each other. By nurturing and celebrating Black Love, we affirm the inherent value and dignity of Black lives, creating spaces of healing, growth, and empowerment for generations to come.”
What are the 5 tenets of Black Love Day? ›
Established in 1993 by Ayo Handy Kendi, Black Love Day's mission is to preserve the legacy, culture, and tradition within our community. The five tenets are – love toward the Creator, love for self, love for the family, love within the Black community, and love for Black people.
How do you celebrate black love? ›
Celebrate with personal love rituals, couple love-ins or community relationship ceremonies. Buy conscious love gifts from Black merchants to recycle Black dollars to love our communities. Read to learn, grow, and sustain love's healing power.
Why is Valentine's day about love? ›
This Saint Valentine wore a ring with a Cupid on it—a symbol of love—that helped soldiers recognize him. And, in a precursor to greeting cards, he handed out paper hearts to remind Christians of their love for God. Because of this legend, Saint Valentine became known as the patron saint of love.
On February 14, 2019, India witnessed one of the deadliest terror attacks in its history, as a suicide bomber affiliated with Jaish-e-Mohammed (JeM) targeted a convoy of Central Reserve Police Force (CRPF) personnel in Pulwama, Jammu and Kashmir.
What does the Bible say about Valentine's day? ›
1 John 4:7-12. Dear friends: let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
What happened on February in Black history? ›
February 1, 1865 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln signs the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution. The Thirteenth Amendment outlawed slavery in the United States. February 1 is known as National Freedom Day in its honor. February 3, 1870 The Fifteenth Amendment to the Constitution is ratified.
Who said February is Black History Month? ›
Carter G. Woodson was a scholar whose dedication to celebrating the historic contributions of Black people led to the establishment of Black History Month, marked every February since 1976.
What is the 2024 Black History Month theme? ›
The national theme for Black History Month 2024 is “African Americans and the Arts.” Black History Month 2024 is a time to recognize and highlight the achievements of Black artists and creators, and the role they played in U.S. history and in shaping our country today.
What happened on February 14th in black history? ›
Frederick Douglass' birthday on February 14 has been a longstanding traditional day of celebration by Black communities, which also influenced the timing of Black History Month. Born into slavery in 1818, Douglass escaped his enslavement and dedicated his life to fighting for justice and equality.
What is the origin of the Valentine's day Massacre? ›
Al Capone, who was at his Florida home at the time, was widely assumed to have been responsible for ordering the massacre. The impetus for the plan may have been the North Side Gang's hijacking of some expensive whisky being illegally smuggled by Capone's gang from Canada across the Detroit River.
Is Feb Black History? ›
“February is Black History Month.” Since the 1970s that familiar declaration has introduced countless celebrations of African American history and achievement, from Black History Minutes on local television stations to the pronouncements of U.S. presidents.
