Quantum Entanglement: Howzer and Aurelia - freesia_writes (2024)

Chapter 1: Growing Pains

Chapter Text

22 BBY - Coruscant

Neon lights of every color illuminated the inside of 79s, bathing its wide variety of occupants in a vibrant wash of hues. The place was filled with raucous laughter, loud conversations, and the constantthump thumpof the bass from the speakers. The music gave it a boisterous feeling, further contributing to the overall atmosphere of letting go and blowing off some steam. Clones in all states of attire were there, as well as a colorful variety of other characters and species.

"You couldn't handle this even if you did want to!" a clone called out as a leggy Pantoran stalked out the door. He turned back to the bar, finishing his drink and setting the mug on the counter. Another clone approached from behind, clapping him on the back and dropping onto the stool next to him.

"Another one?" the newcomer quizzed, lifting his eyebrows in fake surprise, "Well son of a Hutt. It just doesn't make any sense, Howzer."

Brushing his tousled hair out of his eyes, Howzer regarded his brother with a spark in his eye and a grin on his face. He shrugged theatrically, heaving a mournful sigh as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders, then motioned to the bartender for another round for both of them.

"Aww, look at the fresh batch of shinies!" came a voice behind them.

Howzer bristled, turning slightly on his stool. A group of four troopers from the 148th were pointing and laughing from a table nearby, clearly inebriated. They continued their taunts.

"Pursue your dreams, boys," one said in a mockingly inspirational tone. "There's a whole wide world out there, full of possibilities."

"The whole war is just waiting foryouto be the hero to end it all!"

"Look at those soft little faces! Fresh outta the tube. Just precious."

His jaw set in a rigid line, and Howzer stiffened. Noticing the sudden change in composure, his friend placed a gentle yet firm hand on his forearm.

"Ignore em. You know it's just how it goes."

"I know, Sprint, but it drives me nuts. They see a few battles and then they can say whatever they want? They have no idea what I'm capable of. Why should I just sit here and take it?" Howzer said, not breaking eye contact from the four at the table.

"Because what else are you going to do, fight them?" Sprint answered, shaking his head as if brushing the idea aside. He turned back to the bar, welcoming the arrival of two glass mugs with open arms. "Come on, the drinks are here."

Howzer turned back slightly, taking a long swig from his mug before putting it on the counter and wiping the froth from his lips. He felt a burning indignation as he heard their continued laughter above the rest of the din of the bar. Finally, he could take it no longer. Grabbing the mug handle and rising to his feet in one swift motion, he sauntered over to their table, towering over them in a wide stance.

"Maybe you rust buckets could use a little reminder of what's behind these soft little faces," he growled, finishing his drink in one last long swallow and slamming the empty glass down on the table, leaving his hand wrapped around the handle.

"Oh look! The shiny wants to test out his wings," said one of the troopers, regarding him with a thoroughly amused air.

"I think he's just had a bit too much tonight," Sprint said, approaching from behind with his hands up in a diplomatic gesture. "Sorry, fellas. He doesn't get out much." He put a hand on Howzer's back, silently inviting him to take the opportunity to extricate himself before the situation escalated any further.

"Well of course! We all know little boys can't hold their liquor anyway," another trooper jeered, leaning forward to stand up. Before he made it upright, though, Howzer swung the empty glass mug with full force into his gut, and the air whooshed out of him as he doubled over. The other three were on their feet instantly, staring at him in shock for a moment. He flung the mug at the nearest one, then leapt to tackle the clone on his other side. They both hit the ground in a flailing pile.

Sprint sighed, but had no further time to mourn Howzer's choices as a fist came flying at his face. He ducked under it and rushed the clone, knocking him onto the table. Another one grabbed Sprint from behind, pulling him backward, but falling to the ground as his legs were suddenly kicked out from under him by Howzer.

Three minutes, one black eye, two broken teeth, and six bruised egos later, the fight was broken up by some officers who were getting tired of the disruption. They were unceremoniously thrown out, nursing their wounds and their pride. Sprint followed Howzer down the street, rubbing the back of his neck where it had hit the edge of a table.

"Now who would have seen that coming..." Sprint began.

"Don't start," Howzer interrupted, wiping the blood from his cheekbone where it had been split open. "They won't be giving me that garbage when I'm a Captain."

"I don't think being a Captain is all you've cracked it up to be," Sprint replied calmly, "But sure."

"You didn't have to get caught up in that," Howzer said, stopping to allow Sprint to catch up to him so they could walk together. "Sorry about your neck."

"I don't think I had much choice, but either way, I've got your back," Sprint assured him, as they trudged back to their quarters.

***

For your viewing pleasure... baby Howzer.
(He probably wouldn't have his teal armor and pauldron yet but just for a visual of his face)

Chapter 2: Disillusionment

Chapter Text

"Look sharp," Hex whispered, and Howzer stood up a bit straighter as Orn Free Taa exited the Senate chamber. Without a word, they both fell into step beside him, escorting him through the hallway. They marched smartly, DC-17s in hand, and it took all of Howzer's self-control to avoid staring at Taa's many quivering chins as he talked about his afternoon plans.

Once they arrived at the restaurant, they were dismissed to wait outside, and Howzer slumped against the building unceremoniously, groaning inwardly at his lot in life. Hex remained standing at attention next to him, and the judgment emanating from him was palpable.

"Why doesn't he have his own Twi'lek guards?" Howzer complained, pulling his helmet off. His hair had grown out a little from the standard military cut they received on Kamino, and it fell to his ears, across his forehead, in thick black pieces. He ran a hand through it, looking at Hex and continuing his protest, "Aren't they supposed to be fierce warriors or something? I mean, the ones back on Ryloth at least?"

Hex shifted his weight slightly; it was clearly not the first time he had heard these complaints. "This is our assignment. We are soldiers of the Republic, assigned to do whatever the Republic needs us to do. Would you like to take it up with the Captain?"

"No," Howzer sighed, rolling his head from one shoulder to the other, "I just didn't get the impression that our training would be preparing us to ensure that a Senator can eat all day long." He could have sworn he heard a quick laugh-turned-cough from Hex, but he decided not to push his luck.

A couple of female Twi'leks passed by on the sidewalk in front of them, and Howzer stood tall immediately, tucking his helmet under his arm and running a hand through his hair again.

"Hey, you two! How would you like a job?" he said, in an insufferably cheesy tone. "I'll hire you right here on the spot. Well, one of you. The other one can come to lunch with me."

Hex let out an audible groan then, and the Twi'leks looked at each other with a shared grimace. But Howzer was unfazed, "Now now, don't fight over it. I know it's a lot to take in all at once. Take your time, sort it out between yourselves, and let me know which one of you is the lucky lady who gets to hit the town with me."

At that, they simply turned and continued on their way, gliding down the sidewalk in a cloud of eyerolls and wrinkled noses. Howzer resumed his lean against the wall, sighing in defeat.

"Their loss."

***

Chapter 3: Potential

Chapter Text

Aurelia wiped the cloth across the bar counter mindlessly as she watched an hourglass-shaped BD-3000 luxury droid moving to the beat with a predictable series of motions, fully holding the clone captain's attention as he bopped along next to her. A smile crept onto Aurelia's face, accompanied by the mild fondness she always felt at the clones' behaviors.

She had worked at 79s for a few months, considering it a "place holder" while she figured out a more long-term career plan. She simultaneously had far too many aspirations at once while also feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed by all of them, settling instead to cater to the needs of a rowdy crowd most nights while she daydreamed about the possibilities.

"Whatcha thinkin about, beautiful?" came an exceedingly smooth clone voice, bringing her back to reality, and her eyes snapped into focus to see Pivot leaning on the bar across from her. She smiled, swatting her washcloth at him playfully.

"Just pining for your return, of course," Aurelia responded quickly, flipping the cloth over her shoulder and bending down to prepare his usual drink. He had been coming there long before she started, and he was as comforting as he was harmless. She had initially been put off by what seemed like advances, but when she realized there was nothing behind them other than flattery and fun, she relaxed and played along.

"Well, feast your eyes," Pivot answered, sliding some credits across the counter to her as she poured the drink from the shaker into a highball glass. She plopped a couple bright berries on the top and pushed it toward him.

"Consider them feasted."

Pivot laughed, giving her a playful salute as he scooped up his glass and made his way back to his squad in a corner booth.

***

"I mean, if you think about it, it seems like such a simple solution," Howzer said, gesturing abstractly with one hand. "I can't wait to show them what some real strategy looks like."

"I'm sure they'll be grateful," purred the Mirialan next to him, cupping her face in her hand and resting an elbow on the table, looking up at him with admiration.

"Well, it's what we were made for," he answered, puffing up a bit more. This had been going surprisingly well, and he fought to keep his composure. "So, any other plans tonight?"

She shook her head demurely, muttering something about unpacking some cargo crates.

"I've got a little something you can unpack," Howzer chortled, "If you need some practice."

"Ugh," came the reply, and she quickly excused herself without another word. He leaned back in the booth, allowing a brief sigh before regathering himself and rising to his feet. He ambled to the bar counter, scanning the room for any familiar faces long the way and seeing none. He missed Sprint, who was his usual companion when his romantic pursuits came up empty, and consoled himself by imagining what sort of missions his brother may have been enjoying.

"Can I get you anything?"

Howzer looked up, finding the bartender waiting patiently across from him, wiping a glass as she regarded him with a slightly tilted head. Now this he could work with. He leaned jauntily against the counter, flashing his roguish grin and turning on the charm.

"Listen, I know you probably have a lot of questions, but before we dive in, you can go ahead and take a moment to soak it all in. I'm sure you're wondering how you, of all people, managed to findthebest-looking clone, right here in your own bar."

Aurelia smirked at the blatant irony of his phrase, fully prepared with a tongue-in-cheek response, "'Best-looking clone'? Did they teach you about irony on Kamino?"

"They taught us about everything," Howzer returned evenly, "So if you've got any questions, I'd be happy to let you in on all the mysteries of the galaxy." He raised one eyebrow with a distinctly fiendish air, eyes roving from her curly black hair to her full lips. Her nose was a bit beakish, but she had pretty eyes, dark and intelligent.

"Wow. What an offer," she marveled, pressing the back of a hand to her forehead as if about to faint. This came with the territory, sure, but could also become tiresome. She yearned for any conversation of substance, but was realizing more and more that this was not the atmosphere for that. "In the meantime... Can I get you anything?"

"I'll take a fizz, thanks, but what about you? What are your wildest dreams?" Howzer inquired, eager to continue their exchange.

"To sit under a tree on a cloudy day and read poetry from an actual book," Aurelia answered without missing a beat. She turned to get a bottle from the refrigerator behind her, missing the flash of surprise on Howzer's face. He looked serious for a moment, something working its way through his brain, but was back to his co*cky little show when she turned back around.

"Wow," he bantered, "What refined taste you have. I'll get right on that." He exchanged his credits for the bottle, then offered a hand, "The name's Howzer."

"Aurelia," she responded, shaking his hand and secretly hoping his desire for attention had been satisfied.

"Aurelia," he echoed, trying it on for size, "Fancy name for a fancy lady. Alright, Aurelia. I'll be seeing you. Try to hold it together until we meet again." Howzer popped the cap from the bottle, flipped it toward her like a coin, gave her a wink, and sauntered off.

Chapter 4: Good Intentions

Chapter Text

"I can't believe you get to be out there doing all that, and I'm stuck waddling around after Mister Diplofat here."

Sprint had been filling Howzer in on his latest mission, recounting the details with just enough enthusiasm to make it a thoroughly riveting story and further fueling the simmering desire for some "real action". They walked along the food line, filling their trays with a basic assortment of the options.

"You can find the dignity in any assignment if you choose to," Sprint answered, grabbing a spoon before heading to a table.

"Maybe you can. But once they make me a Captain, it's gonna be a turning point in the war," Howzer insisted.

"Great. I can't wait! Now eat your soup."

***

An impossibly long week of repetitive and seemingly pointless tasks found Howzer back at 79s, accompanied by a few squad mates he had found a conversation with. They were reclined in a booth on the upper level, swapping stories and jokes, when some voices rose above the others downstairs.

"Get back to work, sweetie. Here, take my glass. I could use a refill."

"Did you hear me? I said it's time to go," came a female voice with a sharp edge to it. Howzer peered over the balcony, eyes drawn to a table with a few Weequay pirates huddled over a game of sabacc. A handful of clones were standing around them, arms crossed and brows furrowed, and in the center of the group was Aurelia, pointing toward the door.

One of the pirates stood up, leering at her with just enough impairment to his movements to bely his condition. "We're not done making money off of these chumps!" he said, beckoning toward the clones nearby, who stiffened and appeared to be readying for a fight.

Aurelia sighed, cursing herself inwardly for agreeing to cover a shift by herself. She opened her mouth for one last attempt when a loud clone voice came over her shoulder.

"You're done if she says you're done."

She turned, spotting a familiar clone approaching from the stairs, striding confidently toward the group. She couldn't quite remember his name, but she recognized his messy hair and the way he tried to swagger. Howzer pushed past a couple angry clones to stand beside her, folding his arms over his tensed chest.

"Oh look boys, she's got a little guard dog," the Weequay taunted, turning to poke Howzer in the chest plate, "A nice fresh one all raring to go."

"Come on," a clone beside Howzer said, "Let's not turn this into a big mess. Just call it a night. You've wiped us clean. Take your winnings and go."

"He's got a point," said one of the pirates from the table, rising to his feet to scoop up the variety of credits and cards scattered across it. "Besides, I'm still tired from the last troopers I beat up."

They stood, gathering their things, as Howzer watched sternly. The crowd of clones dissipated, eager to return to their leisure, and the closest Weequay leaned into Aurelia's face, hissing something foul under his breath. She grimaced at the hot blast of stinky air as well as the content of his words.

Smack!Howzer's hand flew out of nowhere, whacking the pirate upside the back of his head. A confused squawk flew from the Weequay's mouth, and one of his cronies was on Howzer in an instant, delivering a tragically accurate sucker punch straight to his gut. He doubled over in pain, quickly followed by terror as his stomach lurched and he felt his dinner come flying back up, out of his mouth, and all over the feet of the pirate in front of him.

A chorus of disgusted sounds rose around him, and the pirates left in revulsion, throwing a litany of insults over their shoulders as they left. Howzer slowly stood back up, hand pressed to his mouth, horrified that one well-placed shot had turned his attempt at courage into a mortifying embarrassment. Aurelia was still next to him, having jumped back a few feet when the pirate charged him, looking at the mess on the floor with a resigned disappointment before turning to fetch a mop from the utility closet.

"Wait, I'll get it," Howzer said, reaching for her elbow. "Or a service droid can?"

"Our droid is perpetually broken. Wait here so no one steps in it," she answered, not looking back. She disappeared around a corner behind the bar, and he stood there for a moment, arms at his sides, ignoring the few judgmental looks from the patrons around him. Aurelia returned with the cleaning supplies, which he promptly took from her arms.

"Please. This was my fault. And it's disgusting," Howzer insisted, and she acquiesced with a mumbled sentence of gratitude. There were a few orders waiting for her at the bar, so she returned to wash her hands and take care of those while he cleaned up the mess.

"I'll put these back," he said, bringing the supplies to the edge of the bar and pausing for a moment, affirmed by Aurelia motioning with her head toward the utility closet. After tucking it all away and washing his hands in the hallway, he slumped on a stool at the very end of the counter. It was getting close to closing time, and the crowd was dwindling. The music was starting to feel like more of an annoyance than anything else, as the desire for sleep began to outweigh the jovial nature of the remaining guests.

A few stragglers were finishing their drinks and conversations, and Aurelia had things mostly tidied up when she noticed Howzer still sitting dejectedly. She was struck by the change in his composure; she had become accustomed to seeing him jaunt around the place, chatting up a variety of females and acting like a general big shot. His friend was noticeably missing tonight, and she felt a sudden intrigue at his complete deflation.

"Thanks for taking care of that earlier," she said, ambling to the end of the bar to chat while she waited for the clock to signal her freedom. "And sorry you got sucker punched."

"That was definitely not how I envisioned that going," he replied, eyes looking up at her from a downcast face.

"Yeah, well... Things often take unexpected turns around here," she offered, studying his face as if it could offer a clue to the name he had shared before giving up. "I'm sorry... What was your name again?"

"Howzer," he muttered, "CT-2420."

"That's right," she said, still mystified by the drastic change in his behavior. She felt oddly moved by it, and it somehow reminded of her older brother when he was disappointed in himself. She glanced at the few remaining patrons, who didn't look close to being done, then back to Howzer. "Don't beat yourself up," she said gently.

"I know. It's just hard to envision my future as a Captain when I can't even handle a few obnoxious spike heads," Howzer answered. "Maybe the cushy life of following politicians around is all I'm suited for after all."

Aurelia smiled, relating to the youthful tendency to overreact to perceived failures. She placed a hand over his, and his head jerked up to look at her, shocked out of his despondency as she spoke, "Sometimes the steps that get us to where we need to be aren't what we think we need. But they can shape and prepare us in unexpected ways."

He regarded her thoughtfully, touched by her compassion and inexplicably drawn in by her dark eyes. "Sounds pretty wise," he mumbled. He was uncharacteristically lost for words; he usually had a whole variety of slick phrases and comebacks, but he felt empty somehow.

"That's why I work here," Aurelia quipped, offering a playful smile in an attempt to encourage him out of his discouraged state. He returned her smile with a small one of his own, and she pulled her hand back from his, checking the time. Thank the Maker, it was finally the end of her shift. She ventured into the room to shoo out the last few stragglers, and Howzer rose to his feet, helmet at his hip, waiting until just the two of them remained. He paused in the doorway, turning his head to Aurelia at a nearby table.

"Hey," he said softly, catching her attention, "Thank you."

***

shouldn't have barfed at the bar, amigo.

Chapter 5: Disarmament

Chapter Text

A couple weeks passed, the days blending together with the usual routines. Howzer begin to make a habit of finishing his evenings at 79s with Aurelia, chatting at the end of the bar after his rounds of boisterous stories and unabashed (and fruitless) flirtations. She discovered that there was more to him than the flashy persona he hid behind, as their conversations began to venture past the shallow realm of the immediate events of their daily lives and into their pasts, their interests, and their thoughts about the world.

Howzer had been an ambitious clone from the start, possessing a notable desire to make an impact above and beyond the expectation of "just another trooper". His accelerated aging had shaped him into a formidable and yet sometimes over-confident soldier who yearned for the glories of command and battle. He had been disappointed when his brother Sprint was assigned to an active unit while he had been relegated to Senator guard duty, and he lived with a seemingly constant need to prove himself.

He wouldn't admit it, of course, but Aurelia noticed it throughout the course of their discussions. She found herself opening up as well, admitting her multi-faceted dreams of the future as well as her inability to determine the next step toward any one of them. They contented themselves in their shared disillusionment, punctuating their flashes of vulnerability with snarky jabs at one another and a variety of attempts at humor.

Howzer suddenly found himself with a few days of leave as Orn Free Taa was off-world and he "apparently wasn't good enough" to be in the traveling guard. Aurelia had told him about a secluded little park that she liked to frequent, and he felt unusually interested in checking it out. It was in a somewhat deserted sector of the planet, a former center of art and creativity that had been left behind in the wartime scramble toward innovation and production. It was now primarily inhabited by elderly citizens who had nowhere else to go and shared a joint sense of duty to maintain the beauty and calm of the area.

The park was an unusual sight on a planet covered with skyscrapers on every usable surface... Since the entire sector had been written off as a useless relic of the past, it had been spared from further development. A synthetic pond lay in the middle of the park, surrounded by grassy knolls and a variety of trees in every shape and size. It felt simultaneously expansive yet cozy, as the bushes provided a wealth of places for one to find solitude and privacy. Even the constantly-humming grid of speeder traffic overhead seemed to fade away, hushed by the canopy of branches that grew together over the entire space.

Howzer walked along a path, replaying a conversation in his head from earlier that day, where Sprint had informed him that he'd been promoted to Captain and was to be stationed on Ryloth in response to increasing Separatist pressure on the planet. Howzer felt happy for his brother but had also been unable to hide his own disappointment at being left behind. His heart burned with ambition, and each passing day felt like another waste of his created purpose.

"You'll be amazing, Sprint," he had said, both earnestly and sadly. "You'll have a whole squad. Think of what you'll be able to do."

"Being a Captain isn't about the power, Howzer. It's about doing the right thing."

Those words still rang in Howzer's ears as he continued along the well-worn path through the park, watching some long-necked birds dipping their heads under the water periodically in search for food. He frowned, ruminating on the seeming futility of his existence, when the silence was broken by a figure suddenly stepping onto the path in front of him.

"This park ain't big enough for the two of us, mister," Aurelia drawled, holding her fingers and thumbs up toward him in a ridiculously cheesy representation of twin blasters. He startled, reaching for his own and leveling it at her before the recognition settled in.

"You're gonna get yourself shot, pulling stunts like that," Howzer warned, returning the blaster to his holster and taking a deep breath to calm his racing pulse. "Unless you're looking for a bit of danger?" he continued, raising an eyebrow and amplifying the persona.

"Come on," she chided, giving his shoulder a light push, "Don't do that stuff with me." She fell into step next to him as they continued walking down the path.

"What stuff?" he asked, with an indignance that she couldn't tell was playful or genuine.

"All the bravado. The flashy big-guy stuff."

"That's just who I am!"

"That'snotwho you are," Aurelia said, stopping suddenly and turning to face him. He paused, meeting her gaze. "You act like it is, and you're so eager to prove yourself. Your time will come. But you don't need to always be so macho about it."

Howzer felt simultaneously hurt and exposed, and turned to keep walking. Aurelia caught up to him in a few steps, lightly touching his arm, "Hey, wait... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean..." she drifted off, uncertain of how to phrase the swirling thoughts. "I don't know... You've got a good heart and a sharp mind, Howzer."

Caught off guard by her sudden sincerity, he slowed his pace a bit, keeping his eyes on the ground in front of him. He turned her words over in his head, realizing that her perception of him, like Sprint's, was different than most anyone else's. But his idea of a Captain was not someone who was soft and vulnerable. It was someone strong, confident, and assertive. Someone who took charge and wasn't afraid of anything.

"Sorry," Aurelia said again, feeling increasingly awkward at the silence and her unbidden assertion.

"It's alright, Aurelia," he replied, "Thanks, I guess?"

"You're welcome... And you can call me Reli," she said sheepishly. "Only my boss calls me by my full name, or my parents when they're angry..."

"Reli," he echoed, smirking suddenly and grinning at her, "That's aRelinice name."

"Wowww," she groaned, though unable to resist a smile, "That isbad. How are you such a playboy with such a terrible sense of humor?"

"Like womp rats to the trash," Howzer bantered, running a hand through his messy hair. "It's hard to fight them all off sometimes, honestly." There he was, back at his old tricks. Aurelia was sure she wasn't going to get through to him in one single conversation, but she was glad the tension had passed.

They continued walking down the winding path, which perused the small park in such a circumnavigational way that it felt like it went on forever. Conversation dwindled, but instead of scrambling for any suitable topic, they both seemed to find comfort in the silence. The space was so different from every other in their lives and neither one wanted to leave. But, as all things do, the path eventually came to an end.

"This is not the kind of place I ever would have imagined myself in," Howzer admitted, stretching his arms behind his back as they paused where the park met the sidewalk. "But it's pretty fantastic. Thanks for telling me about it, and thanks for stalking me all the way here."

"I'll have to bring a mop next time for all the drool as I watch you," Reli countered. Some of her replies were witty, some were cringe-inducing, and some were an ambiguous mix of the two. She shrugged off the unspoken thought as Howzer gave it a quiet chuckle.

"I've got some fun spots of my own, you know," he continued. "So maybe next time I'll impress you with my own corners of the planet."

Reli lifted an eyebrow, keeping her voice steady but feeling a slight quickening in her chest, "There's a next time?"

"If you're lucky."

***

Chapter 6: Exploration

Chapter Text

There was indeed a next time, much to Aurelia's delight. When Howzer asked when her next day off would be, and asked her to meet him, she felt a need to veil her giddiness a bit. She didn't understand how he could be swaggering around 79s like a macho Sy Snootles one minute, then be asking her about the ethics of individualism versus collective responsibility the next, and while she felt a growing infatuation, she also couldn't tell quite what his angle was, and wanted to maintain a bit of caution as much as she could.

"You know, it's not much of a date when you have someone meet you at the place where they work," she teased, strolling up to the corner where the neon sign of 79s lit up the entire block. Night had just fallen, and the sky was still a glowing hue of blue. Howzer was slouched against the wall, helmet by his feet, tousled hair scattered across his forehead.

"Oh, you think this is a date?" Howzer countered, raising both eyebrows innocently.

The disappointment was sudden and shocking in its intensity, but Aurelia kept going, "Okay, then what is it?" She kept her tone light and playful but felt a bit bashful as she had put a little more effort into her appearance than usual, tying her curly hair up in a messy bun with a ribbon and opting for a fitted blue tank top instead of her usual baggy work shirts. She had finished the ensemble with some black pants that were a bit too tight for her liking, and she found herself wondering if she had made a fool of herself.

"It's me winning," Howzer said, "By showing you a place that's even better than your park! Let's go." He turned and headed toward the lines of speeder bikes parked along the side of the building, and she followed in a cloud of confusion and intrigue. Apparently, he hadn't noticed, or had found nothing to comment on, about her appearance. She couldn't decide if she were relieved or insulted as he walked up to a speeder, swinging his leg over it, and patted the seat behind him.

She took a deep breath. She seemed to be a level-headed participant in most all situations, or at least that's what it looked like at her job. But she also preferred solid ground, stable routines, and consistency... Taking off into the morass of Coruscant traffic on the back of a speeder bike was none of those things. The slow, steady rock of the train was a much more welcome thought than what lay before her.

"What, are we a little scaredy-sark?" Howzer asked, leaning on one elbow on the handlebars. "Come on, I'm a pro. Plus, you can just hold on to me real tight." A wink accompanied the last bit, which would have been reason for her to smile but also felt similar to all the hot air he blew at the females at 79s every night, and Aurelia realized she was wildly overthinking it, as usual.

Seeking a witty retort and coming up empty handed, she awkwardly lifted her leg and swung it over the bike seat behind him, finding the pegs with her feet. Howzer pulled his helmet on, put both hands on the bars and flicked the bike on, turning his head over his shoulder, "You gonna hold on or just clench the seat with your buttcheeks?"

Aurelia burst out into laughter at the shock and hilarity of that mental image, and she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her torso against the cold armor plates on his back. She found herself wishing she could feel him without them, but stopped that train of thought before it continued. He turned to face forward and they were off.

The impossible maze of traffic covering the entire planet was enough to make her head spin, and Aurelia had no idea how people weren't crashing into each other all the time. She felt her stomach rising into her throat as she watched over his shoulder, so she opted instead to turn her head sideways, closing her eyes and trying to enjoy the ride.

It wasn't long before he slowed, and she peered ahead again to see what he thought was so great. The night sky had deepened into a rich, velvet navy, peppered with lights of every size and color, both still and moving, and he stopped the bike on the balcony of a round structure at the very top of an impossibly tall skyscraper. It was completely dark and appeared to be abandoned. He hopped off the bike, pulling off his helmet and setting it on the ground before extending a hand to Aurelia, who took it with a little bit of a blush and got on her feet.

"I have so many questions," she began, looking around. The transparisteel panels were dull and cloudy, making it impossible to see what was inside the building. It could have been a fancy restaurant at one time, offering 360 degree views, but it had clearly not been touched in a long time.

"I know, it looks weird from here," Howzer answered, and she noticed with a tiny flip of her stomach that he still hadn't released her hand. "This isn't quite it though; just wait," he said, leading her toward a ladder that ran up one side.

"This isn't high enough for you?" she asked incredulously.

He gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it to start climbing the ladder, calling out over his shoulder, "I'm not a quitter!"

She followed him up to what apparently was the roof -- a round, flat surface covered in various debris. It had a few raised pieces here and there, pipes and fans that serviced what had once been inside. Her eyes roved across it, searching for any hidden gem that might make it an appealing setting, but found none.

"So... how is this better than the park?" she called after Howzer's back, as he continued to the center of the roof.

"Come here," he said, stopping finally and turning to face her. She approached tentatively, beginning to wonder if this was some sort of trick, or if she had actually fallen prey to a serial killer and was about to be his next victim. She stopped in front of him, and he smiled down at her for a moment in a way that made her heart skip a beat. He looked so different from the brash trooper he seemed to be everywhere else; his expression was one of boyish excitement. Without another word, he dropped to his knees, brushing off the ground around them, then flopped onto his back, gazing up at the bustling Coruscant sky, patting the ground next to him.

Apparently there would be no explanation. Aurelia followed suit, cringing at her bare arms touching the gritty, dusty surface of the roof as she lay on her back by his side. She watched him for further instructions, but he was staring straight upward, and raised a single arm to point above them. She rolled her head to follow his gaze, preparing a volley of snarky comments, but they all froze on her lips as her eyes met the sky.

The grids of speeder and ship traffic were always both chaotic and orderly at the same time, forming endless streams in every direction. Somehow, though, Howzer had found one point at which they all converged, at various heights, making a mystifying pattern above them. Lines of colorful lights flew out in perfect angles from the center, which was right above their heads, resulting in some kind of mesmerizing geometric illusion that would make someone on spice question all of reality.

She was both speechless and immediately full of questions. How had he found this place? What kind of clone spent his free time on abandoned rooftops? When did he have time for this when his entire existence seemed to be his duty and his pursuit of booty?

"Ha!" came the triumphant chuckle as Howzer watched the awe on her face. "Makes those ducks at the pond seem pretty boring now, eh?"

"It's pretty amazing," Aurelia admitted, "But they're both beautiful in their own way." She was captivated by the sky above; keeping her eyes in the center provided an incredible design across the entire canvas, but following individual lines was fascinating as well.

"Ahh, you just don't want to admit you're beaten," he said, gently poking an elbow into her ribs. She squirmed, smiling faintly, and tore her eyes from the sky to look at him. His profile was the same as the rest -- sharp nose, thin lips, angular jaw -- yet she felt as if she were seeing him anew.

"How did you find this?"

"I like to explore when I'm alone," he said, but kept his eyes upward and didn't offer any further explanation.

"Well..." she said slowly, returning her gaze to the sky. "I have to admit, I'm impressed."

He smiled, still watching the traffic above.

***

hate to see you go but love to watch you leave ;)

Chapter 7: Tricky Navigation

Chapter Text

Another shift spent mostly outside the Senate chambers left Howzer restless. Hex had been particularly quiet, offering one-word answers to any attempt at conversation, and Howzer had settled instead to pass the time by counting the elaborate golden circles on the arch around the doorframe. They had been standing there silently for nearly ten minutes when Hex suddenly spoke up.

"So this is my last shift here," he said, as if they had been in the middle of a conversation.

"What? Why?" Howzer said, forgetting all 147 of the circles he had just counted.

"Joining the 138th as a resupply. Sounds like we're going to Anaxes."

"I've heard it's wild out there," Howzer said, the sadness and jealousy barely concealed. "Well... good luck."

"Hmm," Hex said as thanks, and they spent the rest of the Senate session in silence. Even the golden circles weren't worth the focus anymore; Howzer wondered if he would ever get his chance to do what he was actually made for. He imagined the adventures Sprint would be having, on a planet as notable as Ryloth, and he sighed out loud as he compared his dreams to his present station.

The Senate door slid open and Orn Free Taa trudged out, along with a couple other representatives. They were laughing about something, and Howzer felt a sudden desire to swat the many jiggling chins he was met with. But alas, there was a shift to finish.

***

"Ahh, cheer up, trooper. You'll get your chance," said Pivot, slapping Howzer on the back at the bar counter of 79s. He had made the mistake of asking what was bothering the messy-haired "shiny" and had received quite the earful about the ridiculousness of others being promoted before him, all that the war effort was missing, and the unbearable injustice of it all.

The females at the establishment had been left relatively alone as well, so Aurelia could tell something was quite "off" tonight. She ran a wet rag across the counter for the 92nd time, ending in front of Howzer and tilting her head at him from behind the bar. She wasn't very good at emotional support, and struggled to think of something to say that might encourage him. Coming up with nothing, she instead pulled out a bottle of fizz from the fridge, popped the cap off, and put it on the counter in front of him, giving his hand a gentle pat.

He looked up at her with eyes that seemed larger than usual and a face that was uncharacteristically serious. The corner of his mouth curved into a small smile, and he gave a nod of thanks. She smiled back, wanting to find more to say, but she was already getting hollered at from the other end of the bar. Never a shortage of thirsty patrons.

As she shook the two drinks up and poured them over the large chunks of ice, Aurelia had an idea that might bring the sparkle back to his eyes. She pushed the glasses across the counter and dropped the credits into the register, then headed back his way. As she approached, a woman slid onto the stool next to him in the smoothest motion possible. Her skin was luxuriously dark, and her slender figure was accentuated by a form-fitted green dress. Her long black hair was tied into a high ponytail, and stunningly sharp purple tattoo lines across her eyes and cheeks gave away her Kiffar lineage.

"Seems like you could use some company," she crooned, placing a delicate hand on Howzer's forearm. An immediate wrenching sensation in Aurelia's chest stopped her in her tracks. She was surprised by the protectiveness she suddenly felt. And was that... jealousy? The woman was undeniably beautiful; her brown eyes and full lips would be the pièce de résistance of an already-gorgeous specimen. Howzer's head whipped up at the attention, and his eyes immediately roved from her head to her toes. Aurelia could tell that he liked what he saw and felt as though an anvil had been dropped into her stomach.

"Hey! Can I get some service over here?" came the call from behind her, and Aurelia turned quickly to avoid seeing any more of the delight on Howzer's face. She attended to the demanding customers, fighting the urge to watch every interaction as he chatted with the Kiffar. A sudden movement caught her eye -- the toss of a head, the swish of luscious black hair -- as the woman laughed jovially at his words, giving him a playful push on the chest and letting her hand linger a few extra moments.

Howzer looked as if he couldn't believe his luck. His swagger was back in full force, and he was laying on the charm. Every stolen glimpse Aurelia allowed herself to take seemed to be a moment of wildly successful flirtation, and when the two of them rose to her feet, she couldn't help but stare. The woman led him out to the dance floor, where she turned and reached her arms out to him, which he gladly took. Leading him in some kind of borderline sensual dance, they weaved between others and each other to the obnoxious thumping rhythm.

Washing out a few more glasses, Aurelia watched him plainly, as he laughed and moved to the music. She felt a sickening sense of envy, as well as a surprising interest in his movement. Most of the clones had an adorably restrained sort of dance, except for the occasional boisterous bunch (and don't even get started on the 501st; they're a league of their own). But Howzer revealed a strength and agility, as well as a surprising amount of grace, that she somehow hadn't expected from someone who was always strutting around as he did.

The music quieted a bit, fading from one track to the next, and the Kiffar woman leaned in to say something in Howzer's ear, pulling away and smiling at him. He looked down at her in a clear pause of hesitation, now standing still, and gave her a grin. He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving his hand on the back of his neck as though deep in conflicted thought, then he leaned forward and said something back to her. Aurelia strained to make out the words on his lips, but she'd never been very good at it. He finished with a small shrug, dipped his head toward her, then turned to head back to the bar counter. The woman sidled over to a table where a few of her friends had apparently remained, sitting with them in a slightly less-than-graceful way.

Scrambling to look busy, Aurelia grabbed a handful of bottles and pretended to be tightening the pouring spouts on all of them, forcing her eyes down to them as if she were completely clueless of anything else going on around her. She felt his presence as he plopped onto an empty seat in front of her, and she looked up, trying to arrange her features in the most innocently curious and unsuspecting way possible.

"Feeling better?" she asked, unable to resist a small smile at the considerably more jovial expression he was now wearing.

"Eh. For now," he answered, lifting his shoulders in another shrug. "How's your shift going?"

Aurelia was bursting at the seams with curiosity, and she never had been one to keep her thoughts to herself. Completely ignoring his question, she had to ask, "What are you doing here talking to me?"

"Ahh, you noticed," Howzer accused, smiling broadly now.

She was caught and she knew it. A flush crept up her cheeks, and Aurelia silently thanked the Maker for the customer that suddenly appeared to place an order. Turning quickly away, she scampered to make the drink, taking as long as she could without being obvious. But there were only so many things to do, and when she passed it into the eager visitor's hands, she was forced to return, equipped with the best attempt at a diversion she could come up with.

"I just didn't want you to be too busy to find out that I've got a place to show you that will top even your fancy little rooftop," she said, feeling a bit more confident behind her witty facade.

"Oh really now?" Howzer answered, tilting his head and lifting his chin. Why was every little movement so disproportionately appealing to her? "You talk a big game, but we'll see if you can deliver. Let's go!"

"I'm kind of in the middle of a shift," Aurelia laughed, still unable to believe that he was sitting in front of her instead of being tangled in the arms of the gorgeous Kiffar woman. She felt a tingly excitement, mind racing with a million possibilities. The next couple of hours could not go by quickly enough.

Chapter 8: Competition

Chapter Text

Despite her shift ending late that night, Howzer had remained, passing the time by chatting with a variety of patrons and Aurelia herself when available. When the last of the duties had been checked off and they exited the building, she locked the door behind her before turning to face him. He opened his arms in an expansive gesture, and she almost went in for a hug before he spoke.

"Alright Reli, show me the world," he said with a playfully challenging tone.

She smiled, still wanting to get a full explanation of why he had turned the Kiffar woman down. Pushing it from her mind and trying to instead be fully present in this fortuitous situation, she led him down to the closest train stop. They walked shoulder to shoulder and occasionally would brush into each other. She tried not to think too much of it, but she had to admit, she liked it. A lot.

They boarded the train, which was relatively empty at this hour, and sat on a bench as it rolled out of the station. Their thighs rested against each other, warm pants against cold armor plates, and they talked about the passing sights. When the doors slid open at their stop, she took his hand and pulled him onto the platform, beginning to wonder if this place wasn't as impressive after all. Shehadtalked a big game...

They were in a ritzy district of the planet, where the buildings were not all a standard rectangular shape but were full of elegant curves and artistic edges. Glowing lights bathed the entire area with a dreamy glow, and the few people who were still out and about were clearly well-to-do.

"We definitely fit right in around here," Howzer quipped, looking up at a tall statue of some rich politician.

"What, you didn't bring your black and white armor?" Aurelia answered, although she did feel self-conscious and couldn't believe she hadn't thought to bring a change of clothes to work. She had eight hours of sweat and drinks clinging to her clothing and body, and she was positive she didn't look or smell great. To avoid spiraling in self-judgment, she focused on the task at hand.

"I'll have to ask them where I can get some of those," Howzer mused, as she pulled him by the hand toward one of the glamorously curvaceous buildings. Slipping around the back, Aurelia opened an inconspicuous door that would otherwise be missed, and they entered a dark hallway. Still holding his hand, and trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach at the thought of it, she turned sharply to a narrow set of stairs that climbed into further darkness. There was rich orchestral music playing somewhere nearby, and it had shifted to a rather ominous sound.

"Listen, if you're mad about earlier, we can talk about it," Howzer began.

"What?" Aurelia was shocked, and stopped on her stair to look back at him.

"I mean, you don't have to bring me here and kill me."

"Ahhh, haha..." she laughed, more nervously than she would have liked. She didn't know if or how to talk about all of that, so roundabout humor was always a good place to start. She continued up the stairs, keeping her tone light, "Why would I be mad?"

"Cause you've got the hots for me," Howzer declared, without missing a beat.

Aurelia laughed again at his accusation, though it wasn't without merit. She just couldn't tell if he was toying with her or was legitimately trying to discern where they stood. They climbed another two flights, back and forth, then reached the top of the steps, which ended in another plain black door. The only light they could see was peeking around the edges of the door, a dim glow from whatever was on the other side.

"You do," he taunted, pulling on her hand to stop her before she could reach the door handle. "You've got it baaaaad."

She turned to face him, feigning confidence and dropping his hand, "Why would I, if I have to compete with every other female on Coruscant?" She tilted her head and crossed her arms, settling her weight to one side in an attempt at sass. "It seems like a silly idea."

"Does it?" Howzer asked, with a serious tone now. He drew closer, and the sheer weight of his full presence and attention made her unconsciously take a step backward, right up against the door behind her. Placing one hand on the door to the side of her head, and reaching for her hip with the other, he leaned in until he was less than a foot away, gazing into her eyes intently. She could see the reflection of light in his brown eyes, and her heart skipped a beat at the intensity of his expression. She forgot every word she'd ever known, and slightly parted lips was the closest she was able to get to speaking.

He bent his head down slightly, bringing his face within inches of her own, and she swallowed hard, pulse racing. She felt electrified and frozen at the same time as he stopped his approach, faces nearly touching, and spoke.

"Told you."

He purred it so quietly that, had he not been teasing her, she would have melted into a puddle right then and there. But he pulled back with a little chuckle, reveling in his hold over her. Once the tingling subsided, she felt the indignation rise. She gave him a little push, her hand slapping on the chest plate of his armor, and he grinned with an infuriating amount of pride.

"That's ridiculous; I could do the same to you," she protested, with a breathy little chuckle that masked a sigh of relief... or disappointment?

"Yeah? Go ahead..." he invited, leaning back against the wall to the side, putting his arms up and the backs of his hands on the wall as if he were at her mercy.

"Mm, nice try," she said, although the scene playing out in her mind was very different. "You're just trying to stall my victory over you with this awesome place."

"You're right... A dark staircase is truly stunning."

"Alright, alright," she laughed, turning to open the door behind them. The light made them squint, even though it was still relatively dim. As they edged out of the doorway, onto a narrow balcony, Howzer took a look around. They appeared to be in the rafters of some kind of opera house; far below them was an orchestra on a stage, surrounded by luminous orbs of light in varying shades of blue and gold. It was the tail end of some performance, and they had a bird's eye view.

Aurelia beckoned for him to follow, walking carefully along the wall; to their side was a railing, then the large open space that housed the orchestra three stories down. They inched along until they were in the center of the space, where two large curtains hung in front of the railing, draping all the way down to the floor. At that point, the wall behind them opened to reveal a crawl space with a ladder. She silently got on, taking slow and careful steps to descend downward into the dark. Howzer followed, feeling thoroughly intrigued.

The crawl space opened up on the floor below, revealing the dimly lit rafters above the orchestra. It was full of various stage props, curtains, ropes, and planks. They emerged onto a wooden walkway, taking a few steps to the right, where a small platform provided a little alcove for storage. There were two plush wingback chairs and a plethora of other decorative items for various performances. Aurelia plopped into one of the chairs, inviting him to do the same, and when he did, he realized they were tucked perfectly into a corner and yet could still see and hear a lot of the beauty of the stage.

She immediately felt self-conscious, however. What had she been thinking? This was something for stuffy old rich people to spend their time doing, and yet here she was with an ambitious young clone fresh from Kamino. She bit her lip, listening to the enchanting music swell with emotion, and didn't want to look at him next to her.

He leaned over in his seat to whisper in her ear, "I never took you for the ritzy type."

"Yeah... Um... A friend who works backstage here showed me this spot... The shows are always changing, and sometimes they're really neat..." she felt as though she needed to explain it all, until she saw Howzer move next to her, rising back to his feet. She looked up at him, and he extended a hand to her, bowing with an overly-dramatic flourish.

"Well we mustn't insult this fine establishment by not participating appropriately," he said. Bewildered, she took his hand and stood with a nervous laugh. He wrapped his arms around her and began stepping to the rhythm of the music, making comical little swirls when it picked up and moving more slowly when it quieted. Neither of them had any idea what they were doing, but she did her best to avoid tripping over her own feet, giggling at the ridiculousness of it all. She looked up at him and had to stifle a full-blown guffaw at the obnoxiously snooty expression on his face, which he dropped to grin down at her, pleased with himself.

Her hands rested on his armor plates, his around her waist, firmly guiding her in the random myriad of steps he was deciding as he went. One more swirly turn had her leaning into his shoulder for balance, or at least that's what she told herself. She felt an exhilaration rising in her chest, and she caught a whiff of his scent -- clean and crisp.

"I wish I could feel you without this armor," she muttered.

"What?"

She gasped, picking her head up quickly and looking up at him with a shocked expression. She hadn't meant to say it out loud. Praying with her entire being that he truly hadn't heard her, she fumbled for something to say in replacement, but ended up with a stuttered, "Ah, nothing."

He let it go, much to her surprise, and the song ended. They stumbled to a halt with a few mirthful "ssshh!" sounds at each other. The raucous applause from the audience masked the sound of approaching footsteps, but the following hubbub of the crowd leaving did not.

"What are you doing?" came a sharp voice behind them, as a stern-looking Bothan stormed toward the pair. "You're not supposed to be in here."

"Absolutely right, sir," Howzer said with a confident tone of authority. "I found her sniffing around up here and am taking her in for questioning." He grabbed Aurelia's arm at the elbow, jerking his head to tell her to start moving. They began walking back toward the ladder, past the Bothan, hoping it would be enough to get away with.

"But you don't work here," the leonine figure countered. "I've never seen you--"

"Just a good citizen doing my duty, sir. Not to worry; she won't be around here again," Howzer reassured, continuing to walk purposefully.

"Wait a minute," his voice came again from behind them, and they stopped to slowly turn. Aurelia had never seen him before, and he did not look like the type to be trifled with. She felt a panic rising within, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation as smoothly as possible, when he continued to speak, "The door is that way." He pointed to the stairs to their right.

Trying not to appear visibly relieved, Aurelia put on a contrite expression as Howzer escorted her to the stairway, trotting downward and finding the exit promptly. They burst out into the cool night air, and as the door slammed behind them, they both laughed. Aurelia slumped against the stone wall behind her, splatting her palm against her forehead.

"Okay," she said, feeling thoroughly relieved and wildly embarrassed at the whole ordeal, "You win. I give up. The park is the best I can do."

Howzer laughed, grabbing her hand and pulling her to stand up straight with him, then starting to walk down the sidewalk. "Yeah, I knew I had you," he said playfully, "But the park is still pretty great." He entwined his fingers with hers, causing a burst of energy to run up her spine. They headed back the way they came, lost in their own thoughts for a moment, before he spoke up again.

"And we might be able to do something about this armor problem."

Aurelia's mouth fell open, shocked and embarrassed that he had indeed heard. She stared at him, gaping like a fish out of water, and he laughed, returning his eyes to the path in front of them.

"I just meant... it's hard, and..."

"Yeah. And who can resist the wonders beneath?" he gave her a side-eye, a flirtatious little eyebrow waggle with his tongue in his cheek, that temporarily punctuated her mortified state with a quick laugh.

"Well, apparently every female at 79s," she quipped smartly, elbowing him in the ribs. He chuckled, bringing his opposite hand to his side, and they continued on, leaving the topic untouched. At least out loud.

Chapter 9: Affinity

Chapter Text

More weeks passed, and the rooftop tower and the park became irresistible places of respite for both Howzer and Aurelia. It felt like an escape from the disappointments and drudgery of life, and something about the beauty and seclusion made them both feel as though they could let their guards down. There was no expectation from either of them to act or be anything other than their genuine selves. Reli found it a welcome opportunity to release all her expectations and self-criticism about what her lifeshouldbe like, and Howzer found himself enjoying the short vacations from his restless aspirations.

He still maintained his front otherwise, and Aurelia felt a sense of gratitude that she was privvy to both sides of his character, though she longed for him to see that his swagger was unnecessary. But she was just as guilty of frustration and paralyzing self-condemnation when it came to her own plans and perception of herself. She enjoyed the clones at 79s but felt an increasing pressure to determine her unique place in the galaxy.

The park became their primary getaway from it all, and they found solace in the calm from both the setting and each other. As Howzer slowly revealed layer after layer, Aurelia found herself marveling at his uniqueness and complexity. She had known the clones had individual personalities, but she had assumed that it was relatively limited, considering their somewhat singular purpose for existence. She also noticed, within her own private reflection, an increasing amount of her thoughts centering around him.

They found a little clearing by the edge of the pond that suited them perfectly. Accessible by pushing through two thick bushes, it had three tall trees and one large fallen trunk that all provided a variety of backrests. The thick foliage between the trees hedged it in, making it even quieter than the rest of the park, and the pond stretched out before them, rippling only occasionally when the waterfowl would make an appearance.

Enjoying a rare evening off of work, Aurelia reclined against the log, legs stretched out in front of her, feet crossed. The sun was low, casting a golden glow across the horizon and painting the sky with splashes of orange and yellow. The branches cracked behind her, and Howzer emerged, free from Senator duty for now. He had a datapad tucked under his arm, and he eagerly plopped onto the ground next to her, pulling his helmet off and dropping it to the side.

"Okay, don't laugh at me," he began, tossing his head to get some hair out of his eyes as he pulled the datapad in front of them. He leaned against her side, closer than he had ventured before, and she was struck by his sudden proximity. But there was no time to dwell on it, as he activated the datapad and continued, "So... you talked about poetry the first night we met. And it turns out that paper books are virtually impossible to find, but I found a little something that I thought you would like."

Aurelia looked up at him, surprised to see a slight redness blossoming across his cheeks, and he kept his eyes firmly on the screen. Her heart skipped a beat, startling her, and she forced her attention onto the datapad instead.

"Since when do you look for poetry?" she asked.

"I... uh... I just stumbled across it," Howzer answered, bringing it up on the screen and holding it out to her. Feeling both warmed and emboldened by his own sheepishness, she looked at him again.

"Would you read it to me?"

"Erm," he hesitated, scanning the lines and feeling the heat rising in his face, "No."

She laughed, leaning closer to bend over the screen, "Fair enough." Her eyes found the words:

The galaxy spirals and we strive,
Beating against the current.
A star collapses, a star is born.
Futility fights and purpose pursues.
Within the tension, we exist.
A spark of light in eternity,
Interconnected, inexplicable,
Integral yet insignificant.

Whatever she may have been expecting, that was not it. She read it again, the words washing over her with layers and layers of significance and poignancy. Howzer shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat and searching for something to say.

"It's beautiful," she said softly, wanting so badly to look up at him but feeling a palpable sense of tension and not wanting to make it any worse.

"You like it?" he asked, encouraged by her praise and finally tearing his eyes from the screen to look at her face. Her profile was distinct, a defined nose framed by curls, lips silently mouthing the words before her one last time.

"I love it," she answered, lifting her face to find that his was less than a foot away. She swallowed, feeling a bolt of energy surge through her. His brown eyes had flecks of both light and dark in them, and his jaw muscle tensed, accentuating his high cheekbones and sharp features. He looked so different to her, void of all the arrogance and bluster he usually wore like his armor. She felt a sudden urge to touch his face, biting her lip to bring her focus back, and his gaze dropped to her mouth, lowering his head just enough to bring a tuft of hair back down into his eyes.

It was too much to resist. And perhaps it was her turn to tease him a little. Slowly, carefully, she lifted a hand to gently brush the hair back with the rest, lingering for a moment before self-consciously returning her hand to her lap. A small smile curved his lips, and he dropped the datapad into his lap, leaning toward her with sudden focus. Her entire body flooded with tingles as he brought his face to hers...

...and planted the sloppiest kiss she could have imagined.

She pulled back, surprised at the wildly unpolished and downright messy approach. She had thought of kissing him before, she had to admit, but she'd expected a much more... experienced... sort of encounter. Before her brain caught up, she wiped the back of a few fingers across her mouth.

Her face must have belied her thoughts far more than she wanted, because when his eyes opened and met hers, he winced and turned away quickly. "Uhh, can we go back and erase that?" he asked, cringing visibly.

Aurelia's shock subsided, and she rearranged her features into an encouraging smile, placing a hand on his knee. "Erase what?" she answered invitingly.

"That awful mess of a... oh..." he realized, lifting one corner of his mouth as he realized.

"With all of your romantic endeavors, I'd just assumed you would have--" Aurelia began.

"It's all a lie," Howzer interrupted, flustered now, "I'm a big fraud. I've never even kissed anyone before, and nowthat'sthe initial start of my record." This came as a surprise; even with the regular rejections he received, she had assumed he had sealed the deal a good number of times, even just statistically speaking. His defenseless admission and subsequent shame made her heart swell in her chest.

"Howzer," she began gently, wanting to reassure him but totally unsure of what to say. She paused, looking down to her hand on his knee, and instead opted to give it a light pat. He moved his hand to cover hers, closing around it and giving it a squeeze of silent gratitude.

"I know, I know... You're trying to turn me into a big softie."

Aurelia laughed, feeling the lightness return, "You got me."

"I just... I don't know. You can't really understand what it's like, being created in a laboratory, being just one of millions that are literally just like me," he said suddenly, eyes dropping to his lap. He released her hand, clasping his own together. "The entire purpose of my existence is to be used and to die."

The gravity of his admission hit her like a Jawa scrap heap, and she felt an empathetic ache in her chest as she considered his perspective on life. Feeling insufficient as usual when it came to weighty matters, she lifted her hand to his cheek, gently inviting him to turn and look at her. He obliged, and she was shocked at the emotion in his eyes.

"I mean," she started, haltingly; she didn't want to make light of it but couldn't really argue with what he was saying, "On a macro level, that's kind of how all our existences go..." He gazed at her evenly, eyebrows curved up just a touch in the middle, and she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "But no matter how we were made or what our lot in life is, all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. Even if we do something that seems small, it can have effects that go beyond what we see and know in our lifetime."

He soaked up her words, breaking their eye contact to look down once again. She dropped her hand from his face, and the lingering sensation of his skin on her hand made her want to reach for him again, but he sighed deeply, looking forward at the water and trees.

"Sounds pretty wise," he mumbled, and they settled to watch the darkening sky in silence.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

*Author's note... Blatant plagiarism of Gandalf's infamous quote, I know. ;)

Chapter 10: Conflict of Interest

Chapter Text

It had been a week since what Howzer referred to as "the disaster", and neither of them had been able to stop thinking about it since. Work and life had kept them busy; Orn Free Taa had been entertaining in the evenings, requiring Howzer's presence more frequently. Aurelia began to wonder if he was avoiding her, and worried that her reaction had put a distance between them. So she was particularly relieved one night when, as she was escorting the last patrons to the exit and preparing to lock it behind them, she saw him standing in the doorway.

"Sorry mister, we're closing for the night," she said, tilting her head and smiling.

"I'm on a mission," he responded, "Important Republic business." There was a glint in his eye as he lowered his head a tiny bit, and she ushered him in, eager to reconnect while she finished closing up for the night.

"I've missed you around here," Aurelia admitted, opening the door for the same authenticity they shared at the park. He smiled, sauntering to the utility closet and taking out a broom.

"Droid broken again?" Howzer asked, starting to sweep in a corner.

"As usual," she said, grateful for his help. It was the wee hours of the morning, and he was certainly exhausted, yet here he was. She began replacing glasses on the shelves from the drying rack as his sweeping brought him behind the bar as well.

"Listen," he said, leaning the broom against the wall for a moment and turning to face her, "I'm sorry about the disaster. I don't know what came over me, and it wasn't my most shining moment."

She waved a hand dismissively, trying to put him at ease. It seemed as though he had been carrying the weight ever since, and she didn't want it to be a permanent regret. "It's no big deal," she said. "It was... cute."

"Cute," he repeated, rolling his eyes, "That's exactly what I'm going for here." His face turned serious, and he took a step closer to her, rubbing his fingers across his chin before taking a deep breath and standing tall, addressing her with resolve now, "Reli... I want to try that again."

Her breath caught in her throat, and she nearly dropped the glass she was holding. His vulnerability was equally disarming and magnetic, and she found a deep yearning rising within. She scrambled to maintain her composure forcing herself to sound nonchalant, "I mean, if you must..."

Without another word, he closed the space between them, bending over her slightly and looking intently into her eyes. His mouth was set in a firm line, and he lifted a hand to the back of her head, spreading his fingers across her neck and nestling them under her hair. His other hand rested on her hip, pulling her toward him a little more. He moved slowly, carefully, with an apparent amount of effort and focus, and leaned in to kiss her.

His lips pressed against hers softly, then more forcefully, and he tilted his head, eyes firmly closed. Aurelia's heart was beating against her ribcage, and she was sure he could hear it. Her eyelids squeezed together and she closed out everything else, savoring the scent of his face and the thrill of his mouth on hers.

"Oh yeah!!" a throaty voice yelled, and they jerked apart in surprise. Apparently, she hadn't yet cleared the refreshers, and two clones appeared from the doorway, one of them holding the other up with an arm around his shoulders. He had probably been sick in there, and her elation began to fade as she considered the scene that awaited her.

"Wait, Howzer?!" the standing clone said, ignoring his brother's groaning and mumbling about getting out of there when he recognized the messy mop of hair. "Haha!! With thebartender?!No way! That desperate, are you?"

Howzer's face turned bright red, and he backed away as if he'd been jabbed with an electrostaff. The two hobbled for the exit, which Aurelia slunk over to unlock, and the standing one threw one last jab over his shoulder at Howzer, "The boys are gonna love to hear about this."

Aurelia moved to click the lock into place as the door slid shut behind them, but they sprung back open as Howzer quickly approached. He paused for a moment, opening his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut again, shaking his head and disappearing into the night. She watched him until the door whooshed closed, leaving her there speechless.

***

Aurelia fought the desire to crane her neck toward the door every time it opened, trying to distract herself with the never-ending demands of the raucous crowd. She had a coworker at least: a new service droid who would eventually be helpful but was currently more of a burden in its need to be constantly instructed in everything. She had come to approximately eighteen different conclusions about the events of last night but felt sure of none of them, so was anxious to get some closure.

Half an hour later, she found herself elbows deep in a fiasco: the droid had somehow crossed the keg lines, resulting in a whole batch of mixed-up drinks and confused patrons. She was simultaneously trying to show the droid where it went wrong, make the right drinks, and answer the litany of questions from the demanding customers, and quickly felt the frustration rising.

"Oy! This isn't what we ordered!" came another identical voice, and that was the last straw. Whipping around, she held up a hand and promptly began yelling.

"I KNOW! I'm on it, okay?!"

The clone in question still had his helmet on, oddly enough, and balked at the vitriol in her voice before coming right back, "Well let's hit the engines then, eh?"

She stared at his expressionless helmet, starting to see red and determining if she would lose her job for throwing a shaker at him. It was playing out in her mind when the voices of the friends he'd been sitting with came from a table behind.

"Come on, Howzer! Where are the drinks?!"

She felt as if she'd been punched in the gut this time, mouth falling open slightly for a moment. How could he be treating her like this? She was used to his usual bravado, but this was a level beyond. Two of his brothers ambled over from the table; one clapped him on the back and the other pulled off his helmet, revealing a face that for a brief second held an expression of shame.

"What's the matter, Howz, getting all tongue-tied around your girlfriend?" heckled the one with his helmet.

"Seriously, mate, scraping the bottom the barrel, aren't you..." said the other, jabbing him in the ribs. "I mean...her?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Howzer barked, shoving them off of him. "I told you, I was drunk out of my mind! You two get the drinks then." He gave each of them a hard look, striding back to their table without a second glance at Aurelia.

This time, it was not merely a visual in her mind, and Aurelia whipped the steel shaker cup across the room at the back of his head. It connected with a gratifyingthwack, sending his head forward and his hand immediately to it. He whirled around, gaping at her in shock as his cronies howled in delight and provided a colorful amount of commentary.

She stared at him, mouth closed now as she fought back tears, and his surprise dissolved into an unreadable expression. "Pivot!" she yelled, and he appeared from the crowd, "Congrats. You're hired. The bar is yours tonight." And without another word, she stalked right out.

Amid the cacophony of cheers and remarks, Pivot stared speechless at the door after her, then at his brothers around him. He wasn't one to pass up an opportunity, though, so he raised his mug in his hand, smiling broadly.

"Looks like it's on the house tonight, boys!"

Chapter 11: Divergence

Chapter Text

Aurelia wrapped her arms around herself, huddling against the base of the tree in a feeble attempt at consolation. The tears flowed freely now as she let out all of the confusion, hurt, and sadness that had been pent up inside since last night, taking deep, shaky breaths as she silently cried. She watched a pair of the long-necked birds perusing the pond together, moving their necks in sync, and felt an aching emptiness where her heart had been full and warm the last time she'd been here.

A familiar crunch of someone moving through the branches startled her, and she saw Howzer pushing through into the clearing. She had specifically checked the Senate session schedule, and he should have been tied up there for at least a few hours more. Quickly wiping the tears from her face, she leapt to her feet, rage overtaking the sadness.

"Get out of here, Howzer," she said, her voice breaking without her permission.

"I will. I'm sorry. I mean, just listen..." he began, reaching a hand toward her.

She smacked it away as hard as she could, relishing in the flinch that crossed his face, "I don't want to hear it. You know what speaks louder than words? Actions. And you spoke very clearly last night." Without waiting for a response, she charged through the bushes back to the main path, walking as quickly as she could and refusing to look back.

The sound of his footsteps approaching fueled her indignation, and she stopped and whirled to face him as he ran to catch up. She clenched her fists tightly at her sides, feeling a strong urge to punch that fresh little face of his. He stopped a few feet away, hands in the air.

"Please. Listen to me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean--"

"Mean what? To lead me on for so long? For me to lose my job? To pretend and then throw it in my face?" she demanded, eyes welling with tears again. "I thought you were different," she finished, her voice frustratingly squeaky with emotion.

"You lost your job?" Howzer said in surprise, a look of sadness flitting across his face. "I'm so sorry. I was--"

"An ass. An oblivious little moof-milker," she volunteered, opening her mouth for more. But he stepped closer, hands still in the air, almost desperate in his insistence to get through to her.

"I'm leaving for Ryloth tonight!" he spluttered, and she snapped her mouth shut in shock. Flooded with anger and hurt, she tried to make sense of his words.

"Why?"

"Change of station. Sprint put in a good word for me and I'm going to be in his unit. Time to blast some Seppies, finally!" He was bordering on excitement when he remembered the situation between then, toning it back down quickly. "I wanted to make things right before I left."

Aurelia lifted both hands to her face, pressing and rubbing her eyes and cheeks. She took a deep breath, dropping her hands to her sides and looking up at him sadly.

"Okay, thanks for telling me. Take care," she said, turning to continue on her way.

"Wait!" Howzer exclaimed, taking a few quick steps after her and grabbing her upper arm, "Please..."

She yanked her arm from his grasp, stopping to face him again. His eyes were pools of emotion, accentuated by the concerned tilt of his eyebrows and the tension in his lower lip. She felt a wave of electricity wash over her, hating that it did.

"It's probably best this way," she said, eyes hard. "You've got your glorious purpose ahead of you. Go end the war."

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said softly, "I just--"

"Stop trying to explain it, Howzer. It is what it is. Be safe out there. And tell Sprint I said hello." And with that, she turned and continued toward the edge of the park, walking confidently to hide the fact that her face was melting into a pained contortion of sadness, anger, and grief.

Howzer remained still, staring after her until she disappeared from view. He dropped his gaze to the ground, angrily kicking a nearby rock, then slowly began trudging to pack his things.

Chapter 12: Correction

Chapter Text

22 BBY - Ryloth

"That was a good run today, boys. Clean up and prepare for tomorrow; we're going to take their supply station. Dimissed," Sprint said with a loud, clear voice.

Howzer pulled his helmet off along with the rest of the troops around him, breaking formation and scattering to their individual plans. He fell into step next to Sprint as they walked toward their barracks. "Is it true that Syndulla and his team will be there tomorrow too?" he asked.

"Not sure," Sprint shrugged, "That's above my pay grade. But I'd guess he'll be with the Jedi and Captain Keeli's squad, so probably not." He looked stately with his new teal green pauldron which matched the paint he had decorated his armor with. Howzer had initially made fun of it but gave up once he realized he wasn't going to get a rise out of his friend.

"Hmm. I'd like to work forhim," Howzer continued, "Now there's someone who gets stuff done."

"Yeah, there are mixed opinions of him," Sprint answered. "Some say he's too radical, others say he does what's needed. Who knows. Maybe we'll get to see for ourselves someday."

"Maybe," Howzer agreed. "You coming to the cantina tonight? These Twi'leks are spicy when it's a full moon..."

Sprint shook his head with a small smile, waiting for the day that Howzer wouldn't feel the need to always have something like that to say. With a nod, they parted ways for the evening.

***

21 BBY - Ryloth

***

"Left flank! Move in!" came the orders, and Howzer gripped his DC-17 tightly. They charged into the ravine, taking cover behind the rocks amid the chaos of flying laser bolts and taking turns shooting at the approaching droids.

"Aerial team, in position?"

"Yes sir!"

"Go."

Shots rained down on the Separatist army from all directions as a squad of troopers popped out of their hiding places along the ridges of the ravine. Fueled by the element of surprise and the resulting disorder, Howzer and his brothers ran in, mowing down the rows of metal with surprising ease. Almost... too easy.

"Droidekas!" Sprint announced, "Fall back!"

The troopers ran back to the cover of the rocks as the droids rolled into position, expanding their ray shields and beginning to fire.

"Grenades!"

A few blasts flashed on and around the droids, but they remained impervious to damage.

"You've got to roll them slowly!" Sprint yelled in the comm, "Second wave!"

But before they could toss the remaining grenades, a deafening roar was heard as a herd of large creatures descended from behind the droid army. A vicious array of Twi'lek warriors charged in on their blurrg mounts, wiping out droids left and right with spears and blasters.

"It's Syndulla!" exclaimed the clone next to Howzer, as they peeked over their rock. He marveled at the ferocity and efficiency of the team as they tore through the ranks.

"Let's finish them off!" Howzer cheered.

"Stay in formation," Sprint ordered.

But Howzer was filled with adrenaline. This was his chance to make an impression on Cham Syndulla, the legendary "Hammer of Ryloth". It was his chance to take one step closer to his aspirations. He broke free from his rock cover, charging in to face the remaining battle droids. He dropped two of them with two shots, yelling in victory, and ran across a clearing to finish off a few more. What he didn't see was the commando droid flipping over his head, landing behind him and targeting him with its blaster.

"Howzer!" Sprint yelled, watching the situation unfold, "Behind!" He raised his own blaster, running forward into the clearing and peppering the droid with a few shots. Yet somehow it still stood, pivoting in a complete 180 and firing toward Sprint. He dove sideways, narrowly missing a bolt to the chest, and flung an EMP toward the commando.

Then everything happened simultaneously: the commando droid sizzled in a bright flash of blue as Howzer charged at it, unaware of the Twi'lek mount leaping over the rock behind it toward the remaining droideka. The commando droid dropped, leaving Howzer facing the blurrg, and he dodged at the last minute. But he was not quite fast enough -- a swinging Twi'lek spear met the side of his face with a sickening sound, and his head snapped sideways, followed by his body. His fall was broken by a jagged rock, catching his chin on the way down, and he landed in a crumped heap as everything faded to black.

***

Howzer woke up in the medical wing, face wrapped almost entirely in white gauze. He heard the steady beep of machines and squinted, attempting to see clearly with one of his eyes partially covered. A medical droid hovered near a trooper in the next bed, and Howzer sat up more fully to look around, immediately regretting the movement as it caused a stabbing pain in his head.

"Hello CT-2420," said the medical droid, flying over to run a scan over his face. "You have sustained significant trauma to the parietal and temporal areas of your skull, as well as a series of lacerations to your cheek. It is uncertain whether or not your brain function has been impaired."

"It was impaired from the start," Sprint said suddenly, pulling back the curtain and coming to stand next to the bed. He smiled, placing a hand on Howzer's shoulder, who rolled more slowly this time to focus on him with his uncovered eye. The teal splashes on white armor were a welcome sight.

"Whh hmmfn?" the sound was as much of a surprise to Howzer as it was a comical sight to Sprint, who chuckled at the muffled attempts at speech through the immobilizing gauze wrapped around Howzer's cheeks, chin, and head.

"You disobeyed orders, that's what. Nearly got me shot and earned yourself a nice smack to the face. I'd put you on leave, but it seems you've received a consequence already."

"Mff" was the only reply, as Howzer lifted a hand to his head.

"You wanted to show off for Syndulla," Sprint accused, crossing his arms. "Howzer, I'm serious. I know you have big dreams, but you're never going to be a captain if you don't get a hold of yourself."

Howzer remained silent, eyes dropping to the foot of his bed. Sprint gave him one last pat on the shoulder, "You've got it in you, brother. Being a good leader isn't about bravado, it's about doing the right thing. Sometimes that includes heroic actions, like those of General Di and Captain Keeli... Maker rest their souls... But more often, it's about considering the whole picture and not just yourself. Now rest up."

"Hmmph."

***

Chapter 13: Surprise

Chapter Text

Months passed, blending together with the unceasing rhythm of pushing back the Separatists, losing ground, and repeating. Ryloth was an important planet, despite its attempts to remain neutral and simply be left alone as an independent system. It had been utilized by the Hutts for years as a center of slavery and spice trade. Dooku had secretly backed coups on it before the official start of the war, in an attempt to further sow discord. And despite the valiant sacrifices of Jedi General Di and his unit, resulting in a breakthrough of the Separatist blockade, the conflict continued.

War had a way of turning even the most optimistic cadets into disillusioned cynics, but the clones were born and bred for one reason alone, so their plight went on. They found brotherhood with one another, as well as the occasional Twi'lek, and punctuated weeks of fighting with days of rest and recovery.

The planet had a notably diverse landscape, ranging from tall mountain ranges to desert plains, peppered with lush forests throughout. It pushed troopers to their limits as they were forced to engage with the Separatist army on every terrain. Men were lost, names and numbers fading into oblivion as the cost of war, and replacements were delivered from Kamino.

Howzer's unit had taken a heavy blow in the last battle, and he felt heavy with the weight of it all. Perhaps "waddling around after the diplofat" on Coruscant hadn't been so bad in comparison. But he still closely held his dreams of leadership, of being in a position where he could truly make a difference, and that kept him going even when things were tedious and discouraging.

The start of the rotation found Sprint briefing his company: General Kenobi and his team had successfully destroyed of the proton cannons guarding the planet, which cleared the way for General Windu and company to land in the hopes of taking the capital city of Lessu. As Windu's forces were fighting their way to the capital, Sprint's job was to take a platoon to clear a few villages on the way of any and all hostiles, ensuring places for Windu's men to rest and recoup, to save their manpower for the fight at the capital and give the Republic the best chance at finally conquering it.

The first village had been surprisingly easy. Only a few units of battle droids remained, since the village had no apparent tactical use and wasn't assumed to be much of a target. Howzer felt his confidence rising, a much-needed boost after weeks of drudgery. The next village was larger and was situated neatly inside what looked like a large crater. There was excellent visibility, allowing them to scope it out from a nearby ridge.

"I don't see any droids," a clone scout said, scanning through the streets and buildings with electrobinoculars, "But there are natives, mostly in their homes. Not much activity."

"Hmm," Sprint considered, taking the scope and having a look for himself. "It's unlikely that the Separatists would leave it completely unattended, being so close to the capital..."

"Let's just skip it and go on to the next one," Howzer chimed in from behind, shifting from one foot to the other with impatience. He had grown a lot in the last few months, but the youthful vigor still surfaced when it came to seemingly mundane assignments.

"We have orders," Sprint chided, giving Howzer a stern glance. "Let's move in and see what we're working with. Stay in formation, keep it tight. Eyes everywhere."

"Sir, yes sir," chorused the troops.

***

They combed through the village, tension mounting as they apprehensively worked their way around every corner. A few Twi'leks said things to them in passing, but the only words Howzer could make out were random and didn't make sense -- things like "empty" and "gone". He assumed it was confirming the suspicion that the Separatists had moved on, but it still was mystifying as to why they had pulled their forces out.

It had been dark for a while when Sprint called the platoon to regroup, pulling up a hologram of the remaining sectors of the village, "It's getting late, so let's split up. Two squads with Lieutenant Trax, head this way and divide to cover these two areas. The remaining two squads with me; we'll work our way through these two."

Off they went, fanning out into the darkness, illuminated occasionally by the flickering lights along the streets and the warm glow coming from various windows. It felt oddly peaceful, and after hours of finding no combatants, Howzer was starting to let his guard down. His hand was tight around his DC-17, and he marched quietly next to his partner, following Sprint's teal-lined helmet up ahead.

BOOM!

The ground shook and the skies lit up with an orange ball of flame on the far side of the crater, followed by two more, as an array of droid bombers screamed past above them. The droids pulled up, making an arc high in the sky, and turned to make another pass over the village.

"Bombers!! Take cover!" Sprint shouted, and the squad scattered. Distant screams reached their ears as the bombers dropped another round on the village, closer now. The buildings rattled with the impact, various things falling to the ground, and the scent of smoke quickly followed. A group of Twi'leks appeared from an alleyway, clutching each other and casting frightened glances to the sky.

"Get inside!" Sprint yelled to them, motioning to a nearby doorway. Howzer edged over to them, hearing the droids approaching yet again, and pointed with his gun, encouraging them to move. A chorus of Twi'leki words met his ears as they gestured frantically, but he had no idea what they were trying to say. He grabbed the female in the lead by her arm, nodding his head, and pulled her across the street, blaster at the ready.

The rest followed behind, growing more and more insistent in whatever they were trying to say, and Howzer pushed them toward some stairs leading to a doorway. The droids were coming around again, the ominous sound growing louder.

"Why are they bombing a civilian village? They shouldn't even know we're here!" one of the clones yelled to Sprint, who threw his hands up in frustrated confusion. He was gesturing for them to move further to the edge of the town when suddenly his eyes landed on a small Twi'lek boy running down the street, calling the same words over and over, tears streaming down his face.

Bombs began to fall, thundering closer and closer to them now, and the boy cried out in terror. Sprint found himself running toward him, abandoning his cover, yelling and waving an arm to the child. Howzer squeezed the last of his group through the downstairs doorway, ready to cram himself in behind them when he saw Sprint flying past them above on the street.

Chapter 14: Loss

Chapter Text

"Sprint!" shouted Howzer, starting to run up the stairs, but the ground shook with a nearby explosion, throwing him to the side against the wall. The top of the building above the doorway broke in half, falling with a deafening crash and landing on the steps above Howzer. The next shell landed almost on top of them; a blast of heat rippled out with the shockwave as stones and beams tumbled down.

It felt like an eternity before the dust settled. There was nothing but chaos and flames, and Howzer couldn't hear anything past the ringing in his ears. Slowly rising to his feet and getting his bearings, he could see the outline of the stone that had fallen, framed by the orange glow of flames beyond it. It had landed with one end at the top of the steps and the other end smashed up against the building overhead, making a rudimentary roof over the subterranean doorway. If it had been tilted ten degrees in either direction, he would have been crushed instantly.

He took a shaky breath, placing a hand on the rock wall next to him, standing up straight with agonizing slowness, afraid that he might break in half at any moment. He blinked, shaking his head a little bit, and then turned to the doorway behind him, opening it a crack. The stairs continued downward into a basem*nt room, where he heard the worried voices of the Twi'leks.

Suddenly, he remembered Sprint, kicking himself mentally for being so thrown off by the explosion. He shut the door and climbed up the stairs, finding a small opening at the side and squeezing through it. The scene that met his eyes made his stomach drop to his feet in shock and horror. The place had been leveled, with nothing but heaps of rubble remaining. Flames danced here and there, and the heat and smoke hit him like a wall.

A flash of motion caught Howzer's eye, and he turned to see a brother limping out from one of the demolished buildings that was still on fire. He ran to him, putting an arm around him for support and helping him away from the blaze. A fallen wooden beam made a makeshift bench, and Howzer gently helped the clone to sit, trying to ignore the yelp of pain. The man leaned back, head rolling in obvious discomfort.

"Did you see anyone else?" Howzer asked loudly, receiving only a shake of the head in return. "Okay -- wait here, I'll be back." He stood, casting a frantic glance around the clearing. The droids had gone, and the entire crater was lit with flames and devastation. There was no sight of the rest of his squad. He began to search, looking for any signs of white armor, any movement, anything.

This was the part of war that wasn't glorified in the tales told, the part that pierces the soul and separates bone from marrow with unfathomable horror as survival instinct takes over. He found two more brothers, bodies broken and crushed grotesquely, and checked their pulses regardless. He felt a growing sense of dread, continuing to call out amid the piles of rubble, straining to hear any signs of life.

His heart leapt as he spotted a white helmet up ahead, near a partially collapsed building, and he ran as quickly as he could. It felt as though he were underwater, but he pressed on with an urgency. Drawing near, his heart sunk once again at the sickening realization that the helmet had been painted teal green on the sides. He moved toward the building, which had broken down upon itself, and shouted into the darkness.

"Sprint!"

Nothing.

He stood, looking around on the ground for any blood or tracks to give any clue where the helmet's owner was. And then he could have sworn he heard a voice. He whirled around, eyes casting about frantically, checking all the spots he had already checked three times. He felt a bead of sweat roll down the side of his face. Then he heard it again.

It was coming from the side of the building. He discovered another set of stairs, leading down to a doorway much like the one that had protected him. It was covered in chunks of stone and wooden beams, but there were gaps. He bent down, listening intently, and now he was positive: a weak, feeble voice. Someone was under there.

"Help!" he shouted, without really thinking about it, "Anyone! Help!" He felt as though he were breaking apart, which came as a surprise considering how much he had loved to remind people how cool and collected he was in all of his training drills. He began to pull away at the stones, pressing his weight against the larger ones to shift them out of the way. He was simultaneously terrified at the possibility of making them all collapse while also feeling the sense of urgency to get to whoever was down there.

He moved a big beam aside, and the light from the fires streamed in, revealing a small green hand flailing through a criss-crossed beam beneath it. He pushed the beam aside and reached down, finding the little hand and grasping it firmly. Pulling it upward gently, he fished the Twi'lek boy out of the mess, setting him to the side. He was covered in dust and splotches of blood, from his lekku to his bare feet, and he trembled violently.

Howzer dropped to one knee in front of him, placing his hands on either shoulder and staring at him intently. "Where is Sprint?" he asked insistently, trying to get his point across with his hands. The boy shook his head, still crying in panic, and Howzer had to resist the urge to try to shake him out of it. "Where did he go?" he tried again.

The boy continued shaking his head, grimacing in an awful expression of despair, and pointed toward the rubble he had recently been pulled from. Howzer leapt to the beams, pushing with all his might to make a bigger opening. A large rock fell from the side, and half of the pile crumbled away with it. The sudden lack of resistance made Howzer fall to his side as the stairs below suddenly came into focus.

Sprint's body, unmistakable with the teal armor accents, was held in place by the wooden beam that had taken his life. He was frozen in a hunched position, arms out on either side, and the space beneath him was the perfect size and shape for a child. The building had collapsed on both of them, and his last effort had been to bend over the Twi'lek boy and brace against the wall. Howzer realized then that he was shaking uncontrollably, and as his eyes found the nauseating mess of what was left of Sprint's upper body, he felt as though he was going to be sick.

"Trooper!" came a voice from behind him, but Howzer didn't move. The same steps, the same doorway that had saved his life had killed Sprint. He felt as though he should be feeling so much more, but there was nothing but empty, immobilizing shock. A hand on his shoulder jostled him, and the voice repeated, "Trooper! You alright?"

Howzer finally turned to see a clone with maroon-accented armor -- General Windu's battalion. He shook his head, taking a moment to find his voice. "Sprint is dead under there. Two more back over there. There's one more alive, back in the clearing, and this kid's family is back there too." He recited the facts dully, as if they were rote historical facts.

"Scroller? With the broken leg? We got him. Let's get this kid back and we'll get you cleaned up."

Howzer straightened slowly, beckoning to the Twi'lek boy and moving as if in a trance. Picking up Sprint's helmet on the way, he led the child to the stairway, opening the door and showing him the family below, who screamed and cried in relief at the sight of the boy. Howzer returned to the scout, who led him to the LAAT in a nearby clearing. Scroller's leg had been immobilized, and a few helmets were gathered in the corner on the floor.

Howzer took his own helmet off then, placing both his and Sprint's in the pile and mustering all his strength to stand and grab hold of a strap instead of collapsing onto the ground as the ship took off.

Chapter 15: Transitions

Chapter Text

19 BBY - Ryloth

"Are you listening to me, handsome?" asked a thickly-accented voice, smooth as silk. Howzer snapped back to the present, running a hand absently through his hair and focusing his eyes back on the beautiful Twi'lek in front of him. The music came roaring back into his consciousness and he fought to remember what they had been talking about.

"I'm sorry," he answered, shaking his head pathetically. He dropped his eyes to the bar counter, absently drawing circles with his finger, searching for anything else to say to remedy the situation.

"Well," the Twi'lek laughed, "You could have just said my story was too boring." She tilted her head to the side, smiling at him suggestively.

"It wasn't boring," Howzer began, drifting off again. Some days were harder than others, and it had been a long week. He usually kept to himself but had sought out a noisy local cantina tonight in the hopes of drowning out his thoughts. Apparently this female was looking for some company, or at least a listening ear, and had been regaling him with tales from her childhood.

"Okay, okay," she said, putting her hands up in surrender, "Let's just say you're not the chatty type then, eh?" She sidled a bit closer, placing a hand on his shoulder plate. "Would you rather explore some possible activities that don't involve talking?"

Howzer's eyes rose back to hers, honey brown meeting stunning green. She was draped in baubles that tinkled and sparkled with every movement, lekku wrapped in ornate leather straps. He offered a small smile, reaching a hand up to take hers from his shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze, then politely returned it to her side.

"I'm not the type you're looking for," he said.

She pursed her lips in a mock pout, crossing her arms across her sparsely covered chest and stomach. "Well this is a first," she purred, dropping her hands to her hips. "I'm insulted."

"Heyyyy, honey -- if that blind old bat doesn't see the good time in front of him, I sure do!" came another clone voice, as Hangar sidled up beside her. "Don't bother with him; he's an old crust bucket these days."

Howzer smirked, eyes roving to Hangar. He offered a helpless shrug, rising to his feet and dropping a credit on the counter. "Have a good night," he offered, giving a little two-fingered salute before sauntering toward the door.

***

"Ready, Captain? We mustn't keep our guests waiting," Cham Syndulla asked, heavy sarcasm accompanied by an eyeroll.

"Yes, sir," Howzer replied, straightening the teal pauldron on his shoulder and picking up his helmet, fitting it over his head.

When they arrived at the building site, they were greeted by a handful of Imperials and the garrison of clone troopers that had accompanied them. Syndulla strode purposefully toward the group, flanked by Howzer on his right, offering an abrupt nod of greeting. The head Imperial was a short, round, middle-aged man who came up to Howzer's shoulder; he had slicked back blonde hair and piercingly blue eyes. He was attended by a few architects and engineers, as well as his assistant, a woman with short dark hair whose eyes were buried in her datapad the whole time.

"Cham. Good to see you. Your support is critical to ensuring a peaceful transition for Ryloth in these turbulent times. I'm Moss Gowden," said the head honcho, sticking out a plump hand. Cham shook it as briefly as he could without being impolite.

"We have been through a number of peaceful transitions," Cham replied evenly, and a tiny smirk danced at the corner of his lips.

"Of course you have," Moss answered without really listening, "This doonium mine and refinery will be a great asset to your people. It will provide jobs and economic growth, and it will give Ryloth its own special way of contributing to our new Empire. Not only that, but as an Imperial protectorate, your planet can enjoy peace and prosperity."

"That is all we want," said Cham. "Let's go ahead with our tour." He stepped forward, followed by Howzer, but Moss held up a hand.

"It may be best to keep these matters just between us," Moss said, eyeing Howzer and the other clones emphatically.

"Captain Howzer is as essential to smooth procedures as I am. He goes where I go," Cham insisted, and Howzer met Moss's hard gaze with a raised chin, expressionless behind his helmet. What he didn't see was the dark-haired woman's head jerk up from her datapad, eyes wide behind thin-rimmed glasses, looking him up and down with a furrowed brow.

"If you insist," Moss sighed, motioning to the rest of the group to stay put, "Let's go."

The Imperials stayed in their little cluster as Cham and Howzer followed Moss Gowden toward the mine. Howzer scanned the group as he passed by, eyes pausing for a moment on the woman. Her short hair was in a messy faux hawk, short on the sides and tousled on top, and she stared at him through her spectacles. He felt thrown off for a moment, either because she looked familiar or perhaps because she was looking at him so intently, but he shook it off and continued on his way.

***

The dark-haired woman rubbed her forehead, elbows on her desk. It was one of those days that seemed best spent in unhealthy introspection, wondering how she got to where she was. Her eyes roved around her office, sparsely furnished, with virtually nothing to distinguish it from anyone else's. It was dimly lit, and her chair creaked as she rocked mindlessly. She was interrupted from her morose reflection by the sound of the door creaking open.

"Aurelia," said Moss Gowden, sauntering in the room, "Pining away for me as usual, I see." His voice was as greasy as his hair, and his Imperial uniform strained at the buttons.

"Oh, you know it." Aurelia returned dully.

"Hey, don't be like that -- I've got a job for you!" Moss said. "Another weapons shipment was stolen from the cargo bay at the refinery. I think it's those hoodlums again. Syndulla claims to know nothing of it except that there has been an increase in pirate activity in this sector, but I want you to have a sniff around. Talk to his men and the refinery guards; try to get some insight of what really happened."

"What am I looking for, exactly?" Aurelia was always given odd jobs; she wasn't even clear what her actual job title was, other than to follow Gowden around and do his bidding. It also included putting up with a hefty amount of innuendo from him, which she had been used to from the bar, but she had just hoped for more when her parents told her they had gotten her an Imperial job. Once she got over the initial sting, of course -- they hadn't minced their words when it came to their disappointment over her firing from 79s, nor had they been shy about sharing precisely what they thought about her aspirations for her life.

"Just gather everyone's account of what happened and we'll see if there are any inconsistencies. We can review them at the end of the week, in my office. I'll bring a fizz; we can have some fun with it," Moss said, arching an eyebrow at her. She groaned inwardly but put on a stiff smile.

"I'll see you later," Aurelia said, picking up her pack and heading for the door.

Chapter 16: Suspicions

Chapter Text

The "investigation", if it could even be called that, was a tedious affair of hearing the same story eighteen times and having to pay attention closely enough to see any discrepancies. Aurelia tried to make a game of it by speaking with an increasingly thick accent throughout the course of each interview, but the cargo bay guards were either completely oblivious or couldn't have cared less.

"Might as well have interviewed droids," Aurelia muttered, heading back to her office. She perked up, however, as she remembered the rest of her job -- following up with Syndulla's men. She could have sworn she heard him say Howzer, addressing the clone Captain he had come with, but with the helmet it was impossible to tell. He had said he was being sent to Ryloth, however, and she didn't think the clones' nicknames overlapped too terribly often... She was surprised to feel a bit of anxiety beginning to churn in her stomach. Why? It had been over two years since she had fallen for that plucky young clone only to be embarrassed and rejected. If anything, she should feel angry, or perhaps even proud... of what? Her fancy Imperial job? She chuckled dryly, muttering to herself as she trundled down the hallway toward her door.

A sudden movement in front of her interrupted her grumbling monologue and she tripped over her own feet in her startled reaction, thumping against the wall to her side and flinging her hands up in some kind of pathetic reflex that made her look more like a blurrg than any sort of competent opponent. The sound that escaped her throat was equally as embarrassing, some kind of gurgledgahhkk!that just really accentuated the whole performance.

She could have sworn she heard a quiet chuckle as the clone backed up a few steps, hands up in surrender. He had been leaning on the wall on the far side of her door, and had stood straight to greet her as she drew near. But, lost in her rambling as she had been, she had been entirely oblivious of his presence, until now, as she glared up at him from her crumpled lean against the wall.

"Kriffing Hutt-spawn," she breathed, pushing herself upright and righting her crooked glasses. Her shoulder bag had slipped down to her elbow, and she shuffled it back to its place as the clone stood patiently before her. "I didn't see you there."

"I... apologize," the clone said, the same voice she'd heard so many times before, all alike in their slightly robotic tone through their helmets. "I was told you wanted to see me."

She looked him up and down, noting the teal accents on the armor -- a color she hadn't seen before -- as well as the pauldron on one shoulder. He had a quiet dignity about him, an unrushed sense of confidence... or was it cynical resignation? Hard to tell through the white shell that encapsulated him.

"Howzer?" she whispered, feeling her heart racing in her chest. She tore off her glasses, and recognition blossomed across his face.

"Aurelia?" he answered, voice quivering with emotion. He pulled off his helmet, revealing the mess of hair that had always been so comically endearing, and she was reaching for his smooth cheeks before she realized what was happening.

"I can't believe it's you!" she said, drawing close.

"I'm so sorry, for all of it. I've loved you since they day I left you. I never stopped thinking about you," he said, voice husky with emotion as he dropped his helmet to the ground.

"Prove it," she gasped, as he moved in for a kiss and she turned her face up, eyes fluttering closed.

"Ma'am?" The clone's voice shook her out of a daydream that she hadn't even realized she had entered. He was still waiting outside her door as she stood there with her hand on the wall, eyes on him but hand mindlessly roving around for the keypad for the door. She cursed herself inwardly, wondering what the kriffthatwas, and pushed it out of her mind to address the situation at hand.

"Sorry," she said, finding the button and smashing it to bring the door open with awhoosh. "Please, come in." She entered her office, dumping her bag in the middle of her desk and taking a seat behind it, trying to maintain the slightest shred of dignity. Howzer stood in front of her desk, hands folded behind his back.

"I just needed to ask you what you knew about the shipments to the refinery, and any issues that you've been having with pirates or anything else. We've had another cargo delivery that was stolen, and we're trying to get to the bottom of it. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Aurelia continued, feeling torn between wanting to stare at him and also not wanting to look at him at all. She was wildly distracted by the flurry of contradicting thoughts and feelings that she had no time to process.

"Go ahead," the clone said.

She went through her list, hearing about half of what he said, making notes on her datapad for later review since she was engaged in a mental wrestling match with two seemingly oppositional inclinations. If it were Howzer, the same one from Coruscant, why would that be a good thing? He represented a huge source of pain and shame for her, and it had taken a while for her to get over it but she had indeed moved on, chalking it up to youthful naivete. But then what was all this excitement she felt, accompanied with warm and fuzzy memories of sitting against the fallen tree by the pond? It didn't make any sense. She tried to stifle it all, but was unsuccessful, so as she neared the end of her questions, she decided to give in to her curiosity.

"Would you be more comfortable with your helmet off?" she asked nonchalantly. "I'm sorry, I should have invited you to remove it from the beginning. You don't have to keep it on around me."

"I'm alright, ma'am. Thank you."

That was unexpected, but she had already come this far. "Would you take it off? It helps... the investigation... to be able to see your face..." she fumbled, trying not to cringe outwardly.

"As you wish," Howzer answered, leaning his head forward to pull off his helmet. He stood straight, meeting her gaze as he tucked the helmet neatly under his arm. "Any other questions?"

"Ahh, uhh... Erm, yes," Aurelia said, reading off the last bullet point on her list before looking back up at him intently. Her heart sank with a disappointment that she hadn't anticipated as she took in this clone's face. Yes, they were all the same, but they really weren't. She had come to appreciate the unique spark of each one that had frequented 79s. She knew it had been a few years, and the clones aged more rapidly, but this one could not have been more different than the "shiny" she remembered.

He didn't have messy hair, but rather had a distinct undercut -- longer hair tousled back on the top and short and faded down the sides of his head. His face was weathered and significantly marked by a large scar on his cheek that was complimented by another small one on his chin. He had none of the bravado or enthusiasm that she had remembered, but rather was steady and dignified. And, most notably, not at all interested in her. Definitely not the same Howzer. She sighed, tuning in to the end of his answer and making a few notes on her datapad.

She finalized the report, switched off her screen, and took off her glasses, setting them to the side on her desk. Standing up from her chair, she gave a polite bow of the head, opening an inviting arm toward the door.

"Thank you for the information, Captain. We appreciate your cooperation."

He stared at her for a moment, then nodded and headed for the door. It whooshed open in front of him, and he paused, turning back to face her.

just look at that sexxy boi

Chapter 17: Tentative Curiosity

Chapter Text

Howzer stretched on his bunk, rolling his head side to side, slowly working out the kinks of another night spent on a flimsy sleeping pad. He was replaying the conversation from the day before, relishing the complete and total shock on her face as the door closed behind him. He had felt bad about that whole situation for a long time, and it had eventually subsided, blending into the rest of his memories, swirling records of ambition and misdirection, triumph and failure. He certainly had never expected to see her here, however, and felt mildly resentful of the sense of regret that it stirred within him.

He sat up, swinging his knees over the side of his bed and getting up in one fluid motion. With a sharp exhale, he began getting ready for the day, resolving to leave this all behind him. It was in the past, and honestly felt like a completely different life. There was no point in dwelling on it.

Picking up his helmet as his final step, he looked at the teal accents he had added on either side of it. His mouth set in a firm line, he paid silent respects to Sprint, then pulled the helmet on and made his way to the exit of the barracks. Syndulla was off-world, so his duties were straightforward -- keep an eye on the Imperial activity in the capitol and summarize pertinent details to share upon Cham's return.

He took off for the main square at a brisk pace but hadn't gone more than a few steps when a hand touched his elbow. With a quick turn of the head, he saw Aurelia standing next to him, a smile on her face that looked like a painstaking attempt at casual politeness.

"Hi... trooper. Er, Captain," she said, pulling her hand back from his arm to give a self-conscious wave.

"Howzer," he said, stopping to face her, "What, you're going to pretend like you forgot my name now?" He gave her a small grin, but his jab felt empty -- not at all like the boisterous playfulness she remembered.

"Why didn't you tell me it was you from the start?" Aurelia asked bluntly, "You knew the whole time?"

"I don't know; what would have been the point? I didn't want to impede your investigation," he said, with just enough emphasis on the last word to give it a slight tinge of condescension. She squinted, trying to figure him out, and he continued, "Plus, I didn't think you'd be dancing in the streets to know it was me."

"I mean..." she started, searching for a legitimate answer and coming up with none. "Yeah..." she finished lamely. "I guess we didn't part on the best terms."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Howzer said, suddenly removing his helmet and lifting his chin to meet her eyes with a serious expression. "That was... pathetic. And immature. I know you didn't want to hear my apology back then, but you still are entitled to hear it now. I don't expect anything, just wanted to clear the air... You deserved more than that."

She was taken back by his sincerity, dropping her eyes to the ground in response to his directness. His scars accentuated the solemnity of his face, and he stood with a self-assured maturity that was palpable. She had played the scenario out in her head many times, if she ever were to see him again, and this is definitely not how she had envisioned any of them. "It's okay," she said dismissively, "You were young..."

"Youth isn't an excuse for idiocy," he remarked, tilting his head.

"Well, it's not an excuse, but the two sure do seem to go hand in hand more often than not," Aurelia quipped dryly, trying not to focus on how the sunlight caught his eyes.

He chuckled, a short little exhale that was disproportionately rewarding, before shifting his weight to one foot. "Did you need something?" he asked.

"Oh, uhh," she said, looking down the street. "No, actually. I just wanted to see you, once I realized it was you... But I don't know why. I mean, not that there's no reason, but... Well no, there's no reason, but... oh kriff." Where was the wisecracking bartender that had been able to catch and return any jab anyone had ever thrown at her?

"Okay..." Howzer said, a little more softly. "Well, I'm walking to the square if you're headed that way."

Swimming with relief at his clever navigation out of an awkward situation, Aurelia fell into step beside him as he put his helmet back on and began down the street. Buildings rose on either side, bustling with vendor carts in front of them and various flags and clothing items flapping from balconies above. Species of all kinds roved here and there, but primarily the crowd was made up of the native Twi'leks and the occupying humans.

"What have you been doing here?" Aurelia asked, attempting a normal sort of interchange for once.

"I'm Cham Syndulla's Captain," Howzer answered, "So I do whatever he needs when it comes to managing all the Imperial activity. Before that, it was the Republic activity. Before that, it was Separatist activity. New day, new overlords, you know?"

"I see. I mean, the Empire is different, at least -- now we can finally have some sort of peace and stability for a while."

"Peace?" came the slightly loud response, and Howzer stopped in his tracks, facing her again. "Does this peace feel different from the 'peace' we had with the Republic? What were you just investigating? A weapons shipment... Why all the weapons? They were just supposed to put in the refinery, to 'bring economic prosperity'. Instead, it's a constant stream of troops and weapons. Doesn't look like peace to me."

"Ryloth is an Imperial protectorate," Aurelia answered, taken aback by his sudden vehemence. "They're bringing all of that in to keep you safe!"

He looked at her for a moment, gaze hard, a litany of responses swirling in his head. But he didn't even know what he believed about it anymore, and instead took a deep breath, grounding himself in the things he did know: "Well. My job is to keep the people of Ryloth safe."

"And that seems to be going well," she said, a genuine attempt to smooth things over. She was both confused and surprised by his suspicion; she would have assumed that he of all people would have been grateful for the Empire's attention to his planet and their desire to bring order where there had been chaos.

"Mm," he responded shortly, any further thoughts cut off by the arrival of a squat little man.

"Aurelia!" said Moss Gowden, smiling at her politely. "What are you doing out here?"

"Finishing my investigation," she said quickly... Almost too quicky. Howzer turned to look at her.

"What a good girl," Gowden crooned in a tone that made her stomach turn, "Wonderful. Why don't you bring your findings to my office and we can dive right in. Have you eaten?"

"No," she began, "But--"

"Perfect!" he interrupted, "Come on then." He placed a hand on her lower back, almost too low, and with an odd sense of ownership, Howzer noted. "If we finish early, I might have some other things we could do." He gave Howzer a quick nod and turned to steer Aurelia toward the street with him before she could get another word out.

***

Chapter 18: Foundation

Chapter Text

Howzer and Aurelia found their paths crossing more often than they had anticipated, as their duties revolved around the same areas... Cham Syndulla was a primary leader of Ryloth throughout the Clone Wars, and even as the Empire had quickly replaced the Republic, it was still a continual transition from Separatist occupation to Republic annexation to Imperial protectorate.

The doonium mine and refinery was a hot spot of Imperial activity; they seemed to be obsessed with getting as much doonium as possible, for whatever huge projects they had going on. Twi'leks and other species from all over were being brought in as "employees", though the circ*mstances of their employment seemed awfully suspect of being closer to slavery.

Howzer had been tasked with keeping an eye on the Imperial activity and reporting back to Cham, who was navigating a tricky path of politics and civil unrest. Aurelia, on the other hand, felt purposeless even in her Imperial position, as her duties seemed to mostly revolve around being Moss Gowden's personal assistant. He was a greasy sort of person who often said one thing and did another, and she was feeling more and more disillusioned with the whole thing as time went on.

However, the perk of the job was frequent encounters with Howzer, where they were able to have brief conversations under the guise of business. Aurelia was often dispatched to inspect the various "mishaps" that occurred, including a variety of thefts of Imperial shipments as well as entire groups of "employees" who would go missing. It was the same every time, though -- she would gather the information, which was sorely lacking in any real substance, and report it to Gowden, who would shrug and file it away to his superiors. There didn't seem to be any real concern, other than the loss of materials and workers, but it small enough and slow enough to avoid any serious repercussions.

It had been a couple of months of them working together, and Aurelia had to admit that she was finding herself enchanted with this older version of Howzer as much as she had been with the "shiny" from years before. He was simultaneously confident and humble, executing his duties with dignity and efficiency, but lacking all of the attention-seeking neediness of his youth. It seemed that his experiences had shaped him, and his battle-scarred face emphasized the solemnity of his current stage.

He was always polite with Aurelia but didn't seem to pursue her. He appeared to enjoy their conversations, and always had a particular warmth with her, but she found herself yearning for the playfulness they had enjoyed on Coruscant. She felt self-conscious, wondering if his interest in her had been thoroughly diminished over time, but couldn't shake her desire to see if that spark was still there, under the layers of maturity he wore.

Finally, she found her voice. One afternoon, after another "review" meeting at the refinery, Cham had dismissed Howzer for the day, citing a need to work things out with Gobi privately. Gowden shook everyone's hands and turned to Aurelia, asking if she'd be interested in a late lunch together.

"Ahh, you know, I've been feeling worse as the day has gone on... I was thinking I'd get some rest for the inventory check tomorrow," she answered, feeling a slight prick of apprehension at the flash of indignation on Gowden's face.

"Sure, alright. I can come make sure you're nice and comfortable..." Moss said, tracing a hand down her forearm. She hated it, but he had made it clear that rebuffs would not bode well for her employment, so she stood silently. Howzer's helmet tilted a bit, noticing the interaction from behind Syndulla.

"I wouldn't want you to get sick," Aurelia offered, keeping her face carefully neutral.

"Ah, it would be worth it," Gowden crooned, leaning in closer to her ear, "You're gonna give in someday, Aurelia, and realize what you've been missing." His breath was hot against the side of her face, and she leaned away a tiny bit, feeling a bit more courageous.

"No thank you," she said firmly, and turned to head toward the shuttle. Gowden glowered after her, following with a contemplative squint in his eyes.

Back in the capitol, Aurelia left the group in the square to head to her quarters. She didn't actually feel bad, but just didn't want to spend any more time with her boss. He gave her the creeps, and while he had never crossed a line, he was constantly pushing it, and she didn't trust that he wouldn't someday. She slipped into the building, made up of a bunch of apartments, and headed for the lift. As it slid shut, and she let out a breath of relief. Before the doors closed fully, however, a gloved hand slipped in the crack, sending them back open.

"Howzer?" she said in surprise as his armored form entered the lift with her, "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you got home safely," he answered, facing the doors with a straight back, a solder at attention. She felt a warmth blossom in her chest, smiling up at him, and when the lift arrived at her floor, he beckoned a polite hand for her to exit before him. As they approached her door and she retrieved her key card, he continued the formal facade. She hesitated, confused at the whole atmosphere of their interaction.

"Would you like to come in for a snack?" Aurelia asked, waiting with bated breath for his reply.

"Sure," he said, and she felt a disproportionate amount of delight as the door swung open and they strolled inside. Her flat was small and simple; it had a balcony with a view of the city, though it was mostly taken up by the various walls of buildings nearby. The morning had been sunny, but the afternoon had given way to a cloudy sky, painting everything in a grey blue light. The apartment had a small kitchen and living room, with one little bedroom down a hallway off to the right. The living room wall was a giant transparisteel door that led out to the balcony.

Once they were inside and the door closed behind them, Howzer's demeanor changed. He pulled his helmet off, shoulders dropping in relaxation. Glancing around the apartment, he set his helmet on a shelf by the door and ventured in a few steps. Aurelia dropped her bag on the kitchen counter, opening the refrigerator to see what she had to offer. Grabbing a myriad of snacks to lay out, she took one last searching look and smiled as she recognized a few bottles of fizz in the very back, pulling them out and holding them up to him.

"Heyyy, there's the stuff!" Howzer said, smiling and leaning against the counter next to her.

"Little throwback for us," Aurelia replied, passing one to him. He popped the cap off with a flourish. "You seemed so stiff on the way up... I was worried I had offended you or something?"

"Ah, I just didn't want to look suspicious, in case that creep Gowden was watching... although I suppose coming in might be suspicious in itself," he said, shrugging dismissively.

"Yeah... he's a bit of a womp rat," she admitted, grimacing at the mention of him.

"Why do you work for him?"

"I don't really know... My parents got me the job hoping it would lead to something important, which apparently is the only way to make them proud in life. But it seems like upward mobility only comes through shady means, and I'm not really interested in that."

"Yeah, well Moss sure seems interested. He touches you a lot," Howzer said, with a slight edge to his voice that made her wonder. Was that protectiveness? Jealousy on his part now? Either way, it felt good.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," she admitted. "Unless there's a bar here that needs tending... although that feels like taking a step backward. Aren't I supposed to be making some meaningful contribution to the world by now?" She hadn't anticipated the conversation taking such a vulnerable turn so quickly, but somehow it didn't feel awkward. She grabbed a bite of the snack nearest to her.

"Yeah, I get that," he commiserated. "All I ever wanted was to be a captain, and it's an honor to serve alongside Cham. I think he's got a good head on his shoulders. But every wave of new leaders, from the Republic to the Empire, has come in with a new agenda for Ryloth. We were put here to protect them from the Separatists, and now it feels like we're still all geared up for war even though we're supposedly under the 'peaceful protection' of the Empire."

"I thought the Empire was really going to get everything in line. All the talk about peace and order... I wanted to be a part of it. It seems like they're trying to do right by the people though, no?"

"You think so? You know the doonium mine and refinery here? That's going to bring all kinds of prosperity and economic wealth to the people?"

"Yeah... It's provided so many jobs!" Aurelia countered, starting to feel defensive at his accusatory tone.

"Jobs!" Howzer spat, standing tall from his leaning position, "Those so-called jobs aren't as voluntary as you think. I see them bringing in the people. They're filed in from the ships in lines, surrounded by troopers. Why is that necessary if they're there of their own volition? And they come in at night, shuffling in with their heads low. All to feed the Empire's endless appetite."

"Why don't you say something about it then, if it's so bad?" Aurelia asked, knowing the answer before she finished the question.

"What do you think they would do?" Howzer demanded, and she knew he was right. "Plus, who am I? I'm an asset, a piece of the military, to be used however they deem fit."

Aurelia sighed, having nothing more to say. She felt similarly trapped, but she had held out some semblance of hope that this new Empire would really turn things around. Taking another sip from her bottle, she motioned toward the living room, "Why don't we talk about less depressing things on our time off?"

"Fair enough," Howzer conceded, with a small smile once again. He ventured to the couch, reclining in the corner. He looked good on her furniture, she had to admit. She brought as many plates and bags of snack foods to the living room table as she could carry in one trip, smiling at him as he clapped in approval. She wanted to plop down next to him but didn't want to be too forward; she was still feeling her way around. Opting instead to curl up in the armchair, she invited him to fill her in on the years they'd been apart.

It felt like a few minutes later, but the cloudy sky had long been replaced by the darkness of night. Somehow, there was something that kept bringing them together, in a way that felt comfortable. Something under the surface, some kind of shared perspective... She couldn't quite put a finger on it.

He had shared the hard lessons he had learned -- the consequences of brash actions and his struggle with the loss of Sprint. There was a sense of regret, a sort of "why him and not me" that was more implied than stated directly. Aurelia could see the impact of these experiences on his personality. He had the occasional spark of passionate indignation or insistence, but for the most part, he was steady and insightful. She realized that she did slightly miss his playful flirtation, however, and wondered if it could be coaxed into returning or it was a relic of the past.

A momentary silence was broken only by the loud growl of a stomach, and they both chuckled, realizing the lateness and the fact that they'd completely skipped dinner. The snacks on the table had been thoroughly pillaged. Howzer stood, stretching his arms wide and arching his back.

"I should head back."

"Yeah, sorry it's so late! I can try to throw together something to eat if you'd like. I feel bad that I kept you from dinner," Aurelia said, feeling a bit embarrassed at her poor hospitality.

"It's fine, I'll grab something on the way," he replied, tilting his head at her. "It was really nice to catch up."

"I agree," she said softly, following him to the door. He paused, with it still closed, and turned back to her.

"I'm glad we keep finding each other," he said, regarding her with warmth and seriousness. She smiled, feeling more confident after their hours of soul-level conversation, and opened her arms, inviting him into a hug. His mouth curved into a small grin as well, and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her close. It would have been a delightfully comforting thing if she didn't feel as though she were hugging a turtle in its shell. She decided to take a risk, to open a door of sorts, by bringing up something from long ago.

"We never did do anything about that armor, did we?" She pulled away from the hug, grinning playfully in an attempt to lighten the mood in case the little quip didn't land. He laughed quietly, looking down at the floor before back up at her.

"No, no we didn't," Howzer admitted, reaching a hand up to give her cheek the tiniest stroke with the backs of a few fingers. That alone was enough to send tingles through her body, and she took an extra long blink to enjoy it. He dropped his hand, retrieved his helmet from the floor, and gave her one last smile before pulling it on and heading out.

Chapter 19: Rescue

Chapter Text

"Remember that time you tried to impress me by getting caught in the rafters of a Coruscant opera house?" Howzer said suddenly, as they were walking across the capitol square after a morning visit to the refinery. He had a bit of a twinkle in his eye, though his jab was so understated that it sounded more like a factual question than an attempt at a dig.

"Okay, it seemed like a good idea at the time," Aurelia cajoled, surprised by the sudden memory. "What, just feeling the need to rub my face in it again?"

He smiled, shaking his head, "No, actually. I wondered if you'd be interested in seeing a little place I've found here that I thought you might like."

She couldn't see his expression behind his helmet, but she felt flattered that he was thinking of her at all. Unable to resist a grin, she nodded as they walked toward her office building. "I'd love to. Where and when?" she asked.

"I'll swing by here when you get off work tonight?" Howzer suggested, as they drew to a halt at the double transparisteel doors to the offices.

"Perfect. Nothing like humiliation to finish the day off," she joked, beaming at him. He gave a little bow of the head, and they parted ways.

The afternoon was spent on tedious entries on her datapad. She wanted the time to go as quickly as possible, so naturally, it felt like it crawled at a painstaking pace. In an attempt to pass the time more quickly, she decided to go for a walk, use the refresher, and change into a more comfortable (and slightly more flattering) outfit in preparation for the evening. It was getting close to the end of her work day, and she couldn't deny the rising eagerness within. But upon her return, Aurelia entered her office to find none other than Moss Gowden, reclining in the chair opposite her desk with a small array of local foods spread across it. The smells were delicious, but his presence somewhat negated the delight.

"Excellent timing, my sweet," he said, brandishing an arm across the desk in a proud display. "I hope you're hungry! I know it's getting late, but we need to go over the final inventory numbers and make sure the import schedule is all lined up. So I figured dinner would make it more bearable. I hope you didn't have plans tonight."

"Oh, umm. Thanks," she said with a small, forced smile, taking her seat opposite him. She did still have some time left on the clock, but not enough for all that work, so she needed to figure out how to get out of this as quickly as possible. He took a large bite of something crunchy, a fried little roll stuffed with some meat and herbs, and she dug in, deciding the food was worth the miserable company. They ate with periodic conversation for a while, and she had finished her bowl of noodles when she reached across for the platter of vegetables. The movement made her head spin a little bit, which seemed odd. She furrowed her brow, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her forehead with her hands.

"Everything alright?" Moss asked, pausing with his fork halfway to his mouth.

"Yeah, I just got dizzy for a second," she answered, returning to lean over her desk. But despite her best efforts to ignore it until it passed, it only grew worse as they finished their meal. She blinked a few times, hard, realizing that her eyes were slightly unfocused as well. But for some reason, it didn't seem to bother her so much anymore. In fact, it was kind of funny.

"Shall we get to those reports?" came Gowden's voice, sounding almost as if they were in a tunnel. Aurelia giggled at the funny tone, and he tilted his head in affectionate confusion.

"Ah, forget the reports," she said, waving an arm in the air. "I think it's time for a nap!" she laughed, leaning back in her chair so far that she almost tipped over backward.

"What has gotten into you?" Gowden asked, laughing a little bit himself. He stood and walked over to take a knee next to her chair, placing a hand on her thigh... "You feeling a little silly tonight?"

"I guess so!" She looked down at him, realizing in that moment just how much his face reminded her of a fat little blurrg baby, and she giggled uncontrollably, pushing his shoulder with a hand and leaning forward. He mirrored her laughter, gently moving his hand up and down her thigh, and rose to his feet.

"Well, maybe the reports can wait til tomorrow," Moss said slowly, extending a hand to her. "I guess it's about time for you to be done anyway. Why don't we just have a little fun instead?"

She took his hand, rising to her feet, and the world rolled around her as though she were in the middle of the Akkadese Maelstrom. She stumbled to the side, laughing despite herself, and he caught her with a gropey sort of side-hug.

"Oh goodness, you're a mess," Gowden chuckled with a wide grin on his face. "Bet you're glad we had this couch put in your office now, eh?" He led her over to it, easing her down and sitting next to her. She felt a sense of alarm, but it was buried deep beneath layers of murky thoughts that bubbled effervescently in her brain. The couch was so soft, and she sunk into it gratefully, sprawling out in a most unladylike fashion.

But Gowden seemed to find it endearing, and he leaned in, tracing one hand up the back of her neck and the other on her thigh. She moved her leg away, but he followed. The warning bells were still ringing, but she felt as though her head were made entirely of clouds and she was on a little speeder bike flying through them without a care in the world.

"Can I help you feel better?" Moss asked, bringing his face close to hers.

"I'm just gonna sleep now if that's okay and do the reports in the morning and you can call me when you come in to work and we can work on them together cause it'll be good to do the work during the day cause now it's time to sleep," Aurelia murmured, head rolling from one side to the other. It was an odd feeling to be simultaneously heavy and fluffy.

"Oh, that doesn't sound like any fun. I have a better idea," Moss responded, using his hand on the back of her neck to bring her head to his, reaching his other hand to grab her by the waist. He brought his lips to hers, smushing them together with greedy lust, pushing his hand further behind her back and pulling her toward him. She attempted to protest, but it was no more than a mumble as he firmly pressed her neck, keeping her face close, and began exploring her mouth with his tongue.

Why can panic and elation feel so similar? Racing heart, adrenaline flooding, thoughts spiraling into chaos and silence at once... Aurelia pushed on his chest with her hands, straining against him, but he persisted, releasing her face to bring his mouth to her neck instead. She opened her mouth to yell, but he clapped a hand over it and only a little squeal escaped.

Just then, her office door slid open and the clone captain entered, taking in the scene through his visor. As Gowden leaned back to look at who it was, Howzer was already in action, taking three quick strides to the couch, picking the disgusting little man up by his shirt, and throwing him against the wall next to the door. Finding the sudden weight she was pushing against to no longer be there, Aurelia fell forward onto the couch, faceplanting in relief and giggly deliriousness.

"What the kriff do you think you're doing?!" Gowden yelled, scrambling to get to his feet. But Howzer was upon him, delivering a swift kick between his legs that produced a gratifying grunt of pain. He bent down, grabbing Gowden by the shoulders, and lifted him up, slamming him into the wall with just enough restraint to avoid knocking him out.

"I'll have you executed!" Gowden screamed again, greasy hair a wild mess, and a slightly spice-induced glaze over his eyes.

"You won't speak awordof this," Howzer growled, his helmeted voice impressively commanding, "And you will never touch nor speak to her again, do you understand me?"

"You have no--" Moss began, but was cut off as Howzer rammed him into the wall again to drive home the point.

"Do you understand me?" The voice was chillingly harsh now.

"Yes!" Moss yelped, and Howzer dropped him to the floor with another thud. "Crazy clone..." Gowden muttered. Howzer took a swing with all his force, straight to the side of Gowden's head, and he passed out cold in a crumpled pile.

Aurelia's face was sideways on the couch, having watched the whole ordeal with heavy-lidded eyes that were glassy and unfocused. She felt as though she were watching an old action holo, and she smiled and gave a little cheer as Howzer turned to her from the unresponsive figure against the wall. He pulled his helmet off, kneeling next to her and placing a gentle hand on her back.

"Are you okay? What did he do to you?" Howzer asked insistently. His eyes were large, eyebrows peaked in the center with evident concern.

"I dunno!" Aurelia slurred, bringing one arm up in a little half-shrug. "I'm just a silly little stargazer tonight!" She got suddenly serious, "But that was scary! Thank you! Not fun at all!"

Howzer furrowed his brow, lip curling in indignation. He had seen people on spice before, and this seemed to line up. Medical attention would create more problems than it would solve, and it was most easily dealt with by the simple remedies of rest and time. He rose to his feet, pulling his helmet back on, and dug through her bag until he found her key card.

"Can I pick you up?" he asked, returning to her. "I'm going to take you home so you can sleep it off."

"I don't know, big boy, can you?" she laughed, pushing herself into a messily seated position.

Without any hint of mirth, Howzer scooped her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her head against his chest plate, legs dangling past his elbow. Her sense of gravity seemed to be cutting in and out, and his firm grasp was the only constant in her tumultuous experience of reality.

"Whoo!" she said quietly, as he exited her office and headed for the lift.

The walk to her flat felt like a split second. The next thing she knew, the quick beep of the accepted key card reached her ears and the door to her home slid open. The familiar smell was so potent and welcoming, she took a deep, happy breath, nestling a little further into Howzer's neck and shoulder.

"Well this is just the best," she said blissfully, closing her eyes. "I mean, earlier I felt gross. But this is just what the doctor ordered." She giggled again, kicking her feet a little.

"I think he put spice in your food," Howzer said, heading for her bedroom. "You'll feel better in the morning, although you'll probably need a lot of water and a good breakfast." He gently lowered her onto her bed, pushing the covers back with his first free hand and easing her head toward the pillow. She nestled into it with a smile, eyes still closed, and he pulled the fluffy comforter over her legs.

"Wait!" she said, sitting up suddenly with such urgent clarity that it startled him. He took a step back, pulling his helmet off now that his hands were free, and set it on the dresser. She looked around the room quickly, eyes finding him after a moment. "Wait... Listen, you. I've wanted to ravage you against the wall since you teased me to at the opera house. And the way you threw Gowden up against it got me all hot and bothered cause I want that to be me. Er, I want it to be you. And no armor this time, I mean it," she rambled, pointing a finger at him with theatrical accusation.

Now he couldn't resist a smile, he and felt a little flicker in his chest at her intense yet inebriated stare. "Is that so?" he asked, maintaining a safe distance.

"Yes," she mumbled, flopping back onto her pillow and closing her eyes again. "You're the most beautiful clone there ever was."

Howzer laughed, thoroughly enjoying her spice-induced honesty. "Maybe I used to be," he began.

"No! You are! The haircut issss... sssexy!" she slurred, "And I'm gonna kiss every one of those scars on your face."

He felt a sense of desire rising from a deep place within, a stirring that was new and yet felt familiar at the same time. Running a hand through his hair, he took a step closer to give her a polite pat on the shoulder. "Well, I'll look forward to that, but for now you should get some rest."

"Stay?" Aurelia asked, opening her eyes to look at him earnestly. "I'll make it worth your while."

"I'm sure you would," he answered, "But not like this." He started forward, finding the sudden desire to place a kiss on her forehead, but stopped, considering it too risky to bring himself that close to her in the apparently voracious state she was in.

"Goodnight, Aurelia," he said, grabbing his helmet and heading for the door. "Tomorrow will be fun."

Chapter 20: Reckoning

Chapter Text

The insistent pinging of the datapad on her nightstand finally broke through Aurelia's thick sleep. She blinked blearily, feeling around for it in her morning stupor. Light was streaming through the windows and the sun looked as if it were almost directly overhead. Her head ached, and her stomach felt as though she were nauseated and starving at the same time. She finally found the datapad and brought it in front of her face, squinting to make out the words.

As the information sunk in, she dropped her head back to her pillow, casting the datapad off to the side. Fired. Dishonorably dismissed from the Empire. No chance to return. No recommendations for any future endeavors. It was a complete shock, but the process of thinking felt like attempting to wade through waist-deep mud. Why was she fired? She'd remembered being a good sport about Gowden's stupid dinner idea... and couldn't remember anything after that.

Since she had nowhere to be, she got up, used the refresher, closed the bedroom curtains, and flopped back into bed, falling asleep surprisingly quickly. She had a myriad of scattered dreams... speeder bikes over Coruscant, the foreboding lights of the doonium mine, her father reading poetry to her and her brother around a fire, clones knocking on the bar at 79s.

The knocking persisted, however, as she resurfaced into consciousness. It was still daytime, though the light had a distinctively more golden hue to it now. She trudged through the living room to the door, peeking through the hole in the middle and feeling a quick shock as she saw Howzer. She ran to the refresher, attempting to run water through her short hair to rid it of the undeniable flatness on one side and wild mess on the other. Another knock, and she ran back to the door, wincing at the throbbing it caused behind her eyes.

She hit the button and it slid open, allowing Howzer to stroll in, helmet at his hip as usual. He smiled, and she rubbed an eye with one hand, searching for any excuse for looking the way she did. She was still wearing her clothes from the day before, and her usual edgy fauxhawk was an asymmetrical billboard for the fact that she'd been in bed all day. Embarrassed as she was, she still felt happy to see him.

"Feeling better?" he asked, setting his helmet down and leaning on the counter nearby. "I was starting to think you weren't going to wake up."

She hadn't even looked at the clock, and a quick glance at a nearby appliance caused Aurelia's mouth to drop in shock. It was evening. "What happened?" she asked, turning to venture back to the living room and flopping onto the couch. "I got fired. My head hurts. I'm starving but feel sick. And you're here."

"I'm here," Howzer repeated, following her in and taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch. "And the firing isn't much of a surprise, unfortunately."

"It kind of freaks me out that I can't remember anything past dinner... Weren't we going to go see some cool place you found?"

"Yes... We were... But you decided to ingest a dangerous amount of spice, make out with your boss, get rescued by me, and then confess your raging desire for me." Howzer had clearly been waiting to drop this all on her, and he raised his eyebrows with a smirk as he watched her reaction.

"Wait..." she said, grimacing and clapping her hands to her face. "What?!" She looked up in surprise, as various phrases began to register in her brain. She didn't even know where to begin.

"Yep," he said brightly, folding his hands behind his head. "So I guess I'm just here to satisfy your all-consuming, carnal lust for me."

A hint of his old spark. She laughed at that, still reeling from the sheer weight of it all. It was too much to process to even feel as mortified as she knew she would later. "I do not do spice," she said, turning more serious, "And what the kriff did you say about my boss?"

"I assume he put it in your food, since there were dishes all over your desk when I got to your office. You were late to meet me, so I came up. When I walked in, he was..." Howzer paused, lip curling in disgust, "He was all over you on your couch. I pulled him off and brought you home."

"Oh Maker," she said, feeling waves of revulsion, horror, and fear wash over her. "I'm glad you came up when you did," she muttered, shaking her head as if to clear the memory that she didn't have. "He's going to come after me..." she said, looking back to Howzer with large eyes that gave away her apprehension.

"He's not," Howzer assured, "In fact, he's probably not going to be around here much longer."

"What? Why?"

"Well, it seems that he's been skimming off the top of a lot of the spice shipments that are supposed to go to the Pyke Syndicate. Who knew he was tied up that seedy underworld. But they definitely don't take kindly to anyone dipping into their goods, and they usually make quite an example of anyone who does, as a statement for any others who might try the same. They just so happen to have been tipped off about him this morning. If I know the Pykes, he'll be gone by sundown."

It was beginning to be all too much to take in, and she was only halfway through. The mirth and sleepiness was all wearing off, leaving only a gnawing anxiety that was growing with each passing realization of all that had transpired. Unbidden tears welled up in her eyes, and she brought her knees to her chest, hiding her face behind her hands.

He sat up, scooting closer to her, and placed a hand on her arm. "Hey," he said softly, "It's a lot, I know. I was furious when I saw what he was doing to you. I kinda kicked him around a bit." A small smile played at the corner of his lips, and Aurelia dropped her knees, instead leaning forward to find comfort against the base of his pauldron. He put an arm around her shoulders, waiting in patient quiet.

"I don't even know what to say," she lamented, "Thank you? And I'm sorry? And you didn't have to do all of that for me?" Her shoulders drooped as she realized that she was once again starting from scratch. Where would she go? Back to her parents in shame, probably, with no way of supporting herself until she figured something out. Right when things had really been looking up, and she'd been getting more and more time with Howzer...

"...And I saidwhatto you?" she asked, sitting up as she suddenly remembered that insanely important part.

"Mmm, yes, you described in some detail what you'd like to do with me. Or to me, more accurately," he said evenly, resting his arm across the back of the couch behind her. He had been looking forward to her reaction.

"You're joking," she insisted. "Please tell me you're joking...?"

"Nope."

"Son of a Hutt," she agonized, bringing a hand back to her face once again. She couldn't even look at him. "Do I even want to know what I said?"

"Oh, of course," Howzer answered, patting her knee with his hand. "You said you wanted to ravage me against a wall since our opera house adventure. Sounded like you had some pretty ambitious plans for that. And that you thought I was the prettiest clone ever made, and that you wanted to kiss all the scars on my face. I think that's about it. Oh, and no armor. You've really got a thing about this armor."

Aurelia was speechless. It was all true, but definitely not something she had envisioned sharing with him, especially not all at once, and not all right now. Her hand was firmly planted on her face, and she leaned back against the edge of the couch behind her in absolute misery.

"I mean, it didn't sound like such a bad offer," he offered playfully, an attempt to invite her out of her shell of shame that earned another groan from her.

"If you could just drop me into carbonite right now, that would be great," she said.

"I think I prefer you awake. But if you can't bear to look at me, I'll take off. You should have some food. I just wanted to make sure you were alive," Howzer said, rising to his feet. "Maybe try to sleep on your other side tonight... get a real hairstyle going on there."

A laugh broke out from behind her hand, and Aurelia slowly got to her feet, wincing at the dull pain echoing through her skull. "I guess I have some stuff to figure out," she said.

"I'll check on you tomorrow," Howzer answered, giving her a genuine smile before grabbing his helmet and slipping out the door.

Chapter 21: Fresh Start

Chapter Text

Aurelia woke the next morning feeling much better, save for the inescapable fuzziness that accompanies an excessive amount of sleep. There was nothing new on her datapad except a cryptic note from a sender she didn't recognize. Upon opening it, however, she felt a warm and fuzzy feeling as the words sank in.

——————————————
ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION//0600 HRS
Good morning. I hope your relentless thirst for me didn't keep you awake all night. Hope you're feeling better too. Little something on your porch for you. Meet me outside the barracks at 1900 if you fancy a walk?
CC-2420//END
——————————————

Feeling a bit more optimistic, as well as intrigued, she ventured to the door. It slid open to reveal a small, unmarked box. She brought it in to her kitchen counter, slicing through the string it was tied with, and peered inside. There was a container of cold caf, a bag of dried meat, some fresh fruit, and a small pile of flowers scattered throughout. They were brightly colored, some slightly smashed, and made a fragrant mess.

Her heart swelled in her chest. He had been slowly showing little glimpses of his old self, and she was hopelessly enraptured. But it was a beautiful thing because she didn't find herself longing for the Howzer she'd known before, rather finding it a whole new delight to discover the nuances of his maturity, growth, and complexity that had developed over the years. She wondered how things would have gone if he hadn't been shipped off right after he hurt her... but that was in the past, and she felt that his apology and subsequent behavior had smoothed it over.

Scooping the flowers out into a bowl, she poured water over them and set them on the bar counter before pulling out the rest of the contents. The caf was just the perk she needed and even more of a delight since she didn't have to make it herself. She enjoyed it over ice with her breakfast, gathering her thoughts. Feeling an odd sense of simultaneous sadness and hope, she sat on the balcony with her datapad, browsing local job listings in the hopes of finding something nearby. Everything was Imperial, however, except a dishwashing position at a restaurant in Lessu. It wasn't far from her home, so she marked the location and changed into her best clothes. It was worth a try, even just to stay near Howzer if she could. There wasn't much for her back on Coruscant but disappointed and judgmental parents. So even if it meant starting back at a mundane job, she wanted to give it a shot.

***

The interview seemed to go well, and Aurelia was instructed to wait for their decision. She was afraid to go near her office in case Howzer's guess about the Pykes had been wrong, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. Slipping into a local data center, she perused the HoloNet for any news of suspicious disappearances or kidnappings. None found. Doing her best to shove down the rising anxiety, she went home to get ready to meet Howzer, taking extra care to wash and primp up a bit. He was showing interest, though in a much more subtle way than the overt suggestions he'd made the first time around. She didn't want to scare him off, but felt an unsettling amount of attraction to him, and couldn't help but want to put her best foot forward.

***

"Well you look like you feel significantly better," Howzer commented as she rather sheepishly approached him at their appointed meeting time. She had remedied her two-day bed head and donned some comfortable adventure clothes.

"I do! That was a really sweet package, by the way. Thank you," she said, looking him up and down. "I see you dressed up for our date."

He tapped the ever-present armor plate on his thigh, "Well, you know how many options I have. And I see you've decided it's a date?" A small grin curved the side of one cheek, and instead of further teasing, he offered her an arm. "I guess I'd better be on my best behavior then."

Her heart did its customary flip at his closeness and touch as she looped her arm through his, unable to resist a positively beaming smile. It seemed they had both come a long way from their endless snarky quips, though they still surfaced every now and then, and they had settled for a more gentle and honest way of relating to one another. They set off down the street, away from the capitol square, and she noticed he was equipped with a backpack.

"Are you going to tell me what's on the agenda?" she asked, "And what's in the bag?"

"Just another victory," he replied cryptically, keeping his eyes ahead, "And my helmet."

Aurelia squinted in suspicion and settled to be surprised. They continued to the edge of Lessu, where the buildings were shorter, more spaced out, and eventually dwindled into the expansive forest that reached all the way to the mountain range. It was a balmy evening, the sort that would be oppressively warm if not for the gentle breeze bringing in some fresh, cool air. The forest was unique to Ryloth in that it was punctuated by random rock formations that rose above the tree canopy like bulbous towers, craggy and twisted, with bushes and little trees sprouting off of them. The sun was still a fair bit above the horizon, as it was nearing the longest day of the year.

They walked in silence for a while, neither feeling a need to break it, just enjoying the company and closeness. The forest grew thick around them, blocking out the sunlight except for rays that broke through the canopy and streamed to the ground in sparkling beams of gold. They came to a small clearing that ended at the foot of one of the huge rock walls, reaching up into the sky beyond their view. Howzer released her arm and reached for his belt, grabbing his blaster and fixing an attachment to the end before turning to her.

"You'll need to hold on to me, if you don't mind," he said quietly, opening an arm to her with a small grin.

"Bummer," she muttered in fake disappointment, wrapping her arms around his neck as he fixed a firm hand around her waist. Snug against his armor and held securely by his strong arm across her back, he aimed his blaster straight up, closing one eye, and shot a grappling hook out of sight. With a satisfactory click, he confirmed its safety, then with a nod to her, flicked a switch on the blaster handle, sending them both streaming into the air. Aurelia couldn't hold back a gasp as they swung high up the rock wall and dropped smoothly onto a ledge that was far too narrow for any rational person to safely stay on.

"I thought the goal was adventure, not incapacitating panic," she said, holding tightly to him even though they'd landed. He freed the hook and gave her a little squeeze.

"Not there yet," he said, aiming again at another rock formation across the small valley that lay between. Another swing, this time with her eyes firmly closed, ended with Aurelia setting foot on solid ground. She opened her eyes as Howzer put the equipment away, facing an opening in the rock wall in front of her. She didn't want to look at what was behind, but took a risk and peeked over her shoulder. Her stomach immediately informed her that it was a bad choice, as the forest floor stretched out for miles below them. It was beautiful, but the sheer height of their perch was difficult to relax on.

Holding out his hand, Howzer smiled at her thinly veiled panic. "It's okay, we won't be near the edge anymore. Almost there."

She took his hand, tingles flying up to her shoulder, and followed him into the opening. It was a narrow passage with light coming from the other end, and a short walk revealed their final destination: a natural rock formation that created a balcony of sorts, hedged in by small bushes on either side, and slightly tilted back toward the wall behind them. There were piles of boulders forming steps, which Howzer guided her up, revealing a perfect seat to recline against. He dropped his backpack now, extricating his helmet and a large blanket, which he set up against the wall to create a cushion before sitting on it, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Take a seat and enjoy the view," he invited, and she quickly complied, scooting up next to him with a delighted anticipation at their close proximity. She looked out at the scene before them and took in a sharp breath. The sun was lower now, with creamy golden light bathing the forest and rocks in a comforting glow. The entire vista stretched to the mountains, capped with snow and standing guard at the far end of the horizon. A colorful flock of long-tailed birds flew by, reflecting the sunlight off their vibrant red and gold feathers. It was the most beautiful sight Audelia had ever laid eyes on.

"You already won the sightseeing competition," she said, unable to tear her eyes from the mountains. "Now you're just rubbing it in."

Howzer chuckled, producing a small snack bag and a canteen from his backpack. "The tower on Coruscant had an amazing view, but the park was the place that I always felt different in. Even in my youthful obnoxiousness, that seemed to be the one spot I could relax in. I explored around Ryloth a lot after Sprint died, because I wanted to be alone. This became that sort of place for me here."

She turned to him and was met with a surprisingly intent gaze that sent a shiver down her spine. His large eyes caught the light of the sun, delighting her with the flecks of gold in his honey brown irises, and his mouth was set in a straight line. She searched for words but found nothing but a yearning desire to kiss him, to cradle his face and run her fingers through his hair. Just his presence felt electrifying, and his seemingly restrained, cordial behavior was both mystifying and alluring. She swallowed hard, grateful for the distraction of the snack bag being extended to her.

"It's beautiful," she finally said, taking the bag with a dip of her head.

"I wanted you to see it," he continued, lifting an arm to put it around her shoulders. "It felt like you and Sprint were the only ones who really saw me. I didn't realize it then." She nestled into his side, bumping her cheek clumsily into his shoulder plate and rubbing her face self-consciously. He smiled, rubbing his hand gently up and down the outside of her upper arm. She felt as though she would burst; all the worries of her uncertain future melted away in the beauty and comfort of this surreal setting.

"I felt lucky that you let me in," she admitted, giving him a little nudge, "I mean, the best-looking clone in the Republic is a hot commodity."

"Heh, I sure thought I was," he chuckled, leaning his cheek against the top of her head. She took a deep breath, soaking it all in, and realized she was completely infatuated. His scent was intoxicating, even the hint of his breath. His voice was smooth and lightly accented like all the clones, but it held an extra layer of... something. She couldn't put a finger on it. Maybe she was imagining it. Either way, she was coming to terms with the fact that she desperately wanted all of this man, and desperately hoped he would feel the same about her. It seemed that way, but she didn't want to get ahead of herself. Her pondering was interrupted by his question, moving with his jaw against her hair.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Life."

"That's very specific."

She laughed, "I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't want to go back to Coruscant. I can't work for the Empire. I interviewed to be a dishwasher today but am still waiting to hear."

"You'd want to wash dishes?" he asked, with a slight tone of surprise.

"I... I want to stay here," she said softly, hoping she didn't need to explain further.

"Mm," he rumbled in understanding. "Well let's see how things go."

The sun had dipped below the mountains, splashing the horizon with brilliant colors that were further accentuated by the wispy thin clouds streaked across the sky. The breeze had a bit of a chill to it now, and Aurelia curled her knees to her chest to hold in some extra body heat. Howzer reclaimed his arm, sitting up to pull the blanket out from under him, and wrapped it around her front, then, to her surprise, pulled her legs across his lap and returned his arm around her shoulders, resting his other arm across her knees to hold her snugly against him. She nuzzled her face into his neck, wanting to drown herself in the smell and touch of him, feeling absolutely content and electrifyingly exhilarated at the same time.

"You never get cold?" she asked, feeling the heat radiating from the top of his neck that peeked out from his black turtleneck base layer.

"The phase two armor is thermoregulated," he answered. "So not unless the temperatures are extreme."

"Does it feel weird to wear it all the time?"

"It's all we've ever known. We've only taken it off to shower and sleep since we were cadets, so at this point it feels weirder without it."

"Makes sense," she mused, tipping her head back a little to see the side of his face. His sharp profile was captivating, accentuated by the teal pauldron across his opposite shoulder. The scar on his cheek nearest her was a large splotch in the middle with a few curves coming off it; one reached toward his eye, the other toward his jaw, with a little offshoot toward his nose in the middle. She lifted a finger to it, gently tracing it from top to bottom. He shivered subtly at her touch, and she smiled, thrilling at his reaction that was so similar to hers.

"You never told me how you got these," she said quietly, brushing the backs of her fingers across his entire cheek, down his jaw, to the matching scar on his chin. He turned his face toward her and her stomach flipped.

"I made some brash and stupid choices, and got a Twi'leki spear to the cheek that sent me face-first into a rock. Possibly some brain damage too, but it doesn't seem that's the case."

"Well let's not assume too much," she said, smirking playfully up at him.

His lips curved into a smile, and he gazed down at her suddenly with a fondness and simmering desire that made her melt. He lifted his hand from her knees to her cheek, sitting up straighter and looking back and forth between her eyes. His warm hand cupped her face, thumb gently brushing her cheekbone, and his gaze dropped to her lips. She didn't realize she'd been holding her breath, and opened her mouth to take a quiet breath in.

He leaned in, bringing his face within inches of her own, and she thought she might explode. He paused, as if checking for permission, and she moved forward a tiny bit, using all the restraint she had to keep herself from closing the rest of the distance. His hand slid lightly down her cheek, around her ear to the back of her neck, and he brought his mouth to hers. His kiss was unfathomably tender, lips soft and silky against her own, and her heart leapt into her throat as her eyes closed. His arm was so strong around her, holding her close, and his fingers reached up into her short hair as he tilted his head a little further. It felt like an both eternity and a split second when they separated, and he leaned his forehead against hers, dropping his hand to her knees and keeping his eyes shut with a smile on his face.

"It seems you've been practicing," she whispered, and he let out an exhale of a laugh.

"Just on the mirror," he said quietly, voice slightly husky, earning a giggle from her at the mental image of that. The sensation of his lips were seared into her mind, and she took a deep breath, soaking it all in, never wanting to move. He pulled back a few inches, slowly opening his eyes. Their gazes locked, and Aurelia smiled gently, searching for anything to say that could convey the depth of her feelings in that moment. But the evening breeze picked up, blowing their hair across their faces and bringing a chill along with it, and Howzer looked up at the darkening sky.

"It gets pretty cold up here, and both gutkurrs and lyleks come out at night... We should head back," he said with a regretful sigh.

"Only if you promise to do that again," she said softly, "As soon as possible."

"I think that could be managed," Howzer answered, giving her cheek one last lingering caress.

Chapter 22: Comfort and Provision

Chapter Text

The next few days floated by as if in a dream, with Aurelia finding herself replaying that sunset evening over and over in her mind. She could still feel his lips on hers, and she tried as hard as she could to imprint it in her memory forever, knowing that the sensation would soon fade. As fate would have it, Howzer was dispatched to the far side of the planet, accompanying Cham on some business with an unruly bunch of locals who were trying to take matters into their own hands more often and more obnoxiously. His absence was exacerbated by the fact that she had virtually nothing to do to occupy her time.

Somehow, she hadn't even been found desirable enough for the dishwashing job at the local restaurant, which was a blow to her confidence that would have been more impactful if she hadn't been carried by the delight of her time with Howzer. She continued to peruse the job listings, searching for anything that wasn't Imperial that would allow her to stay on Ryloth. Time was ticking, however, and she felt the urgency rising.

A sudden knock at the door startled her, and she nearly dropped her datapad. Casting a quick glance at the chrono, which informed her it was a bit past time for lunch, she peeked through the hole in the door, heart thrilling when she recognized the teal green accents on clone armor. She punched the keypad as quickly as she could, smiling broadly as the door whooshed open and Howzer stepped in. She could barely wait to throw her arms around him, but something about his demeanor gave her pause, and she watched closely as he slowly pulled off his helmet.

"What's wrong?" she asked upon seeing his face, downcast and heavy. This was not the reunion she had expected, and she found her mind racing with a million panicked thoughts of ways things had gone wrong between them somehow.

"The Empire. The locals. All of it," Howzer said quietly, still not meeting her eyes. She beckoned toward the couch, following him toward it and sitting opposite him with trepidation, waiting for more. Finally, he spoke, "They executed an entire group of Twi'leks."

"I'm so sorry," Aurelia breathed, reaching a hand forward to place on his knee.

"They weren't even adults," he continued. "Some were, but it was mostly a bunch of unruly adolescents who thought they were doing the right thing. The Imperials labeled them as traitors and terrorists. Thenshot themin cold blood. No trial, nothing. Just dead." His voice was thick, and she could see a glossy sheen over his eyes. There were no words that would suffice. She got up, moving to the floor next to him, taking his hand in hers and leaning her head gently on his arm in solidarity and comfort. His fingers entwined with her own, holding them tightly.

"Sprint gave hislifefor one little Twi'lek boy. He died protecting him.One child," Howzer reminisced, voice cracking in the middle. "And the Empire murdered an entire group of them forsuspected insurgency." The final two words were spat with such vehemence that Aurelia looked up to his face in surprise. His eyes brimmed with tears, and he turned away.

Picture this precious, sweet, heartbreaking face, only Howzer. :( <3

Aurelia couldn't fathom the things he'd seen, the things he'd been through. She yearned to comfort him, but serious words had never been her strong suit. She rose to her feet, turning to gently sit on his lap, hoping it would be well-received. Still staring off into the kitchen, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning into her chest to rest his head on her collarbone. She cradled his head in her arms, pulling him close, feeling her heartbeat quicken despite the solemnity of the moment, and gently stroked the side of his cheek with a thumb. He let out a deep sigh, grounding himself in the rhythm of the thumping of her chest and the subtly floral scent of her soap.

They said nothing for a moment, holding each other in grief and solidarity, before he spoke, pulling his head back to look at her, "It's just hard when you've been made for only one purpose, supposedly, and that purpose starts shifting under your feet."

"Perhaps there was a singular intent in your creation, but I don't believe for a minute that you have only one purpose," she replied, touching his face with one last tender caress before dropping her hands to her lap.

"Mmm," he rumbled, looking down and shaking his head as though he could brush off the weight of the world. "Anyway... That's actually not why I came by today."

"Oh?"

"I've got some news for you, if you'd like to join me on a little walk."

"It doesn't have anything to do with you being restationed, does it?" she asked, unable to hold in her concern.

"No," he smiled, encouraged by her plain affection for him, "It has to do with keeping you around."

* * *

"An infirmary?" Aurelia asked, as they entered the front door of the care unit of Lessu. "Are you having me reconditioned?" A smile and an elbow to the chest plate brought a little smirk to Howzer's face.

"Not yet, but I'll keep that in mind for down the road," he returned playfully. "Actually... I talked to Cham while we were gone, and it turns out they could use some help here."

"Here?" she asked, processing his words slowly, "But I have no medical knowledge! I'm a bartender... an assistant... I'm useless in this vicinity." She felt the insecurity and insufficiency rising so strongly that the gratitude for his actions hadn't even settled in yet.

"You're able to stay calm under pressure, and you aren't sickened by the less-attractive side of bodily functions," Howzer pointed out, "Or should I puke on your shoes again?"

"That's unnecessary!" Aurelia laughed, "But I don't--"

"The position comes with a wealth of training and support," he interrupted. "They need all the help they can get with the increase of... conflicts..." The last word was breathed with a sad sigh. "You will get experience treating both humans and Twi'leks, as well as any other species that finds itself here. It pays well, includes a housing stipend, and... it will keep you around. If you're willing, that is."

The realization dawned more fully on her, and she paused, turning to face him with a sudden sense of overwhelm, "You did all this for me...?" She was used to getting by on the feeling of being tolerated, not pursued. Her family had made her feel acceptable at best, a disappointment at worst... This was a new sensation, and the fact that it was coming from this beautiful man was almost too much to register.

Howzer shifted from one foot to the other with a trace of sheepishness, "Well... They need the help... and..." He lifted his head, looking at her with sudden confidence, "And I like having you around. I would like you to be in my life as long as possible, Reli." His straightforward assertion and the use of her nickname carried more weight than she had anticipated, and she was somehow feeling flattered, embarrassed, enamored, and giddy all at the same time.

Aurelia threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him as tightly as she could until his armor dug into her. Recovering quickly from her quick movement, he gently brought his hands to her back, feeling his own heart swell within his chest. Giving an apologetic look to the Twi'lek growing impatient at the front desk, he leaned his head against Aurelia's for a moment before releasing her.

"Let's get you settled in," he said, smiling as she beamed up at him.

Chapter 23: Passion and Perspective

Chapter Text

"Iagreewith you, Gobi! We are on the same team! But you have seen the ruthlessness of the Empire, and we have to weigh the risks versus the rewards!" Cham said vehemently, feeling his temperature rising.

"If we do not make a clear statement, the Imperial presence here will continue to grow. They must be stopped before they become too powerful!" Gobi responded, baring his teeth in frustration.

"They are already too powerful; direct resistance is only going to cause more needless death. Can't you see that? From what's happened already?" Cham sighed, rubbing his knobby forehead in his hands. "We have to consider the best tactics for the long run."

"The longer we wait, the longer we go back and forth in weak-minded indecision, the deeper their roots grow here. You should have never let the Republic settle in."

"You seem to forget that they helped us recover Lessu, as well as a variety of other villages, and rid our planet of the Separatists, at great cost to their own!"

"And then they got quite comfortable and changed into the Empire overnight!" Gobi spat, pacing back and forth. The meeting room was cramped already, but the overbearing presence of two passionate Twi'lek males in conflict made it feel infinitesimally small. Howzer stood in the corner, helmet at his hip, mouth firmly shut in patient respect. He was no stranger to these sorts of "discussions", but the frequency and intensity had grown as of late.

"Listen, brother," Cham began again, quieter now in a tone that extended a diplomatic olive branch, "I will continue to fight for a free Ryloth as long as I live. We are stronger when we are unified. Let's not be broken apart by strategic differences."

"You are the one refusing to do what's needed," Gobi answered, disappointment and sadness in his voice. "Let us hope the desire for peace does not come at the cost of our freedom." And with that, he exited the room, accompanied by a glowering female accomplice. Cham let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples. Eleni approached from the shadows, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

"You are doing the right thing, my love," she said softly, taking his hands in hers and pressing her forehead to his. "You carry the weight of the planet on your shoulders." The tenderness and intimacy in her words and touch made Howzer feel a sense of yearning that surprised him in its potency.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore," Cham confessed, closing his eyes and nestling closer. "It was so much simpler when we could just be warriors. Now I must be a diplomat as well, and it seems that no one is able to be satisfied."

"You can't make everyone happy," Eleni pointed out, pulling back to look him in the eye. "But you can continue to fight for the freedom of our people." She traced a hand up his arm, bringing it to rest on his shoulder, and tilted her head to lean in for a kiss. Howzer looked away, still noticing Cham's shoulders relax out of the corner of his eye. They separated, and Eleni leaned toward his ear, whispering none too quietly, "Besides, you make me happy, if that counts for anything."

Cham smiled, observing her with unmistakable adoration. "I don't deserve you, my love," he said in a stronger voice, "Hera doesn't know what an incredible mother she has." The two touched foreheads once again, enjoying a quiet moment once again, before heading for the door, with a helmeted Howzer trailing behind.

* * *

The evening found Howzer and Aurelia relaxing in the same way they had for the last number of weeks since she had begun her medic job. The barracks were bare-bones as far as comfort, so Aurelia's apartment became their place of rest and connection. They'd venture out into nature on a regular basis, as the weather allowed, walking and talking together, but when the duties of life began to weigh heavily, simple evenings wrapped up together on her couch, watching the sky grow dark, were the pastime of choice.

Howzer had been relatively restrained in his affection -- such a drastic contrast to the playboy persona he had put forward in his youth. It seemed that war had shaped him in such a way that choices were made slowly and carefully, although once his intentions were set, he was invested wholeheartedly. Aurelia considered it an incredible honor to be let into his heart over the last few months, and his steady presence had become a foundational aspect of her life. She was grateful for his faithful affection and protective provision, as well as being hopelessly lost in an all-encompassing sense of infatuation.

It was one of the cooler months on Ryloth, and the sun spent less time in the sky each day. Night fell earlier and earlier, bringing with it a distinct chill, and Aurelia freed herself from Howzer's warm embrace to fetch the large, fluffy blanket from her bedroom. Bundling it in her arms, she returned to the couch, which had been moved right up against the transparisteel wall of her apartment, where they could watch the stars and speeders cross the sky and talk about the world. Finding Howzer on his feet, she made a mock pouty face.

"Are you heading back already? It's a bit early, no?" she said, heart skipping a beat at the calm, slightly crooked smile on his face.

"No... I just had a few things on my mind," he answered, clasping and unclasping his hands together.

"Oh, going to make a speech, are you?" came the playful reply, but Aurelia's bubbly mood was quickly toned down by the seriousness on his face. He stepped closer, taking the blanket from her hands and putting it on the couch before standing straight in front of her. He took her hands in his own, gazing intently into her eyes. The tenderness between Cham and Eleni was fresh in his mind from earlier that day, and he was finally finding words that had been simmering under the surface for a long time.

"I've been thinking," Howzer began, brushing her knuckles with his thumbs. "We have one life in this galaxy... and mine is even shorter than most. All my life, I've wanted to make an impact, and I thought it would be in some big, monumental way. But sometimes I wonder if a mundane life of goodness can be just as impactful. Sprint always used to tell me that it wasn't about the power or esteem, it was just about doing the right thing... Anyway," he paused, brow furrowing with effortful thought, "That's not really... I mean..."

His flustered vulnerability was irresistible, and Aurelia released one of his hands to lift hers to his cheek, stroking it gently, which drew his eyes back to hers from their searching on the floor.

"I want to show you how I feel about you," he attempted, "Our time together over the last year or so has been an incredible gift. It's not something I ever want to toss aside or take lightly. I've been trying to figure out how to communicate that to you."

A shiver ran up her spine as Aurelia pondered his words. This was music to her ears, no doubt, as she had greatly enjoyed the snuggling and kisses of the last few months, but she also couldn't deny she had a deep yearning for more. Whether for lack of words or for the defense mechanism of turning to humor in heavy situations, she gave him a playful smirk.

"I can think of a few ways," she said suggestively, accompanying it with a wink to keep the mood light.

"Heh, I think you already showed your hand there," he chuckled, "Although you've been remarkably restrained, if you've been dying to push me up against a wall since that night with Gowden..."

"Ugh, don't say his name," Aurelia grimaced, shaking her head to rid the room of the mere thought of him.

"Right, sorry... Anyway..." Howzer continued quickly, tilting his head. "I don't really get to enjoy the same sort of life that you do, but with what freedom I do have..." he paused again, taking a deep breath. His honey brown eyes were pools of emotion, outlined by his sharp eyebrows. "I hope this doesn't scare you off, but... I'd like to spend the life I do have... with you."

Aurelia found herself shocked at the sheer number of thoughts that could occupy her mind at the same time. Did clones get married? Was that a proposal? Was she reading into it? Was there a question there? Was it too fast, or too much? Or was it something that set her heart on fire at the deepest level and invited her to dive in with her whole being? She opened her mouth, then closed it, swallowing hard. Her eyes darted out the window, looking for answers in the stars.

"Shoot," he began, clenching his teeth in a self-conscious look of embarrassment. "I apologize. I'm not quite sure what I even--"

"No, wait," she interjected, taking a step closer, "It means the world to me." She cupped his face with both hands now, leaning in a bit and feeling a spark in her chest at the sound of his breath catching in his throat. "And I feel the same. I've been hopelessly under your spell since you swaggered into 79s, apparently no matter how many dumb things you did," she laughed, feeling his cheeks curve under her hands. "But the person you've become... who you always have been, inside... is beautiful. And I can't envision any part of life being better without you in it."

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding as she leaned in to kiss him, gently at first, then with more intensity and depth. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against his armor, head exploding with fireworks. When they separated, lips reddened and faces flushed, she let out a theatrical shiver, beaming up at him again.

"Was there a question in all of that, though?" Aurelia asked, feeling hopeful beyond belief all of a sudden.

"No," Howzer said, smiling knowingly, "Just wanted to see where we stood..."

"Ah," she said quietly, unable to deny the slight feeling of disappointment. She forced herself to think of the sweetness and vulnerability in his admission, settling to be content with that for now.

"But I did have something else to run by you," he continued, releasing her from his embrace and taking a few steps back. "You can stop me at any point if you wish."

Without waiting for an answer, and without breaking eye contact, he pulled his gloves off one by one, dropping them to the floor. He unstrapped the teal pauldron, pulling the straps from around his chest and under his arms, then released the shoulder bells from their connections to his breastplate, sliding them and the entire arm pieces down and off the ends of his hands. They hit the ground, and Aurelia's heart did a flip. She understood what it meant to him, how he was more comfortable in his armor than without it, and she found her mouth going dry.

The chest plate was lifted up over his head, and he looked down, as if assessing his own half-blacks and half-armored form, then returned his eyes to hers, a smoldering intensity in his gaze that could have melted Hoth. Slowly pushing one boot off with his other foot, then the same on the other side, he unclasped the utility belt and pushed the entire bottom half of armor down in one smooth motion, lifting his legs out of it all as it collapsed in a jumbled plastoid pile on the floor. Standing back up, he ran a hand through his hair, which had scattered across his forehead, and self-consciously pulled his black base layer free of anywhere it had bunched up, raising his chin to meet her gaze with an incomprehensible blend of sheepishness and confidence.

He looked smaller, without all the extra bulk of armor, and incredibly vulnerable. But his blacks were intoxicatingly form-fitted, allowing her to see the chiseled outline of his soldier body. She allowed her eyes to roam from the curve of his shoulders along the swell of his biceps, down to his waist where his fingers were nervously entwined with one another. Realizing yet again that her mouth had fallen open, she fought to keep a straight head in spite of the unrelenting tingles shooting throughout her entire body.

"I can't think of anything to say," she confessed, completely and utterly dumbfounded. She'd imagined him without his armor for so long, and yet hadn't ever actually thought about what she would do if he ever did remove it. He took a few steps closer to close the distance between them, and she could feel the warmth radiating off of him. His scent filled her nose, making her dizzy, and she closed her eyes for a moment.

"You don't need to say anything," he said, moving to place his hands on her waist, and the unexpected huskiness of his voice sent her over the edge. She put her hands on his arms, forcefully turning him around and pushing him backward toward the wall. He flattened against it with a clumsy thump, face shifting quickly from a flash of surprise to a darker, knowing smirk that gave her another boost of confidence.

Moving her hands to his chest, she reveled in the touch of his actual self, with nothing but a thin layer of fabric between them instead of chunky armor. Splaying her palms across his pecs and collarbone, she stretched up to kiss him on the mouth, urgently and intently this time. He wrapped one arm around her waist, flexing tightly, and swept the other up her back, cupping her shoulder. Their lips met again and again, mouths opening more, and his tongue tentatively traced her upper lip before gently meeting hers with sparks that exploded in her chest. She was completely adrift in her senses, savoring the touch and taste and smell of him, and he was equally lost in her, set on fire at the novel sensation of another body pressed against his own.

Her hands roamed from his chest down his sides, gripping his hips for a moment before pushing around to the back, flattening across the arch of his spine. Tearing her mouth away from his with a small gasp for air, she opened her eyes for a second, finding his, thrilling at the desire she saw in their chocolate-colored depths. She brought one hand up, gently peeling down the turtleneck top of his base layer to expose the rest of his neck. Her fingertips sent a jolt of electricity down his back, and his whole body felt electrified when she lowered her lips just below his ear. His heart was racing so quickly, he felt as though he might collapse, and his hands grasped at her back and shoulders more for support than for anything else. She kissed a trail from his jaw to his collarbone, earning an involuntary shudder as he tilted his head toward the opposite shoulder, eyes closed in blissful abandon.

"You can't do this to me," he whispered breathlessly as she lifted her head to bring her face to his once again. His eyes were firmly shut, eyebrows contorted, and she relished the effect she was having on him. He deserved it, after all the butterflies he had given her over the years, and she wasn't going to let him off the hook. Not to mention the undeniable yearning that had been growing in her chest for months now.

"Say the word and I'll stop," she purred against his mouth, gently moving her head back and forth to trace her lips across his own with a teasingly featherlight precision. One of his feet slipped out from underneath him slightly, causing them both to jerk in surprise as he dropped a few inches before catching his balance. They both laughed in relief, taking a moment to disentangle themselves and regain a full footing on both feet. Howzer took a deep, shaky breath, running both hands through his hair and leaving them to rest on top of his head, looking at the ceiling as though he'd seen a Nightsister. Placing one last pert little kiss on the scar on his chin, Aurelia flounced off toward the couch, grabbing the blanket that was no longer needed at all, flushed with heat as she was, and flopped onto the cushions with a satisfied huff, face and arm dangling off the side.

Howzer dropped his arms slowly, approaching the furniture precariously as though it might bite, and in one agile movement, climbed over her to wedge himself in between her and the back of the couch. He stretched out, wrapping an arm around her waist, and she quickly rolled to face him, nestling into his neck and chest and tucking her bottom arm between them. He lifted his top leg, and she nudged her own leg in between his, feeling as snug as she could imagine as he rested his leg on top. Snaking her top arm under his to drape it across his back, she let out a deep sigh of contentment. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, and he rested his cheek against the top of her head, heart still racing.

"Was it everything you dreamed it would be?" he asked, and she smiled at the sound of his voice coming from both his mouth and his chest, right against her ear.

"Was? I'm not done with you yet," she said playfully, giving him a little squeeze. "Just don't want you passing out on me."

"Ohhh," he breathed, attempting to sound mischievous but the slight crack in his voice betrayed his actual discomposure. "They didn't prepare us for this on Kamino, you know."

"I thought they taught you everything on Kamino. Didn't you offer to show me the world or something like that?" Aurelia poked, trying to remember his exact brag so long ago.

"I'm a fraud," Howzer exhaled, "You know that more than anyone."

"I don't think so," she returned, pulling her head back to see his handsome face, "But I'll give you a break to recover."

*excuse me while I go fan myself*

Chapter 24: Blowing Off Steam

Chapter Text

Howzer's walk home that night was particularly chilly, but he didn't feel a thing, buoyed as he was by the absolute elation coursing through his veins. The door to his quarters slid open, revealing a stark, cold, empty little room with the basic necessities. He had come to love this simple little space of his own over the last few years, but now it felt lonely compared to the warmth and comfort of Aurelia's. It wasn't unusual for clones to find respite in the arms of another, but the concept of any kind of long-term domestic life was simply impossible. Yet watching the tender intimacy between Cham and Eleni as they pursued a shared vision together had left a distinct impression on him.

He loved his post. His brothers worked together like a well-oiled machine, providing a sort of diplomatic interface between the Empire and the locals. He found himself considering future options, then chuckled to himself, realizing that the only freedom he would experience was in the time between shifts, or on the rare chance that he would be put on leave. Other than that, he was property of the Republic. Or the Empire. Or whoever was pulling the strings, deciding where and how his life would be spent. So, any free will could only be exercised in those precious hours off.

The thoughts continued as he finished his nighttime routine and flopped onto his thin mat, feeling his resolve settle on a path forward.

* * *

"Come on, Captain. It'll be fun!"

"Don't bother with him, Steady. He's a stuffy old loner these days."

"What'd you say?!" came an identical voice from across the barracks.

"Not you, Loner!"

"Listen... It's Evo's last shift before he's promoted to his fancy new post. It would mean a lot to him. He's been part of your squad from the start," the first clone said again, putting a hand on Howzer's shoulder. "Besides, where are you always off to? You're not in your bunk..."

"Alright, Steady, alright," Howzer cut him off, "I'll be there."

"Ha! Told you, Demo!" was the triumphant proclamation.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Demo muttered, still waving off Loner's piercing glare.

* * *

"That sounds fun!" Aurelia said, surprising even herself with her enthusiasm.

"Really?" Howzer asked, smiling in delight, "I figured you'd had enough of those days."

"Well, anything is more fun with you involved, and I've always enjoyed hanging out with the clones."

"Anything, eh?" he grinned, "I'll remember that for later. But I'd love it if you came. I haven't told the boys anything about us, because we're not really supposed to do this sort of thing, but they've all broken those rules in one way or another... But you might get some flak."

"Just like old times," Aurelia chuckled, more to herself than to him.

"Notexactlylike old times," Howzer corrected, rubbing the back of his neck. "But anyway... I'll see you there after work?"

"Sounds good," she replied, yearning to give him a goodbye kiss but deterred by the flurry of people around them. It was lunchtime in the capitol square, and everyone seemed to be shifting from morning duties to afternoon. So with a simple nod to each other, they parted ways.

* * *

The music thumped as species of all shapes and sizes gathered in the local cantina, where the atmosphere was infectiously jovial -- the celebration of the end of another week of work. Not that it mattered to the clones, for whom every day was the same, but the locals were always particularly enthusiastic before their rest days. The building was well-lit and spacious, with a variety of high-ceilinged rooms and areas for groups to gather, supported by a perfectly circular bar in the middle that fueled the good time. A small band played on a raised stage in the center of the bar, above everyone's heads, and warm golden lights were scattered throughout the rooms. It was reminiscent of 79s and yet totally foreign at the same time, yet the general purpose was the same.

Aurelia was late. She'd been assisting a surgery that took twice as long as expected due to the medical droid damaging a servo partway through. She didn't want to show up in her work clothes, however, so still made the trip home for a frenzied refresh. She found herself feeling nervous, wanting to put her best foot forward in front of Howzer's squad. Flashbacks of his embarrassment at being seen with her came to the surface, but they no longer gave her the turn of the stomach that they used to. But she still found it difficult to be fully confident in his affection; she just had never seen herself as much of a "catch", for whatever reason.

But none of that mattered -- bringing herself back to the present, she opted for a dainty floral dress, a slightly uncharacteristic choice, but it made her feel more feminine, and accentuated what little figure she did have. Her short hair was growing out a little bit, giving her a curly sort of bob, which she pulled back from her face a little bit with a ribbon.

The cantina was impossible to miss, as its crowd spilled out onto the street in front of it. Conversations and scuffles, laughter and hollers... Aurelia wove her way through to the door, searching the room for Howzer. She had never ventured in before, and she was immediately assaulted by an incredible variety of sights and sounds.

A short Rodian immediately approached her, putting a hand on her elbow and saying something. His bulbous eyes were galaxies of their own, and his tiny mouth moved closer to her ear as he continued. It was impossible to discern what he was saying, with all the noise, and she smiled and shook her head, still craning her neck to try to spot one special clone. The Rodian was not to be dissuaded, however, and followed after her, tugging on her arm. She felt the anxiety beginning to rise when suddenly she spotted some familiar white helmets in one of the conversation areas, and made a beeline for them.

But as she charged straight into the living-room sort of space they were in, she realized that Howzer wasn't there, and she was instead met with a handful of similar faces all looking at her with expressions from delighted surprise to judgmental confusion.

"Can we help you, ma'am?" one of the clones asked, watching the Rodian continue to pester her.

"I'm not sure what he wants," she said pathetically, "He's not speaking Basic."

"This one's for you, Evo," the clone said, beckoning to one of his brothers, who rose to his feet and began speaking just as quickly to the insistent green creature in his native language of Rodese. Two green hands went up in the air, waving back and forth, and he finally turned and went out the front door.

"He was absolutely convinced that he was supposed to meet you here tonight," Evo said, returning to his couch. "Did I just get rid of your hot date?" he said with a smirk.

"No," Aurelia laughed, looking around at the squad nervously. "I'm just... uh... hanging out tonight." She realized she didn't know what Howzer had told them, if anything, and didn't want to offer more information than was necessary.

"Well pull up a chair!" said one of the clones. He had the standard military haircut but a bold, thick mustache that moved when he spoke to give his words a bit more dramatic flair. "Evo here is enjoying one last hurrah before he's shipped off to fame and glory. Maybe you could dance for him... give him a good time, you know?"

Aurelia's cheeks flushed bright red as another one spoke up, "She just walked in, Demo! Give her a break!"

"She'd be lucky to land a guy like Evo! I'm offering the chance of a lifetime here!" Demo replied, finishing his glass mug with a flourish.

"Thank you, Demo. I don't need the assistance," said the clone who was apparently named Evo. His hair was perhaps ear-length, parted perfectly off to the side and meticulously combed. He looked like he spent a lot of time on it each day, and Aurelia also caught a strong whiff of cologne. "You're welcome to join us, if you'd like, but I can't promise you'll be spared from... well, the boys," he jerked his head toward the rest.

"Uhh, thank you," she said, taking an uncertain seat while still looking around for Howzer.

"You're not gonna find anything sexier out there," another playful voice came.

"Not you too now, Steady."

"I leave for five minutes and you're already harassing the locals..." came that same-and-yet-not-same voice from behind her, and Aurelia whipped around to see Howzer approaching with a tray of drinks. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, scar-faced and weathered, with the depth of a lifetime in his big brown eyes. He gave her a quick grin and a wink as he passed the glasses out to his squad mates, then plopped onto the couch next to her.

His presence was a disproportionate joy, and Aurelia felt herself relaxing and enjoying the rest of the conversations, as the troopers poked fun at each other, interacted with random others in the area, and recounted their harrowing and glorious adventures. It was almost surreal, seeing Howzer in the element where they'd first met but acting so different this time around. He had an undeniable warmth toward his brothers, and a steady, calm presence of strength and dignity. Maybe she was a little biased, but he was nothing short of magnificent to her, and, she thought, completely smitten with her as well... she hoped.

She took a break to grab a fizz at the bar, scanning the establishment while she waited. It was a colorful assortment of characters, dancing and talking, with lots of Twi'leks mingling among the clones. There were even a few Imperials here and there, though they mostly kept to themselves with a conceited sort of air about them. Taking a sip of the bubbly bottle, she headed back to the clones just in time to see an Imperial officer leaning over Howzer's shoulder. Afemaleofficer.

"You want to tell me how you got those scars, captain?" she crooned, swaying over the back of the couch, her long braid falling over her shoulder from underneath her officer cap. She almost leaned too far, catching herself at the last minute with a laugh. Aurelia paused, feeling a paralyzing mix of awkwardness and jealousy and insecurity.

"It's not as exciting as you'd think," Howzer replied politely, shifting in his seat slightly away from her.

"You're too modest," she said, tracing a finger along the tip of his ear, which startled him and made him flinch minutely. "Oh, jumpy too, eh?" she laughed. Aurelia was suddenly overwhelmed with a strong desire to drag the officer right out the door by her braid, but also wasn't the confrontational type.

"Sorry -- ma'am -- I'm just here to celebrate my brother," he attempted, pointing to Evo who was triumphantly beating Steady at arm wrestling.

"Well let's celebrate!" she declared, sliding over the back of the couch and landing halfway in Howzer's lap with an inebriated giggle. The insecurity melted into indignant anger as Aurelia watched, still standing in the flow of traffic, but she had no time to process it with the rapid-fire events that followed.

Two Twi'lek females danced their way over into the center of their little lounge area, sparkly metals dangling and shimmering from their headdresses, halter tops, and waists. A couple of the clones gave a little cheer, while one in particular looked incredibly sour. One of the Twi'leks leaned over Howzer, right in between him and the Imperial, and spoke loudly.

"Move along, nice lady. The Captain is more than you can handle," she said, words unmistakable despite her thickly exotic accent. "Why don't you try one of the boys?"

"You can't talk to me like--" the officer protested, but the Twi'lek grabbed her by the arms and, in an incomprehensibly mesmerizing way, picked her up and danced her right out of the area.

"Go on, sweetie. Trust me," she said, giving the woman one last little push, "You don't want to come between a hunter and her prey." Baring her teeth in some kind of sexy feral display of dominance, the Twi'lek whipped around, nearly smacking the Imperial in the face with her lekku, and headed back toward Howzer, who saw her approaching and quickly rose to his feet and made a beeline for the back of the bar counter. She moved to follow him, but was mercifully intercepted by Demo, who waggled his mustache at her suggestively and patted the seat next to him. Apparently she wasn't too terribly set on her prey, because she happily took him up on the offer.

Aurelia found Howzer on the stool at the far end of the bar, near the back of the room in a quieter area of the large spherical area. The band still played, but the acoustics seemed to point the music more toward the front, so it was a blessed relief from the overstimulation. She slipped onto the stool next to him with a smile, trying to determine how to play this.

"If three-years-ago-you could have seen all that, he would have died a happy man," she poked, with a lighthearted pat on the hand. There was something nostalgic about connecting with him at the back of the bar, and she chuckled at the drastic difference of the circ*mstances.

"I blame you for that," he returned evenly, tilting his head at her. "It's like they know I'm in--"

He was cut off by an approaching figure: a woman in civilian clothes, dancing to the music and gesturing for him to join her. Aurelia's mind was a thousand steps ahead of her -- what had he been about to say? She felt jealous and angry, insecure and anxious, and wondered what she could possibly do to set herself apart if this was what he experienced on a regular basis. She glanced back at him and almost laughed at his expression: flustered frustration, utter bafflement, and sudden ingenuity.

He stood from his stool, moving right up against Aurelia, and tipped her chin up with one hand while wrapping the other arm around her. Before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her, and his hand moved back to cup the back of her head. After the initial shock, her hands slipped around his back, pulling herself close against the plastoid armor plates. He pulled away for a moment, casting a quick glance to the side where the disappointed woman was sauntering away, and Aurelia began to lean back as well.

"Oh wait, more are coming," Howzer said with overly dramatic urgency, and his lips were on hers again. Her head was spinning, but his closeness and scent and increasingly passionate kisses made everything else fade away. Her hands roved up his chest and wrapped around his neck, across his shoulders. He lowered his arms to her waist, pulling back a fraction of an inch.

"Are they gone?" he asked in a conspiratorial whisper, and she laughed as she turned to glance around the room. Before she could reply, his lips were brushing against her ear, his warm breath tickling and sending shivers down her spine. "Better just be certain..." he murmured, placing a kiss on her neck that felt electrifying.

"Oh I see how it is!" a male voice boomed, and Howzer retreated to look but left his arms firmly around Aurelia. "You pretend like you're not interested in all the ladies but here you are, hiding like a womp rat in the corner!" Steady stood before them, a teasing smirk plastered across his face.

"I'm not hiding," Howzer began, but Steady was boisterously clapping Aurelia on the back.

"Congratulations to you, my friend!" he proclaimed, giving Howzer a light punch on the shoulder as well. "This one's pretty mysterious and solitary though, so don't get your hopes up!"

Aurelia laughed, reeling from everything happening so fast, and nodded wordlessly. Howzer looked at her with an apologetic shrug and a glint in his eye as he spoke, "Sorry, I guess he's right."

"I'll take my chances," she quipped, smiling at Howzer before returning her gaze to Steady, who gave them both another slap on the back.

"Well don't say I didn't warn ya! Come on, Evo's gonna arm wrestle a Trandoshan!"

Howzer took Aurelia's hand, entwining his fingers with hers, and followed Steady back to the group. Evo was sitting opposite the giant lizard, who was hissing menacingly as he cracked his muscles. Demo was elbows deep in Twi'lek woman on the couch nearby, and Steady took a seat next to Loner, who, contrary to his name, was sitting close enough to watch the action.

"Look! Captain's got himself a little treat tonight!" Demo called out before a finger to his lips silenced him and he disappeared into a pile of baubles and lekku once again.

Aurelia stiffened, feeling numerous eyes on them, and tried to look casual. It wasn't until Howzer released her hand to put an arm firmly around her shoulders and regarded each of his brothers with a calm, even gaze, that she felt the tension ease up.

"What are we betting?" he said, nodding toward Evo, and the hoots and hollers began.

Chapter 25: Medical Practice

Chapter Text

The next week had painstakingly crawled by as Howzer had been off-world with Cham, visiting allies in a nearby system. He had left Aurelia with a cryptic message that had been consuming her thoughts, including at the most inopportune times as she was being provided with increasingly difficult opportunities to practice her medical skills. It was all under strict supervision and guidance, of course, but it's less than ideal to have one's mind wander when re-setting a bone.

"I want to take you somewhere special, and I have a question to ask you," he had said, refusing her attempts to wheedle any additional information out of him.

"You can't tell me you have a question that you aren't going to ask for a week!" she'd protested.

"Just think about your life, what you want and don't want... A little time of mid-life reflection, you know," he had teased, to which she had immediately spluttered her resentment at the phrase "mid-life". His face had grown thoughtful, though, and he smothered her with a kiss that left her breathless. His growing confidence and willingness to engage physically was a continual source of rumination and distraction for her as well.

She could hardly wait for his return, and as the day drew to a close, her heart leapt when she caught sight of him standing in the foyer of the medical center. Trying to check her enthusiasm, she gave him a polite nod in greeting, beaming uncontrollably. He held out an arm for her, his signature gentlemanly move that she had so fallen in love with, and they walked toward her place.

Immediately, she noticed he was walking rather stiffly, with a distinct limp. She stopped, turning to face him and look him up and down.

"What's wrong? What happened?" she asked, giving him a stern eyebrow to make it clear that evasive action was not to be attempted.

"Ah, just another day on the job," he responded, grimacing when she jabbed him in the armpit where his armor plates were spaced apart for movement. "Okay, we got in a little scuffle a few days ago. The negotiations became more physical than verbal once Gobi got involved. But it's nothing. I had my checkup, ma'am."

Laughing at his mockingly contrite tone, Aurelia took his arm and continued walking, "Some lucky doctor..." she muttered.

"The droid was clearly enamored," Howzer bantered, grinning at her shameless jealousy.

"Okay, so what's the plan?" she asked, trying to play it cool.

"What plan?"

"How dare you."

"What?" his face assumed an expression of such undeniably adorable innocence that she wanted to kiss him right then and there. "Oh! Yeah, we talked about going somewhere, didn't we..."

"I nearly fused someone's femur to their hip socket because I've been thinking about it all week," she admitted, in the hopes of him giving up the facade.

"Oh boy," he chuckled, "Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that it has to wait for the full moon. The good news is that the moon will be full in two days."

"Interesting," she said, stifling her slight disappointment. "But also probably good, since it looks like you could use a break." She nodded at his unwieldy gait.

"I'm fine," he insisted, as they stopped off at his barracks for him to pick up some fresh clothes.

* * *

A warm meal and a long, hot shower later, Howzer reclined on Aurelia's couch, gazing out the transparisteel panels. She wiped the last dish from their dinner, feeling markedly domestic and wondering at the reality of her life, then had an idea. She rummaged in the cupboard, finding a lightly-scented cooking oil, and headed for the living room.

"So... you know how the Twi'leks and humans approach medicine differently?" she began, remaining standing in front of him, relishing his relaxed approachability in just his blacks.

"I guess? We report to the Imperial facility, but I've heard they're more... eh... what's the word..."

"Holistic," Aurelia offered with a wink, "And I've been learning quite a bit in both realms... And I think I could help you feel a little better...But perhaps you're right and you're totally fine..." She showed him the oil in her hands, trying hard to come across as confident and foxy. He got a small grin on his face, unfolding his hands from behind his head and leaning sideways on the arm of the couch.

"I mean, I've been pretty sore... but it's nothing, really... it's just hard sometimes..." he said, arching an eyebrow and laughing at himself as he wavered between stubborn refusal to admit anything and the desire to play into her little game. "I mean, it can't hurt to try..."

"Sit on the floor and take your shirt off," Aurelia said, straight to the point, with an edge of playful suggestion.

Howzer tilted his head at her, smile growing larger, and instead stood up, his head reaching a few inches above her own, and stepped close, sending a tingle down her spine.

"I think I need some convincing."

Five minutes of passionate making out later, they pulled apart, breathless and flushed. Somehow Aurelia had managed to keep the oil in her hand, though they both had considerably different hairstyles. It was much harder to keep herself upright, but she had a vision in her mind and wanted it to come to fruition. She slowly set the oil on the nearby table, then, leaning in more slowly, she parted her lips and brushed them against his, feeling them open slightly under her own. But she didn't plant her mouth over his this time, but rather traced her lips back and forth. He took a steadying breath, bringing both hands to her cheeks, cupping her face and pulling back to gaze at her with a dizzying mix of desire and affection.

"I love you," he said suddenly, a slightly rough tone to his voice.

"What?" Aurelia blurted out, in shock and delight.

"I mean..." he faltered, lowering his hands to take her own, "I don't know if it's different since I came from a test tube, but... as much as I understand of it... I love you."

"Oh," she said breathlessly, completely taken aback and feeling the need to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. But the words were ready, as she gave his hands a little squeeze, "I love you, Howzer."

He closed his eyes for a moment, smiling as if basking in the moment, and when he opened them, she was lost in the abyss of honey brown admiration. Her heart thrilled in her chest, and she leaned up to kiss him fully again, pressing her mouth to his with the hopes that it would convey even more than words could. He let out a small sigh that somehow invigorated her, and she released his hands to grasp his upper arms, pulling him closer against her and deepening their kiss. Fueled by the intoxicating scent and taste and touch of him, she lowered one hand to the waistband of his blacks, slipping her fingers underneath his shirt to graze against the side of his abdomen. Now it was a sharp intake of air from him, as well as a slight stiffening of his back, that made his desire clear. She traced along muscles, skirting along the bottom of his stomach until he was nearly writhing, and he pulled his mouth from hers to gaze at her darkly.

"Arms up, trooper," she purred, startled momentarily by the gravelly sound of her own voice, slightly lower than usual. The corner of his mouth curved minutely, and he obediently raised both arms above his head, allowing her to pull the tight-fitting base layer up and over his head. He pulled one arm out, ridding the other of the shirt, and dropped it nearby on the floor. She bit her lip at the sight of him, reaching up to trace her fingers along his collarbone, down his arm, then back to his waist and up his abs.

"I feel better already," he murmured, leaning into her ear and snaking his arms around her waist. She laughed, tilting her head toward his face as his breath tickled her neck.

"This isn't what I had planned," she giggled, letting out a small gasp as he placed a gentle kiss, then a more suggestive bite into the curve of her neck. "Howzer!" she exclaimed, causing him to pull back in surprise.

"Sorry, too much?" he asked, but she shook her head, smiling.

"I'm not going to be able to do anything if you keep that up!"

"Well technically that'sdoing something," he pointed out, and she gave his arm a playful smack.

"On the floor, mister," she said, directing him toward it with a commanding arm. She longed to let that tiger out of its cage, but not now, not yet. Once again assuming a posture of submissive obedience, he followed her orders and sat on the floor in front of the couch, facing the window. She beckoned for him to move forward a bit, then slipped between him and the couch, propping her back up against it and splaying her legs on either side of him. He started to lean back against her, but she pushed him back up.

"Cross your legs, if it's easier to sit up that way, and relax," she instructed, grabbing the oil bottle and warming some between her hands. She started on the tops of his shoulders, slowly spreading the oil from his neck down to his arms, then back up, using long, firm strokes. He exhaled, head lowering forward a little bit, and she allowed her eyes to roam across his bare back, noting a number of scars of all shapes as well as a few fresh-looking bruises. Taking care to avoid them, she slowly kneaded and stroked his shoulders, the tops of his arms, and his neck, reaching up onto the back of his head, where the short stubble of his hair massaged her fingers in return.

"Thank you," he said, sleepily, as though it were all he could manage to say. She smiled, warming up a fresh handful of oil and gently spreading it down his spine, then across his hip bones. He breathed slowly and deeply, reveling in the incredibly tingle-inducing and rejuvenating sensation of her touch. She pressed her palms into the muscles on either side of his spine, gently stretching them, and eventually worked her way back up to his neck, tilting it to one side and cupping his head in one hand while slowly pressing along the muscle from the base of his skull down to his shoulder.

She repeated the process as long as she could, slowing to a halt only when her arms were burning with fatigue, and she reached around him to pull him back against her. He happily reclined, warm and relaxed, head in her soft little nook where shoulder meets chest. She wrapped her hands together across his chest, leaning her head against his own, watching the moonlit city before them and marveling at it all.

Chapter 26: The Choice

Chapter Text

The next day found Howzer practically sprinting back to his barracks as soon as he was released from duty. He gave himself a thorough wash, put on fresh blacks, and scrubbed his armor plates as best he could to rid them of the dust and scuffs of life. He felt as though he couldn't take a deep enough breath, and his chest was tight with anticipation, excitement, and nervousness. A short time later, as he waited for Aurelia to open her door, he chewed on his bottom lip, shuffling his helmet from one hip to the other.

The door whooshed open and the sight of her made his heart flip anew. Her soft curls framed an adoring face, and she looked like a breath of fresh air in a sky blue dress that made her dark eyes and hair stand out even more. He smiled, feeling simultaneously relieved and even more anxious.

"You are so beautiful," he mused, earning a blush and muttered comment of deflection from her. She took his arm and they were off. They wove their way through the city, Howzer taking her on a new path she had not seen before. It brought them to a secluded garden, surrounded by a large, ornate fence that depicted scenes from Twi'lek cultural history on broad panels. They entered through a filigree iron gate, Howzer setting his helmet down on a bench, and the scents and sights were a sensory indulgence that invited them both to take a deep breath.

A cool breeze seemed to come from nowhere, and the air was both fresh and moist in a way that was neither humid nor heavy. The variety of plants and flowers was incredible, and their light scents blended together in a way that was completely complimentary, creating a fragrant atmosphere that was sweet and uplifting. The silence was comforting and grew deeper as they continued in. They reached an intersection of a few paths, and Howzer stopped to face her.

"The Twi'leks have an ancient marriage ceremony called Jasshi'rr," he began, and her heart rate began to increase. "I don't know how they do it on other planets, but here it's a private affair. At the center of this garden is a skull, made of the crystallized ashes of a fallen Twi'lek hero of old. The skull is honored as both sacred and sentient, and when two come before it with the intention of becoming one, they are considered married."

Aurelia's mind was racing and she felt an intensifying thrill in her chest. She'd been pondering a lot, since his cryptic hinting before he had left, and if this was going where she hoped it would, she was more than ready. One of the paths continued toward the center, and the others branched off to the sides. She took Howzer's hand, "So you brought me here for a history lesson?"

"Not quite," he smiled, squeezing her hand, and turned toward one of the side paths, giving her a brief sense of confusion. They walked a few steps along the spiraling cobblestoned walkway until it bubbled out slightly in a circle, surrounded by one type of tree that was covered in large white blossoms. They had soft, rounded petals, many of which had scattered across the ground, and some continued to fall, creating a dreamy little illusion of snow. Howzer stopped, facing her again.

"You saw through to the core of me from the beginning," he said quietly, giving one of her cheeks a gentle caress with the back of his hand. "You saw something in me that even I couldn't articulate, and you drew it out simply by being who you are." Aurelia smiled, opening her mouth to reply, but he held up a finger, a warm expression on his face, and took her hand again to continue through the labyrinth. The nest open space was surrounded by thick vines, full of lush leaves that were magnificently flat and wide, and here Howzer paused again.

"You're intelligent and kind, insightful and witty," he continued. "You and Sprint have shaped my life in ways I can't fully express but am eternally grateful for. The fact that we found each other again is more than I ever could have wished." He kissed her hand, then kept walking to the next opening, which was filled with bushes that looked as though they were made of silver, yet they were impossibly light and wispy, shimmering in the sunlight.

"My life span is shorter than yours, and my path is not my own to choose. It feels selfish to ask anything of you, because I have nothing to offer. You would be sacrificing the best years of your life with no assurance of where it will lead or how long it will last," he said, voice growing thicker. He sighed deeply, taking her hand and continuing onward.

They rounded the final curve of the path and came into a slightly bigger clearing. There was a fountain against one wall, illuminated with an impossible spectrum of colors, and at the top of it was a large crystal skull, unmistakably Twi'lek in its elongated shape. It reflected the glowing hues from the fountain beneath, and the quiet trickle of water created a beautiful tranquility in the lush garden space. Aurelia looked up at it all, feeling so moved that she almost wanted to cry. Howzer stopped in front of the fountain and turned to face her again, taking both of her hands in his.

"I love you, Aurelia," he said, angular brown eyes brimming with emotion. "I would love to share the life I do have with you, and I would be honored if you chose to be mine. But I also understand if you don't want to commit to something like that. The choice is completely yours, and I will fully accept whatever you decide."

The incomprehensible beauty around her paled in comparison to the delight in front of her, and she squeezed Howzer's hands, overcome with too many feelings to process. She stepped closer, wrapping her arms around him and nestling her cheek into where plastoid plates met his turtleneck. He leaned his cheek on her head, and she smiled at the faint sound of his heart racing beneath his armor as his arms snugly rested around her waist.

"I love you too," she said after a moment, pulling back to face him. He was inches away, and the energy between them was electrifying. He was the best part of her life, and no matter what it entailed, she didn't want to choose anything else. It would surely end in pain and loneliness, but would she rather go through that now by forsaking him? She reached a hand up to run her fingers through his hair, down the side of his head, and ending with an adoring stroke of the scars on his cheek. "I'm yours as long as we live," she said quietly, eyes welling with happy tears.

The look on Howzer's face was unlike any she had yet seen... joy, relief, admiration, perhaps a tinge of sadness? She looked at him questioningly, but he smiled, shaking his head slightly, and leaned in to kiss her tenderly. She closed her eyes, feeling as though her soul was knitting together with his, and the sense of peace was palpable.

* * *

They both felt as though they were floating on the walk back to Aurelia's apartment, barely conscious of the quick meal they grabbed from a street vendor and ate along the way. When they got there, it felt as though they were entering it for the first time somehow. There was a new feeling of novelty on top of that foundational sense of intimate connection and familiar love. They stood in the kitchen for a moment, glancing from the floor to each other and back.

"Will you stay?" Aurelia asked softly, magnetized by the undeniable love in his eyes as their gazes met. In response, he set his helmet down to the side and began removing his armor again, and her heart leapt into her throat. When he was down to just his blacks, he raised his head to her again, a boldness on his face as he suddenly scooped her up in his arms, startling her into a laugh. She nestled into his chest, relishing in his strength and gentleness as he cradled her. When she saw that he was carrying her to the bedroom, the thrill and anticipation drowned out any sense of nervousness, and as he kicked the door shut behind him, she had never felt more content.

* * * I know I said this was PG-13 but I did write a wedding night scene here. Please do not interact if you are not of legal age. * * *

Aurelia woke early, when the sky was still glowing with the sun's imminent arrival. It took her a minute, but the memories of the last day and night washed over her with a fresh sense of awe. She was on her side, facing the wall, and rolled carefully onto her back, turning her head. Her heart thrilled at the sight of Howzer, sprawled on the opposite side, his bare shoulder rising from the rumpled blankets, slowly rising and falling with his breath. She couldn't believe all that had transpired, the delight of the night they had shared.

It had been unfathomably sweet and notably different than the few prior experiences she'd had. There was no selfish grasping for pleasure, no rushed pursuit of a singular objective that would end in a quick goodbye and an empty rest of the night. It was an incomprehensible mix of slow, loving entwinement, peppered with humor, where personal insecurities and lack of proficiency faded against the backdrop of comfort, intimacy, and security. They relished the connection, giving of themselves in a shared experience of worshipful exploration, alternating between tentative and passionate, bashful and confident.

She still felt sheepish about being seen in her morning glory, however, and snuck as quietly as she could into the refresher, fixing her hair and brushing her teeth for an extra minute. She splashed water on her face, gently rubbing away the puffiness of sleep, and as she ran a soft towel over it, she heard the door open behind her. Howzer shuffled in, unabashedly bleary-eyed, his hair in a disproportionately attractive mess. He wore only his loose shorts, and she made no attempt to hide it as she marveled at his form. He smiled as she traced her hands across his chest and shoulders, his skin impossibly soft from sleep, and he wrapped her in a hug that she never wanted to end.

"Think you can sneak off that easily?" he asked, in a slightly croaky voice that made her chuckle.

"I'm not sneaking off! I just wanted to spare you from morning breath," Aurelia admitted, pulling back to shrug sheepishly.

"I'm afraid that's something we might have to get used to," he answered, kissing the top of her head and pulling her by the hand back toward the bed. He climbed in, inviting her to snuggle up next to him, and wrapped his body against hers, putting an arm around, creating a warm, delightful cocoon. They drowsed together for a while, occasionally tracing fingers along an arm or face, a leg or shoulder, before it was time to get ready for the day.

Howzer felt immortal, content in a way he had never experienced and confident about the future in a way he never would have expected. He placed one last kiss on her neck, brushing her hair back, and murmured a few quiet promises of love before forcing himself to get up.

Chapter 27: Moonlight

Chapter Text

The next day floated by as though Aurelia were on a cloud. She checked the holonet no fewer than eight separate times to confirm that it was the full moon, finding her excitement growing with each passing hour. It was a light day at the medical clinic, and she filled her spare minutes with a variety of restocking, tidying, and cleaning tasks that had been piling up. Her boss noticed her voracious tackling of her duties, and when she sheepishly admitted that she had plans for the evening, he responded with a kind chuckle and an invitation to leave work early.

When Howzer trudged in, she was thoroughly primped up, beyond her usual low-maintenance style. He smiled, dropping his helmet and scooping her up onto the kitchen counter, pushing a single curl back behind her ear and giving her a tender, lingering kiss that sent shivers down her spine. He pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers, and muttered something in Twi'leki.

"What was that?" she asked with a giggle.

"Eh... it's something I've heard the locals say. Mostly Cham, to Eleni, when he thinks nobody is listening," Howzer murmured quietly.

"But what does it mean?"

"I... don't exactly know..." he admitted, large eyes drifting off to the side. Aurelia laughed brightly, feeling her heart swell in her chest at the endless delight that could be found in a single person.

"Wellmubasa fashasha beneto leekakato you too," she babbled, and his rumbling laugh was disproportionately rewarding as he wrapped her in a hug. When he pulled away, she could resist no longer, "Now where are we going?"

A glint appeared in his eye, and he waggled his eyebrows at her, "All I can tell you is that you can't wearthat."

* * *

One hour and a disappointing amount of clothing later, Aurelia found herself comfortably bundled up, standing next to Howzer at the edge of a large lake. From seemingly nowhere, he pulled out a heavy-looking wooden canoe that rattled to a halt at the edge of the water. He pushed it in a few steps, retrieving an oar from within it, then beckoned for her to get in. This was definitely not what she had expected, but the full moon bathed everything in an otherworldly glow that made the landscape look surreal. She climbed into the canoe carefully, feeling wobbly as it tipped back and forth a little bit, but as it glided onto the lake, she nestled into Howzer, sitting behind her, calmly paddling them out.

The night was quiet, punctuated only by the gentle chirps of a few evening creatures and the quiet lapping of the water on the side of the canoe. The steady dipping of the paddle was threatening to lull Aurelia to sleep, and as they drew near the center of the lake and Howzer tucked the oar in next to them, she curled up between his legs and leaned back against his chest. He removed his helmet, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and leaned back slightly to allow them both to recline and gaze at the sky.

"Okay, this was worth putting all these clothes on," she teased quietly, again enjoying his little chuckle in response.

"You're more than welcome to take them off if they bother you in the slightest," Howzer answered, laughing more loudly as she jabbed an elbow into his chest plate. The canoe rocked with the movement, and she gripped the sides automatically. "It's okay," he reassured, tightening his arms around her slightly, and she relaxed into his embrace. The water rippled out from the center, and Aurelia sat up to marvel at the fragmented reflection of the moon on its surface, bobbing along with the motion from the boat.

They sat in silence, listening to each other's heartbeat and the quiet sounds of the environment. Somehow, even in this idyllic setting, Aurelia found herself worrying about the future. Clone troopers were entirely at the Empire's whims. What kind of life had she signed up for? The lack of security felt like a crevasse in the earth opening up beneath her, and the concerns threatened to overwhelm her. She turned to be able to see his face, which was tipped up toward the stars above. He lowered his eyes to hers, and the depth of his gaze struck a chord deep within her, further solidified by his small half-smile at her attention. She took a deep breath, reaching a hand up to gently caress his scarred cheek.

The boat tipped suddenly, rocking violently as though it had been hit by something. The tender moment was broken by a startled gasp from Aurelia, and Howzer immediately pulled his helmet on, sitting up behind her and picking up the oar. The water glistened with movement, but the canoe slowly steadied. Still feeling unsteady, Howzer began paddling toward the shore.

"Are there creatures in this lake?" Aurelia asked, seeing no other possible explanation.

"It's a local fishing lake," he answered, head swiveling back and forth with alert attention. "So nothing big. I'm thinking a fish might have just lost its way, but that was a pretty big bump for the kind of fish that are here..." He drifted off uneasily, paddling steadily toward the shore, which was drawing closer.

"We'll have to catch a few of them and eat them... for ruining our date..." she offered, an attempt at lighthearted humor to try to push aside the fear that was simmering in her stomach.

His forced pity laugh was cut off by a loud burst of water as a large, slimy tentacle shot out of the lake next to the boat. It flailed in the air, falling with a crash through the middle of the canoe, and began to pull it backward. Aurelia yelped, scrambling to the opposite side from Howzer, who had taken a powerful swing at the arm with the paddle, landing a solid blow on it. Another one burst through the water on the other side, sweeping across the top of the canoe. Howzer leapt over it, swinging the paddle at it and firing a round from his blaster, but it knocked Aurelia backward, and she tipped over the side, falling into the water with a loud splash.

Howzer aimed his blaster into the water after her, seeking a clear shot at the broad tentacles, but he couldn't tell where she was in the midst of it. Securing his blaster to his side, he dove in after her, finding her arms just below the surface. He wrapped an arm around her, kicking as hard as he could at the creature swirling around them, and felt his foot connect with something particularly soft. The tentacles jerked in response, moving quickly toward the bottom, and the two broke free and crashed to the surface, Aurelia gasping for air.

Howzer swam toward the shore, closing the distance quickly and dragging the two of them up onto the banks. He looked back at the water, ominously choppy still, and clambered to his feet, scooping Aurelia up and staggering away. Once they were a safe distance, in the thicker part of the forest, he stopped, panting in exhaustion, and set her down gently, ripping his helmet off. She was soaked to the bone, as well as all her layers of clothing. He sat on a tree trunk next to her, pushing his wet hair out of his face.

"That wasnotthe plan," he muttered, brushing droplets of water off his cheeks. Aurelia chuckled halfheartedly, looking around with trepidation. Howzer followed her gaze, scanning the perimeter for motion. "Sorry, not quite the relaxing evening I imagined."

"It's d-delightful," she answered, beginning to shiver now, "But I think a hot sh-shower would be a good way to end it."

"Agreed."

* * *

The walk home felt twice as long as the journey there, despite moving as quickly as they could to try to keep warm. Howzer's armor was doing a decent job for him, but Aurelia was not so fortunate. Teeth chattering, she smashed the key card against the reader a few times before it finally dinged, admitting them to her apartment, and she headed straight for the bathroom, stripping off layer after layer and dropping them all with asplatinto the sink by the shower. It was hot and steamy within a minute, and she pulled the curtain closed, reveling in the warm water on her skin.

A hand reached through the back of the shower, startling her, and she heard Howzer's voice as his fingers waggled, "Need some help in there?"

Aurelia laughed, still feeling a bit sheepish at being seen naked, but also quite enticed by the proposition of lathering him up from head to toe. She reached for his hand, giving it a little pull, and with a stumbling shuffle, he stepped in, grinning at her with her arms folded across her chest. He moved closer, gently placing a hand on her waist, and she nestled against his chest, tingling at the sensation of skin on skin.

"I guess this makes up for it," she said quietly against his neck.

"I think I've got a little more debt than that," he murmured, tipping her chin up for a kiss.

Chapter 28: Shifting Protocols

Chapter Text

"Alright men, look sharp," Howzer commanded from beneath his helmet, walking in front of his lined-up squad. "We've got a new patrol group coming in, and the better we train them, the less we have to clean up after them. Got it?"

"Yes, sir!" they chorused.

"At ease," he answered, and they turned to watch the fresh batch of troopers arrive. It had been a few months filled with rotating platoons and training drills, with a heavier focus on the doonium mine and refinery. The new group approached Howzer's squad, and there was some surprise at the mixed group: there were clones as well as other humans, all walking toward them with their helmets at their sides. As they arrived, they halted as one, moving into formation and pulling their helmets on, waiting quietly for orders.

The day wore on, full of training drills and procedures for various scenarios. The occasional theft was the extent of their worries, and the Empire hadn't seemed concerned enough about them to improve any protocols, so they went through the motions with familiarity. After hours of practice and review, they were finished, and Howzer dismissed the newbies. His squad lingered, pulling their helmets off and exchanging a few quips and jabs.

"Cantina tonight?" asked Steady, stretching his neck side to side.

"I'm in!" Demo answered, clicking an attachment off the muzzle of his blaster and tucking it into a thigh pouch before holstering his weapon.

"Too loud," a grumble came from behind.

"I agree, Loner. And I'm gonna use the extra shower time if the two of you go," said Zip, who had been absent from the last adventure as well.

"I'll come!" a bright voice announced, as a trooper with dark green marks on his armor poked his head out from behind Howzer's shoulder. "If that's alright..."

"Sure thing, Fireball. We'll get you settled right in," Steady answered congenially.

"It's nothing like Kashyyyk though," Demo warned, grinning mischievously.

BOOM. A barricade exploded in the shipyard as a ground transport plowed through it, careening toward the distant canyon. The men startled into action, pulling helmets on and drawing blasters, and Howzer took immediate command. Mounting a few nearby speeders, the rest piled into a low-altitude assault transport and took off in pursuit. Two of the speeder bikes raced along the top of the canyon, finding a narrow point where the canyon path the transport was on seemed to converge. Aiming their blasters at the rock walls opposite each other, they created a rockslide with a flurry of well-placed shots, and the boulders tumbled into the canyon below, creating a formidable obstacle.

The stolen transport skidded to a halt, spinning sideways as the rocks crashed down in front of it. Howzer and his LA-AT team were not far behind, coming in for landing to cut off their escape. Troopers spilled out its sides, sprinting toward the stolen transport with blasters drawn. A small group readied to break into the steering compartment, and the rest approached the rear. Fanning out into position, they stood at the ready as two moved in to place a detonator on the back door. With a single arm signal, they folded to the sides for cover, and with one last drop of the hand from the Captain, it exploded, causing the large metal panel to fall off its hinges.

Filing in with weapons at the ready, the clone troopers discovered, as the dust settled, that the transport was not full of weapons or credits, but thin, sallow-skinned Twi'leks with raggedy clothes cowering before them with their arms in the air. Demo hesitated, aiming his blaster back and forth between two adolescents that couldn't have been far into their teens, looking quizzically at Steady from beneath his helmet. Howzer glanced from face to face, searching for anyone in any position of authority and finding none. He leapt back out, heading to the front of the transport, where his brothers had apprehended the three in the drivers compartment, who were now standing in the headlights with their hands behind their heads, guarded on every direction.

"What's going on here?" Howzer demanded.

"Ryloth needs to be freed!" came the thickly-accented answer from a tall female Twi'lek with a fierce glare.

"So you're kidnapping your own people?" he challenged, addressing her now.

"Kidnapping? We are releasing them from slavery!"

"They're employees! Hired by the Empire!" yelled Loner from behind Howzer, who waved a hand to silence his comrade.

"Look at them, Captain," said the Twi'lek woman, quieter yet more emphatic now. "Do they look like employees?"

He turned to look at the crowd behind him, where his squad had gathered the stowaways in a messy cluster. They looked fearful and confused, as well as tired and resigned. His brow furrowed beneath his helmet, and he turned back to the woman. "Did you take any weapons? Credits? Materials?"

"No, only our brothers and sisters. You can understand that as a clone, no?"

Howzer hesitated, glancing to his side where Zip and Steady had rallied behind him, now being joined by Demo and Fireball. Thoughts racing, he considered the situation, pulling his helmet off in a show of humanity. His squad did the same, lowering blasters and releasing the tension a bit as they showed their identical yet unique faces. The pause lingered for a moment, then was broken by the singular sound of a lightthudfollowed by quickening beeping.

"Grenade!!" shouted Demo, and everyone sprang into action, diving for cover anywhere it was found. The blast rocked the canyon, and the ensuing chaos was a blur in Howzer's memory.

* * *

"That's the entire report?" Rampart's smooth voice queried as he strolled across the line of Howzer's squad.

"Yes sir," Howzer answered, standing at the end of the line, chin raised.

"Hmm," the Admiral said thoughtfully. "It's a shame. These insurgents are getting more organized, and they are becoming an increasing source of trouble. How they managed to get an entire group out of there on foot is beyond me, but they are clearly more capable than we previously thought. In the future, Captain, don't waste the manpower or time in pursuit. Simply obliterate it from the air. That would have dealt with the problem without losing two of your men."

"But sir, it was full of civilians," Howzer answered hesitantly.

"Civilians, materials... whatever it is," Rampart bulldozed, and a few clone troopers shifted minutely in their armor, "It needs to be made clear that their efforts will only be met with great loss."

"Yes sir," Howzer said automatically, insides churning.

"You're dismissed."

Chapter 29: Deception

Chapter Text

Aurelia's work in the medical clinic had been growing in complexity. She was proud of her increasing confidence in a variety of areas. One afternoon in particular had her feeling on top of the world, as well as incredibly apprehensive, due to some shocking news she'd received that day. As the workday progressed, she felt her excitement to get home to Howzer growing, and was absently cleaning some instruments when the receptionist passed on a transmission that had been sent to her from the capitol tower.

——————————————
ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION//1600 HRS

LATE WORK NIGHT -- EMERGENCY PRISONER TRANSPORT FOR RAMPART
MUST POSTPONE RENDEZVOUS.

CC-2420//END
——————————————

Heart sinking, Aurelia bristled at the mention of this "Rampart". She'd heard only bits and pieces about him from Howzer, but he seemed to be a silky-smooth talker with a kind face that starkly contrasted his ruthless heart. Howzer had been under his domain since his recent arrival on Ryloth, and Rampart had been increasing the security and troop presence in both the capitol and the doonium refinery. She sighed, looking down and placing a single hand on her belly. The news would have to wait.

* * *

It was almost dawn when the door of her apartment opened, startling Aurelia from her snooze on the couch. She had refused to go to bed and had tried to wait up for him as long as she could. He dropped his helmet on the counter and headed straight for the bedroom, unaware of her sleepy head peeking over the back of the couch. She heard him flop onto the bed, armor and all, with an exhausted and frustrated sigh.

Unable to decide between concern and humor, she remained silent as she gently sat on the bed next to him, placing a hand just above the white cylinder on the small of his back. He rolled his head to face her, arms splayed out, and the half of his face that she could see was covered with a myriad of expressions from confusion to indignation to defeat. She leaned down, placing a tender kiss on his salty, sweaty forehead, and sat up again, wiping her mouth on her sleeve with a small, patient smile.

"They're at it again," Howzer finally said, his voice thin with fatigue.

"I know you're tired, but would you care to elaborate?" she asked gently.

"The Imperials. Rampart. His elite squad. Orn Free Taa. All of them. It's a mess."

"What happened?"

Howzer sighed, rolling over and pushing himself up to a seated position, leaning back on one elbow and rubbing his forehead with his other hand before speaking, "Cham's daughter got in trouble for 'spying', just for being somewhere she shouldn't have. But she's a kid, you know? Then, later, they find her on a ship coming in with illegal weapons, with Gobi..."

"Oh..." Aurelia said softly, knowing how Gobi Glie's involvement would paint the whole situation.

"Just like that, Orn Free Taa has her labeled aninsurgent," he said, hating that word more every time he heard it, "And wanted her transported to a high security prison with Gobi and his accomplice. Cham found out about it and attacked our transport last night. Rampart seemed way too comfortable with the whole thing and immediately told us to surrender. Cham got Hera out and had Orn Free Taa at blaster point but didn't go through with it. We talked him down, and he lowered the blaster. But then someone shot Taa from up high. I couldn't see. And Rampart suddenly has Cham, Eleni, and their whole crew arrested for an attempt on the senator's life! His entire team was right there in front of us; Rampart should know it couldn't have come from them... None of it makes sense..." Howzer drifted off, slipping his elbow out from underneath him to lie flat on his back, both hands rubbing his face now. He looked so tired, so distressed... Aurelia longed to snap her fingers and make everything okay for him.

"I'm so sorry. At least Hera got away. But what happened to the Syndullas? And did Taa die?"

"No, he's at the medical bay. The Syndullas are being held in the capitol. Hera is nowhere to be found. I've got about three hours before I have to report back in."

"Ah," Aurelia sighed, feeling his exhaustion with him. "What sounds best? Shower? Food? Sleep"

"Just sleep," he mumbled, fidgeting with his armor gauntlets. Aurelia helped him remove his plates and pieces, quietly enjoying the intimacy of the action without bringing attention to it, and pulled the covers back for him to shuffle up toward the pillow. He collapsed onto it, laying on his side, and she crawled into bed behind him, fitting herself up against his back and legs, reaching one arm around his waist, which he reached down to grab, entwining his fingers with hers and bringing her hand up to his chest, holding it close. He was asleep within seconds.

* * *

Howzer walked down the hallway behind Rampart, face blank but mind racing, past the holding cells where Syndulla's cohorts were being held. They came to one of the red ray-shielded doors and stopped, turning to face the Twi'leks inside.

"Ah, Cham Syndulla, the Liberator of Ryloth," said Rampart smoothly, "Now the traitor of Ryloth." Howzer glanced at him as he continued, "Attempting to assassinate your own senator? How unfortunate for your people to see you fall."

"They won't believe your lies," growled Cham from the bench in the cell.

"Taa said you would be a challenge, but he was mistaken," continued Rampart, unphased. "Your loyal followers will be even easier to deal with. Your daughter too."

Howzer could barely hide his shock at the thinly-veiled threat, eyes widening for a moment before he quickly calmed his features down into his standard expression. His mind was racing, laced with a heavy sense of dread. None of it made sense. But Rampart was clearly attempting to manipulate Cham, which, from past experience, was not likely to be fruitful. But he also knew that Hera was their only remaining child, having lost their son at a tragically young age, and that they would go to any length to protect her.

"Surely you know how dangerous it can be out there," Rampart finished, his even voice now taking on a tinge of suggestion that made his intentions all too clear.

"You don't know Hera," Cham responded evenly, through a menacing squint. His confidence in his daughter was clear, and had also been well-earned, as Howzer had seen over the years of working with the Syndullas. Rampart took it in stride, however, and dismissively turned to Cham's wife.

"Eleni, you're the reasonable one. Tell us where she is, and I will ensure that she is returned to you safely."

"I have seen how you treat your allies, Admiral," Eleni said in her thickly-accented voice, standing to her full height and striding forward to the middle of the cell to address him directly, chin lifted proudly, "I prefer to be your enemy."

Howzer could have sworn he saw the hint of a smile curve the corner of Rampart's lips, and he raised his head, turning to leave with one last comment, "Have it your way." He continued down the hall without another word, leaving Howzer behind. Cham rose to stand by his wife, placing a strong, supportive arm around her shoulders, and the two of them glared at Howzer. He had always been the one standing behind them, and their accusatory glances, void of any of the usual familiarity, pierced him to the core. He let out a deep sigh, lowering his eyes to the ground, and dutifully turned to follow Rampart.

The door to the landing bay slid open and Rampart began his orders to Howzer, "Scour the entire planet if you have to. I want all of Syndulla's sympathizers found and arrested."

"Sir," Howzer began, careful to keep his voice even and not at all challenging, "The people are not insurgents. We have no cause to arrest them." He accompanied it with a little shoulder shrug, extending his hand submissively, hoping that Rampart would see reason.

"They're supporting a menace," Rampart responded abruptly. "Syndulla's forces attacked our transport and shot Senator Taa."

"I was there," Howzer said suddenly, feeling emboldened by the need to make the truth plain. "That blast didn't come from Chamorhis fighters." He turned to face Rampart, man to man, keeping himself calm and steady. There had to be some way to explain it all, some way to avoid such nefarious plotting.

"Is that so?" Rampart crooned, still facing the ships in the yard. "Then please enlighten me," he continued, turning and stepping toward Howzer, getting uncomfortably close. "Whoisresponsible?" The last word was embellished with a tilt of the head and an arch of the eyebrow as he stared into Howzer's eyes, the challenge being quite clear.

"I..." Howzer took a half-step backward, eyes dropping submissively to search the ground for answers, "...don't know, sir." He kicked himself inwardly, feeling the need to stand up for what was right but not having any clear path of how to do so.

"Leave the thinking to me, Captain," Rampart said dismissively, barely hiding his disgust at the clone as he turned back to face the shipyard. "You have your orders," he stated, tipping his head to the side but not even sparing Howzer a second glance.

"Yes sir," Howzer said after a moment of thought, turning to the ships as well and standing up straight. He had a solution; a temporary one, at least. "I'll locate Hera Syndulla myself," he said with a confident authority, hoping that it would elicit Rampart's trust and support.

"That's not necessary," the Admiral responded, still not meeting Howzer's gaze as he looked at him in surprise. "Another squad is handling that. It's only a matter of time before she's found." He turned and strolled back into the capitol tower, leaving Howzer alone.

Howzer looked out at the ships, the inner turmoil threatening to show itself externally. He'd been on Ryloth for years. Their purpose was to protect the planet from the Separatists. They'd accomplished that. So why were they suddenly falsely accusing and arresting an entire part of the population without any cause? He had to figure something out... quickly.

Chapter 30: The Stand

Chapter Text

"The refinery is under attack!" Howzer announced, charging into Rampart's office only to be met by the Admiral on his way out.

"I'll handle it," he replied, surprisingly calm despite the fury in his eyes. "Stay here and guard the capitol," he spat, shoving Howzer to the side as he continued into the hallway. Another notification began beeping on Rampart's desk screen, and Howzer sidled over to check it. The doors of the holding cells were being deactivated, though the patrols had all been sent to the shipyard to be dispatched to the refinery. He smirked; he'd had the same thought himself, but someone else had beaten him to it.

He started to head for the holding cells, but he hesitated. There shouldn't be any obstacles, considering the rush on the refinery, but it was always wise to ensure the way was clear before charging in. He sprinted for the north tower, taking the lift to the very top.

Howzer strolled onto a balcony with a covered roof, watching ship after ship lift off, clearing the ground below except for one last shuttle, outside which the squad commander paused, looking back. He stood for a moment, considering the situation and talking to his squad, before turning back toward the south tower. Cursing inwardly, Howzer watched as his troops followed him back out of the shuttle. They were on to something.

* * *

Aurelia hadn't been able to contain her curiosity and apprehension, hearing a distant rumble of explosions. Without thinking, she beelined for the capitol towers, fueled by a singular desire to see that Howzer was alright. There was no reason behind the decision, just a panicked reaction to an uncertain situation, but she didn't care about that as the doors slid open in front of her. She had been inside a few times, but without a basic orientation, she could be lost in the endless hallways and towers. Barreling around a corner, she ran smack into a plastic wall and staggered back with a gasp.

"Whatare you doing here?!" Howzer asked sharpy, coming across a bit more sternly than he intended through his helmet. He whipped it off his head, staring at Aurelia in shock.

"I wanted to find you!" she panted, hand on her chest, then lower to her stomach, "I have to tell you something..." She breathlessly waved a hand as though it would help her be able to speak.

"I have to catch these people before they reach the exit," he replied, softer now but with an undeniable urgency. "Please, I'll be right back, okay?"

"What if they capture you?" Aurelia asked, fighting to hold back tears. "They'll label you an insurgent like the rest of them. Can't you use your position somehow? To stay safe?" Her voice quavered, and her knees felt wobbly.

"It's not about power..." Howzer said slowly, heart aching as he remembered hearing them from Sprint so many years ago, "It's about doing the right thing..."

"Okay..." she breathed in resignation, one hand still on her stomach. She grabbed his hand with one last lunge, pulling him back toward her for a split second, gazing into those beloved eyes with a whole new level of meaning and connection. She caressed his scarred cheek, feeling her heart swell even as it raced in her chest, and placed a quick, gentle, but firm kiss on his lips before releasing him. "I love you," she said quietly as he pulled his helmet on.

"Always," Howzer answered, nodding to her before racing down the hallway again, calling out over his shoulder, "Can't wait to hear the news!"

Aurelia sighed, having a bad feeling deep in her gut as she watched his teal streaked armor disappear around a corner, alarms blaring inside and out.

* * *

"Cham, wait! You're walking into a trap," Howzer said, stepping forward from the back of the chamber as the group rushed toward the door. He was immediately looking down the barrels of two mercenaries in grey and red armor, standing protectively in front of the Twi'leks, but he continued, "There's a whole squad out there, waiting."

Gobi was suspicious, and rightfully so, but once Howzer convinced them of his allegiance, apologizing to Cham for not stopping it all sooner, Eleni came up with an alternate plan. They determined to head for Orn Free Taa's private shuttle, to make an aerial escape where the Imperials wouldn't expect it.

"You can't stay here," Eleni continued, stepping forward to address her loyal clone captain. "They'll know you helped us."

Howzer's heart sank as he realized she was right. He had half a mind to run back the way he came, swoop up Aurelia and disappear forever, but he also knew that right outside the door stood Demo, Steady, Loner, and so many brothers who he had spent his life serving with. They had been brought to Ryloth for a singular purpose, and they were out there doing precisely the opposite. He couldn't leave them to the Empire's deception, to be used as pawns for selfish, cruel motives. He had to get through to them.

"Go. While there's still time," he confirmed, listening to the footsteps fade as they shuffled back down the hallway. He walked toward the doors slowly, heart pounding, and pulled his helmet on in one determined movement. He paused for a moment, thinking of Aurelia, wondering what was so urgent that had brought her running in the middle of chaos. But now was not the time. Pushing the thoughts aside, he took a deep breath, feeling settled and resolute as he conjured up the image of Sprint in his head one last time. Then the doors whooshed open.

"Brothers!" Howzer said, striding forward with a newfound confidence as he looked at the helmets of his squad. "Whatare we doing? We came here to free Ryloth from Separatist control, and we succeeded. But look around you. We're now being ordered to target the very people we swore to protect! And I willnotbe a part of it any longer." He threw down his weapon with vehemence, finishing with one last invitation, "Who will stand with me?"

After a tense pause, Steady threw his shield down to the side and tossed his blaster on the ground. Demo did the same, followed by four others, and Howzer felt his hopes rising that he may have gotten through to all of them, but the rest stopped, turning to face their brothers, shields up, guns leveled at them. He heard the back door slide open, and an Imperial trooper and two backups came out, holding him in their sights as did the two troopers that came toward his front. He put his hands behind his head, feeling the hands of his fellow clones move them down to the small of his back where they were cuffed together.

The shuttle flew out of its hangar, and a sniper fired some shots at it but it was too late. Howzer lifted his head, watching it disappear into the stars with a glimmer of hope, feeling a deep sense of calm within. Whatever may happen from here on out, he had done his part to prevent injustice and had maintained his loyalty to the family and people he had been brought there to serve. As much as his purpose had shifted beneath his feet over the last number of years, he felt singularly fulfilled.

The troops turned him around, and they began marching together back into the chamber. Howzer tilted his head down. Now it was time to figure out the next move.

Chapter 31: Unstable Footing

Chapter Text

Aurelia pressed herself into a corner, hearing footsteps down the corridor. It sounded like multiple people; was Howzer accompanying the prisoners? She squeezed behind an auxiliary panel, vanishing from sight as the group drew nearer. To her shock and horror, she saw that beloved teal green clone, surrounded by white troopers and a grey Imperial, walking silently with hands cuffed behind his back. She had to figure something out, but she wasn't made for this sort of thing. Mind racing, she waited until it was mostly quiet, then slowly followed the group at a distance to avoid being sighted.

She expected to be led to the holding cells, but they stayed on the ground level, continuing out to the landing bay where a few small transports were still docked, the rest having been sent to the refinery as a frantic response to the attack. Her anxiety began to grow as they boarded one of the shuttles. Why hadn't they gone to the holding cells? She couldn't keep a logical train of thought to determine the best move. If she snuck onto the ship, she could perhaps release him, but the chances of being caught were high as there weren't many places to hide on such a small ship, teeming with troopers. But what could she do if she stayed behind? This was way out of her league.

Sneaking along the edge of a line of crates, she drew nearer, calculating the time it would take to run across the open and up the ramp. The ship was powering up, though the door was still open and the gangway was still down. As she glanced frantically around, legs trembling, she heard a sound from behind. Diving in a small gap between two large stacks of crates, she peered through a crack in the palettes, seeing more troopers and Imperials guiding a group of maybe six or so clones toward the ship. They were also handcuffed, heads down, and not a word was said by captive nor captor. She found herself wondering what had happened, for Howzer's own squad to arrest some of their own, but the Imperial involvement gave her a cold and clammy feeling that she might not want to know.

As the last trooper boarded, she scanned the perimeter, preparing to run for it. If more groups were coming, she'd have to be on the ship before they were done. Just as she was about to spring forth from her little hiding place, however, the ramp folded up with a loudssssshhhhhh, sealing itself around the door.

"No!" Aurelia breathed, heart sinking as panic rose. She felt frozen to the ground, paralyzed with fear and fluster, as the shuttle slowly lifted off the ground, landing gear tucking neatly into the bottom as it turned toward the stars.

* * *

There was no sleep to be had that night. Aurelia had returned to her apartment, cold and dark and empty now, and collapsed onto the bed. She tossed and turned, wracking her brain for any idea of how she could figure out where the shuttle was headed. If she could utilize some of Gowden's contacts, she thought with a shudder, she might be able to access some information in the ship log, but she didn't have any cover story to allow her to show up there with good reason.

Her thoughts turned from possibilities to chastisem*nt, inwardly kicking herself. She'd known what she was getting into... the likelihood of a sad ending... She just hadn't expected the twists and turns of the last twenty-four hours. The startling surprise of a new chapter of their lives opening up before them... promptly followed by the shattering loss of the one she loved most. She felt drained and lost, sinking into despair, and wallowed there for a while, seeking solace by reminiscing of days past -- Howzer's shiny young face and need to prove himself, his intoxicating closeness as he teased her at the opera house, the delight in his eyes as he showed her the speeder traffic above the Coruscant Tower, the incredible warmth and security of being able to curl up next to him, all defenses down, and drift off to sleep to the sound of his breathing and the smell of his soap.

A sharp pain twisted in her chest, and she had to pull up from all of this if she were ever going to figure out an option. The sun was already up, and it would be time to report to work soon. Perhaps she could confide in someone there, although it wasn't ever quite safe to assume where someone stood as far as the Empire. She'd have to be careful.

* * *

Dark circles were the first thing the receptionist noticed when Aurelia trudged into the medical clinic that morning, and her undeniably despondent body language confirmed her suspicions. She waited a while, to let Aurelia get settled in and start about her duties, and when it was a quiet hour, she found her in the supply closet, leaning against the shelf, head in her hands.

"What's going on, sweetie?" the Twi'lek woman asked, her rich voice thick with both accent and compassion.

"It's... nothing..." Aurelia deflected, wiping her eyes in a feeble attempt to appear normal.

"All this time and you still don't trust me?"

"It's not you, Ivaadi!" Aurelia answered earnestly, lifting her face to meet the woman's gaze. "I just don't know what to do. Howzer is gone."

"Ahhh, my dear," Ivaadi soothed affectionately, drawing close and inviting Aurelia into a hug, which she begrudgingly accepted, "I am so sorry. Sometimes the men are terrified at the thought of being fathers; probably even more so for clones..."

"Fathers... what?" Aurelia mumbled, mind swirling in confusion.

"I assume you told him you were pregnant? Wasn't that what you were so excited about yesterday?" Ivaadi asked, clearly baffled now.

"No," Aurelia groaned, rubbing her forehead with one hand in misery. "I didn't get the chance to tell him. He was arrested and transported off world."

A sharp intake of air signaled Ivaadi's surprise, but it was quickly covered by further reassurance and a tighter hug. "I am so sorry, sweet girl. Do you know where they took him?"

"No" came the quavering whisper from Aurelia as she felt the last bit of hope float away.

Silence reigned for a moment, then Ivaadi moved on, "Do you need help to... take care... of the pregnancy?"

Aurelia paused. She hadn't even considered that. Truth be told, she hadn't ever thought much about anything having to do with pregnancy until now; for some reason she had never thought it would be part of her life. And yet here she was. She pulled away from Ivaadi's hug, cradling her still-somewhat-flat stomach (because stomachs are never really flat, people) thoughtfully. So many possibilities raced through her mind, it felt dizzying. Taking one long, slow, deep breath, she centered herself and tried to listen to the voice within. Opening her eyes, she smiled at Ivaadi, taking one of her hands and giving it a grateful squeeze.

"No," she said softly, rubbing a hand gently back and forth across her middle, "We'll figure this out."

* * *

The day passed by with the usual flurry of tasks, and Aurelia did her best to keep her mind on the work at hand instead of the millions of questions and fears she had about the future. As she and the chief surgeon were washing up after a procedure, he looked at her curiously.

"You are a fan of the clones, yes?" he asked in the standard Twi'lek accent.

"I suppose so," she answered, feeling simultaneously wistful and despairing. "Why?"

"I am in contact with a medical team on Coruscant, and there have been more and more clones running into trouble. There is a clinic there that specializes in treating them, but they are grossly understaffed. It's mostly volunteer positions, but they do have an opening for a physician's assistant. They don't have the medical droids that they used to, as the Empire has cut their funding to put toward other projects. If you would be happier there, I can arrange something."

Aurelia sighed. Coruscant. Her parents had all but disowned her after she lost her bartending job; what would they say if she showed up like this? She nodded to the surgeon, "I appreciate the offer, but I love it here. And I would need a place to live there as well."

"The medical team is provided small apartments above the clinic. It's somewhat of a dormitory style, but lodging is available in addition to the salary. We would love to keep you here, but they've been asking me for weeks if I knew of anyone, and you have always seemed to have a soft spot for the clones."

"True," Aurelia muttered.If you only knew.She finished clearing the instruments on the tray and closed the cupboards before replying, "I'll think about it and let you know tomorrow?"

"Wonderful."

* * *

Aurelia walked home slowly, mulling things over in her mind. She didn't know what to do about Howzer. Perhaps if she worked her way back into some Imperial good graces on Coruscant, she might be able to get some information. Or she might be able to find someone who could. There were far more connections and opportunities there, though her heart ached at the thought of leaving Ryloth. She'd become so enamored with it, but realized it was most likely because of the warmth, adventure, and joy that Howzer brought to it. Without him, it felt empty and foreign once again.

The doors to her apartment building whooshed open, and the atrium had a few people milling around as usual, checking the holonet, waiting for a lift, or conversing as they walked. She headed for the lifts, pressing the button and waiting for it to arrive. Suddenly, a sickly smooth voice behind her made her heart stop cold. Whirling around as fast as she could, she was unable to hide her gasp of shock at the impossible yet unmistakable sight that stood before her.

It was Moss Gowden.

"Hello, Aurelia."

Chapter 32: Direction

Chapter Text

"What... How..." Aurelia spluttered, tripping backward into the wall behind her as horror and disbelief flooded her system.

"Yes, yes indeed. It's me, alive and well. Moss Gowden, in theflesh," he said, hissing the last word with a chilling venom. "It would seem that your littlecloneadmirer thought he could get rid of me by lying to the Pykes. Tsk tsk," he chided, taking a step closer and causing Aurelia to swallow in fear. "Should have known better. Anyway, it seems that he'sout of the picturefor now, eh? And you're here... all alone..."

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, but Aurelia didn't move. A small group of loud adolescents spilled out of it, smacking each other and hurling insults as they trotted through the atrium. An elderly man approached from the side, holding a hand in the elevator and looking at Aurelia curiously.

"Are you going up?" he asked, his voice weathered with age.

"She is," Gowden answered, flashing a winning smile that barely hid the revolting gleam in his eyes. "She's got to get some good rest before she comes in to work tomorrow!"

"Okay then," the man said, shuffling in and pressing a button, still holding the door for her.

Aurelia slid toward it, not wanting to move an inch closer to Gowden, but he leaned in right next to her ear, causing her to freeze in panic again as he whispered so only she could hear.

"Youwillcome in tomorrow, or there will be... consequences."

* * *

Aurelia burst into her apartment, banging on the keypad to close the door behind her as quickly as possible. She locked it, double checked it, and then ran to pull the curtains across the transparisteel panels along her living room wall. She felt like an animal trapped in a cage, and her churning stomach threatened to empty its contents. Taking a shaky seat on the couch, she held her head in her hands, allowing the tears to fall freely. It was too much. Any one of these events was enough to rock her entire world, but to have all of it heaped up in one day?

It was dinnertime, but she had no sense of hunger whatsoever. She pulled her datapad from the table, tapping furiously as she sought the only option she could think of...

——————————————

ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION//1800 HRS

IVAADI -- IN DANGER, CAN'T EXPLAIN -- PLEASE CONFIRM CORUSCANT POSITION WITH SURGEON AND ASK FOR ESCORT FOR ME TO DEPART ASAP, BEFORE 0600 TOMORROW. PLEASE CONFIRM RECEIPT AND TRANSPORT ASAP. CANNOT LEAVE APARTMENT.

RELI

——————————————

* * *

Chapter 33: Baby Steps

Chapter Text

[Author's Note: So here's the thing... The next few chapters have a tumultuous amount of angst and heartache; it just kind of flowed as I continued the story. BUT, if you're here to enjoy fluff and not read about sad stuff, you can skip to Chapter 39. It's like a choose-your-own-adventure.] :)

"We're going down! Brace yourselves!" the pilot shouted, and Aurelia pulled the crash bar down over her head, clicking it into place around her chest. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she whimpered a silent prayer under her breath. Was this how it ended? For her, and for the little one within?

Suddenly she looked up, and Moss Gowden was sitting on the transport across from her, smiling sinisterly with blazing eyes. The ship lurched and tilted, and he was instantly standing, free of the restraints, approaching her with an outstretched hand. Just then, the ship hit the ground with an earsplitting crash, and everything blazed white with the explosion of impact.

Aurelia woke up with a gasp that choked her sleepy yell, sitting bolt upright in her bunk. She was clammy with sweat, and waves of nausea threatened to send her straight to the refresher. Panting with a confused panic that was taking far too long to recede, she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear the horrific scene from her mind.

It was a minimal improvement, so she lumbered out of her tiny dorm apartment, sliding the door open with a sleepy swipe of the hand and venturing out toward the common room. It had a basic kitchen area, as well as some scattered furniture for eating, working, or lounging, and was dimly lit by the soft glow of the nighttime safety lamps. Still shaking inside, Aurelia opened the refrigerator, squinting at the offensively bright light from within as she scanned the meager options. Her stomach churned, feeling simultaneously hungry yet upset, and she closed the door empty-handed. Turning to a cupboard instead, she fished out some plain crackers, moving toward the table to find the most comfortable-looking seat.

"Seems like an odd hour for a snack," came a gentle voice from the hallway, startling her and sending crackers flying across the floor.

"Kriff," she muttered, dropping the roll of wrapped crackers onto the table next to her and bending down to pick up her mess. "You scared me, Lennox. What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Lennox answered, slowly moving forward into more light. He was a tall, lanky human with a curly mop of brown hair and a boyish face that gave him a look of softness and approachability. It was well-suited for his work as a medical droid programmer and medic, and he had an even-tempered, compassionate way with patients and friends alike. His bright hazel eyes framed a rounded nose, and his high cheekbones were often curved into a smile. He had an edge, at times, with demanding or uncooperative patients, but was always able to lay down the law with grace and diplomacy, something Aurelia had always admired.

"Can't sleep. Nightmares. And I feel sick," Aurelia grumped, picking up the last of the crackers and sliding into a chair at a small dining table.

"Still with the nightmares?" Lennox said, frowning and taking a seat next to her. He reached for a cracker, studying her with concern. "It's been over six weeks now... I mean, I guess that's not very long, but I was hoping they'd fade quickly once you got settled... Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know what to do anymore," came the resigned reply, as Aurelia nibbled another cracker.

"Hey," he said in mock sternness, giving her hand a light smack as it stretched across the table toward the crackers, startling her a bit. She looked up quickly in indignation, though it dissipated as she saw his playful smile. "That's not the fighting spirit. You've got what... six months or so left? You're strong. You're smart. You were made for this. You can do it."

"I appreciate it," she said honestly, "But this is not how I ever expected things to go. I feel like I'm flying blind." She munched on the cracker, tired of its plain, salty taste that seemed to be the only thing she could stomach these days. With all the advanced medicine and technology, she was disappointed that there was not yet any cure for morning sickness and other early pregnancy woes. It had been weeks of exhaustion and nausea, not to mention the overall moodiness that wasn't helped by the trauma of all that she'd recently been through.

Some of the volunteers at the clinic had taken her under their wings, providing comfort and polite friendship that she hadn't experienced in years. Lennox similarly had been exceedingly helpful, working by her side as frequently as possible and often bringing small treats and gifts of encouragement. It had started with a puffy rice snack that she'd discovered she loved, and after an offhanded comment of her affinity for it during a procedure one day, she'd found an entire bucket of them outside her dorm room. A few weeks later, a humorous little bouquet was tucked into her cubby at the medical clinic, and it made her chuckle, as it was entirely made out of medical supplies -- inflated rubber gloves, sterile masks, IV tubes, and other such nonsense. She marveled at the creativity it took to create it, and it indeed did lift her spirits. Despite the despondency of her situation, Aurelia was deeply grateful for the small community she'd found and didn't know what she would have done without them.

"We're all flying blind, really," Lennox offered after a moment. "We maythinkwe know what we're doing or where we're going, but life often has a different plan. So we take it one step at a time, just like you're doing." He nodded, confidently supporting his own words. "Do you want something to help you sleep?"

"No... It makes me dream more..."

"Ah."

"But thank you," she said earnestly, lifting her eyes to his and giving his hand a friendly pat. "I really appreciate all that you and the others have been doing for me since I got here."

"Nothing any hero wouldn't do," he said with a small salute. "But in all seriousness, I don't know how that dude on Ryloth just ditched you like that."

Pain sang through Aurelia's heart at the thought of it. She hadn't shared much at all about her past, except that she had worked in the medical clinic in Lessu and had become pregnant by a local there who had been since removed from the picture. She'd made it clear that it wasn't a topic she wished to discuss, and they had respected her boundaries.

"He didn't ditch me, Lennox. I told you... He didn't have a choice."

"Hmm," he rumbled disapprovingly, "Even so... You'd think he'd have found a way to send word, or find you, or anything by now. I would have died trying. Especially knowing you were pregnant!"

"He didn't know," Aurelia said, feeling choked up all of a sudden. "I didn't get to tell him. Can we please not talk about this? You know it's not..." She sniffed, clamping her mouth shut to withhold sudden grief. Lennox tilted his head, eyebrows arched in compassion, and he lowered his head slightly.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm an idiot. Besides... You're doing just fine, right?" he said, an attempt at optimism that fell somewhat flat.

"One step at a time," she echoed quietly, wrapping up the rest of the crackers. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Were you just lurking out here or what?"

"I've developed a habit of midnight snacking," Lennox admitted with a shrug as they both rose from their seats. "I'll put those away for you if you'd like," he offered, holding a hand out for the crackers, which Aurelia gladly surrendered.

"Thanks, Len," her soft voice conveyed her gratitude for more than just the cracker clean-up, and he felt a pang in his chest as she turned away to the hall.

Chapter 34: Opening Up

Chapter Text

"We've got a full workup coming in," the nurse said, flipping pages on her clipboard. "Sounds like he was just rescued from some remote mountain. He's been shot, but they say he's alright, although there's a note on here to check his mental faculties. Something about an explosion, head injury... Whoever wrote this made a complete mess of it."

"Not much of the standard protocols left, it seems," Lennox said, shrugging dismissively. "Let's get him in here. Aurelia, can you please prep the diagnostic bed?"

"On it, Doc," came the reply, as Aurelia bumped a nearby cart with her mildly protruding belly. It had been another couple of months, full of the rhythm of work, rest, and the ever-changing spectrum of pregnancy quirks. Thankfully, the lingering first trimester symptoms had mercifully subsided. Her energy had returned, including an extra spark that she hadn't anticipated, and her baby bump had finally started to show. It was still fairly small, but she frequently found herself rubbing it with fondness, smiling as she thought to herself about all that it represented.

"I told you! I'm fine!" a voice came from the hall, slightly louder than usual, as a flustered nurse ushered in a clone. He looked diminutive, as they all did without their armor, and his unique appearance was even further accentuated by his strikingly sharp features. His cheeks seemed to be more angular than most, and his expressive eyebrows were working overtime to convey his displeasure. Aurelia smirked at the bravado, but the lighthearted observation was immediately replaced by a stabbing pain as her eyes rose to his hair: he had a faded undercut that reminded her of Howzer, though instead of being thick and tousled on top, it was smooth and laid flat against his skull.

"You alright?" Lennox asked, appearing at her side. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to her, and she could never quite decide if it was helpful or annoying.

"Yeah, sorry. Just distracted," she flubbed, turning away to continue entering the protocol on the diagnostic bed.

"Thank you, nurse," Lennox said kindly, turning to face the clone and rising to his full height, standing a good few inches over the head of the newcomer. "Alright, CC-5576 is it?"

"That's my number,sir, but Gregor is my name!" came the answer, and Aurelia tilted her head to inspect him again. He was a standard clone, but his voice had a unique lilt to it that caught her attention. It was hard to describe -- somehow slightly higher in pitch than the others, and as he continued talking, she noticed a periodic squeak on various syllables. She punched in an additional command on the screen for a more thorough vocal cord inspection in addition to the brain scan.

"Alright, Gregor," Lennox continued evenly. "I understand it's a bother, but we'd like to make sure you're all good to go, and we'll get you back out there in no time. Maybe we can see if we can modify the machine to give you some superpowers while you're in there, eh?" He had a variety of approaches with patients, attempting a variety of humor, discipline, paternal sternness, and gentleness until he found the particular combination that worked for each clone. Aurelia was amazed at his ability to connect with such a wide array of personalities, and she had learned quite a bit in this area during the last four months of working with him.

"Oh!" Gregor said, "Wellnowyou're talking!" He followed it with a sudden giggle that brought a smile to Aurelia's face without her permission. That was a new one.

"All you have to do is lie still for a while and we'll do the rest from here, alright Captain?" Lennox said, noting Gregor's title from the clipboard, which seemed to go a long way in increasing the clone's respect for him and led to subsequent cooperation. With a grin, he hopped onto the diagnostic bed with a bit of a wince, moving a hand to his chest where his blaster wounds had been stabilized on the journey to Coruscant. "We'll take care of those as well," Lennox assured him as he flattened himself on the gurney, which slowly slid into a large plastoid tube that whirred to life as the captain disappeared within.

"Do you know him?" Lennox asked Aurelia as they watched the data screen populate with various readings.

"Him? No, why?"

"You just had a funny look when you saw him."

"Ah," she said, shrugging dismissively, "My face looks funny sometimes, I guess."

"Why do you keep pushing us all away?" Lennox asked gently, reaching out as if to place a hand on her shoulder but rethinking it last minute, moving it quickly to the side to grab a tissue analyzer that he didn't really need. "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to comfort you? To share in your thoughts, both the good and the bad? There are wonderful people here, who truly care..." he drifted off for a minute, swallowing hard. "I mean, I'm here for you, but even if you don't want to confide in me, that's fine... I just know the value of having someone that feels like... I don't know... a counterpart of sorts. You know? You don't have to do it all alone."

There was a wistful tone to his voice, and Aurelia studied his face intently, with a sudden realization that perhaps his friendliness toward her had evolved into more than just decency. A flurry of emotions swirled around at once: self-criticism for not having seen it before, immediate guilt at the thought of letting anyone in other than Howzer, and a yearning for that kind of companionship that she'd been in complete denial about.

"I have that..." she attempted, voice falling flat.

Lennox remained silent for a moment, eyes roving the ground as though it would give him guidance. When he looked back up at her, he put forth a small smile and a brisk nod as he returned the tissue analyzer to the counter. "Alright," he said, though he didn't look convinced. He always wanted to respect her boundaries, though it was his very nature to try to help anyone in any kind of pain. But he also realized that it couldn't be forced... All lessons he'd learned over years of both personal and professional experience. "Well, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here, and I know others are too. Alright?"

"Alright," Aurelia answered, meeting his gaze. "I appreciate it, Len. Really, I do... I'll keep it in mind."

"Good girl," he said cheerfully, reaching up to pinch the bottom of her chin playfully, but Aurelia flinched and backed up suddenly in a seemingly disproportionate reaction. "Whoa!" Lennox said, putting both hands in the air in submission, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be out of line...? I apologize..." He watched her closely, confused by her immediate reactivity and the unequivocal look of disgust on her face. He thought they'd reached a comfortable level of closeness and friendship, and he was surprised at the hurt he felt in response to the abhorrence on her face.

"Sorry," Aurelia breathed, though she didn't know why she was apologizing. As she processed it all, and waves of the past washed over her, she shook her head. "It's not you. I just... Please don't ever call me 'good girl', okay?"

"Of course," Lennox said gently, lowering his hands at a snail's pace.

"I had a boss, back on Ryloth," Aurelia proceeded, the words flying out as though they needed to escape. "He was a slimy, gross, smooth talker who worked for the Empire. I was his assistant, but I was basically supposed to do whatever he wanted. Or so he thought...His name was Moss Gowden..." She shuddered at the thoughts, face contorted. "He was always hitting on me, always whispering nasty stuff... And he used to say 'good girl' under his breath whenever I answered his requests. It made my skin crawl."

The indignation and anger were plain on Lennox's face as he listened, and he clenched his fists at his sides for a second before releasing them and letting out a slow breath. "That must have been awful," he commiserated, leaving space for her to share more if she wished, hoping that she would continue to open up. He felt as though he were diffusing a bomb -- one wrong move and things would never be the same. And he desperately wanted to get it right.

"It was," Aurelia conceded. "I kept refusing him, trying to keep it professional... So one night he put spice in my food and waited until I could barely stand, then he tried to take advantage of me." Tears swelled in her eyes, and she looked up at the ceiling to try to hold them back. "He probably would have, too, if not for..." she faltered, lost in the splintered memory of Howzer's rescue. Lennox knew better than to inquire any further, and instead opened his arms slightly to the sides in a nonverbal invitation for comfort and closeness.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Aurelia gave in. It had felt like ages since she'd been held, and she'd felt so alone, as though she'd been ripped in half. In that moment, she felt like a child, lost and scared, longing someone to simply take care of her when she'd been working so hard to take care of herself. She stepped forward, allowing Lennox to wrap her in a gentle hug, her own arms hanging awkwardly at her sides. He was significantly taller than her, and the small indent where his ribcage split apart made a perfect place for her to hide her face.

Tears stole silently down her cheeks, wetting the front of his white uniform, and he lifted a hand to peaceably stroke the top of her head. He felt as though his heart were exploding in his chest. He didn't know how he'd come to be so fond of her, but she was brilliant and witty, strong and resilient, and had piqued his interest within the first few weeks of her arrival. He sympathized for her situation even though she didn't want him to, and he felt a strong desire to lighten her burdens. He'd caught a few glimpses of her humor, as well as brief flashes of curiosity, wonder, and delight that had warmed him to the core. She carried so much, and yet kept everyone at an arm's length even within the congenial friendships she enjoyed. Her heart seemed to be set on another, even though she didn't appear to hold much hope of his return. How someone could hold that kind of affection along with a stark sense of realism was beyond him, but it only increased his fascination.

"If not forwhat?"came a squeaky voice from inside the diagnostic bed. Aurelia sprang back, surprised by the unexpected third party.

"I thought they couldn't hear anything in there!" she hissed, wiping her eyes quickly.

"They usually can't," Lennox grumbled, leaning down to speak loudly into the tube. "You have to stay still please, Captain. Even speaking could cause it to miss some of the micro details. Plus... this conversation is not for you, my friend." There was a slight edge of correction to his voice, though it remained affable overall.

"Sorry!" was the singsong reply, "Just getting bored in here!"

Aurelia couldn't help but smile. The interruption was a welcome one, if she was honest. The consolation of Lennox's embrace had made her feel as ashamed as she felt gratified, and she'd been wrestling with a multitude of thoughts about it the entire time, which had felt like forever even though it was mere seconds. She appreciated the support, but it still felt wrong. She closed her eyes for a moment, envisioning the lazy evenings she'd spent wrapped up with Howzer on the couch, listening to his heartbeat and his husky voice, enveloped in perfect contentment and comfort. It felt like a lifetime ago, and the bittersweet reminiscence gave her a steadying sense of focus. She'd do everything she could to find him... whether he was dead or alive. The last thought made her stomach turn, and she opened her eyes, shaking her head briskly as if to chase the thoughts away.

"It's about finished anyway," she said, distracting herself with the data panel. At a nod from Lennox, she tapped the screen and the machine's loud whirring slowed to a quiet buzz as the gurney slid out slowly, freeing Captain Gregor from the tube. He sat up, rubbing the back of his head and looking sheepishly back and forth between them.

"Sorry if I was eavesdropping," he said, "I didn't have much else to do..."

"It's alright," Aurelia answered, "I shouldn't be discussing that kind of stuff at work anyway."

Lennox tilted his head as if to say something, but he was cut off by an oblivious Gregor, "Eh, it's as good a place as any. Besides, he seems like a good one." He jabbed a thumb toward Lennox, who had apparently earned his complete approval in the short time they'd been acquainted.

"Thank you, Captain," Lennox said uneasily, slightly flustered in an endearing sort of way. "If we could get back to matters at hand, however..." He skimmed the datapad, tapping various points to enlarge the detail. "The blaster wound is healing well, and we'll cover it with a fresh bacta patch on your way out. That should finish the job. It says in your file that you survived an explosion on Abafar..."

"Karking right I did!"

"Yes..." Lennox proceeded, smirking fondly at the enthusiasm. "Well, the lasting effects seem to be fairly minimal. Your motor skills are virtually uninhibited, and your brain function is surprisingly good, considering the trauma it received. I am seeing some damage, however, in the thalamus, as well as the hippocampal formations in your temporal lobe... There are also some rather permanent-looking lesions on the dorsal laryngeal motor cortex... "

"Whoa there, heh, can I get that in Basic, please?" Gregor lilted, looking to Aurelia for translation, who found his unfettered charisma a welcome respite from her troubling thoughts.

"These areas in your brain are connected to memory, so you may suffer bouts of amnesia or mood swings," she began, interrupted once again.

"I barely knew who I wasbeforethe explosion!" the commando interjected, "Some little bug man and his droid squad filled me in. So no surprise there!"

"You will likely have similar periods in the future, so finding a good support system and creating structures to remind yourself of things when it does happen would be a wise precaution," Aurelia suggested, "And the lesions are on the part of your brain that controls various elements of your vocal cords, including the pitch and cadence of your speech."

"Wellnooookidding..." Gregor marveled in mock surprise. "So I'm Captain Squeak from now on then, eh?" he chuckled as though it were an involuntary reaction. "Ah well. And what about my superpowers?"

Lennox smiled, patting the clone on the shoulder and inviting him to stand. "Your superpower seems to be that you are as difficult to kill as a spider-roach, my friend. You'll be a great asset to Captain Rex's team, should you choose to pursue that option."

"I'll take that as a compliment?" Gregor said, rubbing the back of his neck thoughtfully as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. A disembodied voice came from the small comlink near the door -- the nurse informing the doctor of his attention required in another room.

"Absolutely," Lennox answered, "Aurelia will get your chest mended with a new bacta patch, and you'll be on your way." He gave an appreciative wave as he exited, leaving the two of them staring at each other.

"Would you prefer to stand?" Aurelia asked, tearing open a fresh patch and removing the protective strips from its adhesive.

"Yes ma'am!" Gregor chirped, puffing out his chest with a smile.

"We need to remove the top of your blacks, please."

"Ohhh, gettingfriskynow, are we?" His teasing was clearly harmless, and it brought Aurelia a fond memory of Pivot'sinnocuous advances at 79s. She found a genuine smile on her face once again; this clone was an undeniable ray of sunshine in seemingly any situation, and she was honestly grateful for it. "Juuust kidding," he giggled as he pulled his turtleneck over his head, revealing a surprisingly gnarly chest wound that was covered with fairly shoddy work. The scorched flesh peeked out from around the edges of the wrinkled and faded bacta patch, and Gregor's grin turned into more of a grimace as she removed it as tenderly as she could.

"Sorry," she murmured, focusing intently on her work.

"You don't have to take it out on me," he muttered in return, hands gripping the edges of the diagnostic bed behind him. The patch was quickly freed from its enmeshment with his skin and hair, and Aurelia moved quickly to apply a soothing bacta spray, earning a deep sigh of relief from the commando. Her nurturing spirit warmed at the sight, and she felt a new sense of affirmation herself, inexplicably, some random inkling that perhaps things were going to be alright.

"By the way," Gregor said, bringing her awareness back to the present, "You should take it easy on that doc. He seems like an upstanding guy, and obviously cares a lot about you. Hard to come by good people these days, you know?" He waggled his eyebrows so suggestively that Aurelia's surprise was overshadowed by the levity of his expression, and she shook her head with a smile, fitting the fresh, large bacta patch across the side of his chest.

"You're a fun one, Gregor."

Chapter 35: Opportunity

Chapter Text

Aurelia rolled over on her bed, etching one little half of a tally mark into the wall where she had privately been recording the passing months. Eight and a half notches represented what felt like a lifetime. Eight and a half months since she had seen her... husband? It didn't feel like a fitting word, for some reason. He was her counterpart, as Lennox had put it a while ago, a connection that she'd never find anywhere else. She had also realized that she couldn't lose her entire sense of self, though, and rather than being completely enmeshed, she had been grateful for the way their personalities had complimented each other, being separate yet united, exploring each other's strengths and weaknesses and seeking to grow together. If only they'd had more time...

She exhaled lengthily. She mustn't think that way. Until she had undeniable confirmation of his death, she couldn't go down that road. Nevertheless, it was a difficult and foreign path, this navigation of the space in between. She chuckled mirthlessly at the thought of an old philosopher she'd read about as a student and how the situation applied here...Schrödinger's Howzer...

Today marked the start of her 36th week of pregnancy. She'd been feeling like a purgill on land, waddling about her duties with quite the rotund abdomen. Her dark hair had grown significantly from the curly bob she'd arrived with, and now settled just below her shoulders when it wasn't up in a bun. She'd also been given a surprising variety of hand-me-down clothing that better fit her growing form. It had been lovingly gathered by a few volunteers at the medical clinic, one of whom had been particularly diligent to provide as much care and support as possible.

The volunteers had been lessening in number, and there had been increasing rumors that the clinic might be shut down permanently. The Empire's priorities were shifting, and as clones were being phased out, the resources were being allocated more to the fancy new medical centers on the surface, where scientists and doctors worked to provide top-of-the-line care to Imperial recruits. Aurelia's friend was hoping to secure a full-time position, though she was loath to leave the tightly-knit community in the lower levels.

It had been during one of their conversations a few months ago that Aurelia had first felt a flutter, immediately stopping her midsentence. She'd placed a hand on her belly, brow creasing in focus, waving off her friend's questioning for the moment. There it had been again -- the tiniest sensation, almost making her queasy, as it tickled her side from within. That had been only the beginning, and now as she hoisted herself out of bed with a considerable amount of effort, she felt the shift inside. Pressure... discomfort... digging into her ribs and making one side of her stomach protrude. She took a deep breath, blowing it out her mouth as she pressed against the hard bulge. The kicking, pushing, and squirming was a frequent occurrence now, and while it had been delightfully novel at the start, it was now a regular reminder of the huge upcoming shift in her life. She tried to enjoy it, but it was always laced with tinges of apprehension and insecurity.

"One step at a time," she reminded herself.

* * *

After the day's work was almost done and the volunteers had been dismissed, the few remaining staff members were asked to remain at the medical clinic for an impromptu meeting. Details were sparse, but the questioning hubbub quickly died down as two tall men strolled in. They were decked in red and gold, with stately capes and tall hats that had visors over their eyes. The bottom halves of their faces were a strikingly blue color, and Aurelia found herself wondering if they were Pantoran or Chiss. They stepped to either side, silent and motionless, and behind them entered a much smaller woman. Same blue face, but no hat, although she also was clad in a regal red and gold dress. Her hair curved out to the sides, framing her face in a triangular shape. Pantoran, Aurelia confirmed in her mind, noting the large golden eyes shining brightly from her delicate, beautiful face.

"Thank you so much for staying past your shift," the woman spoke, in a sweet, high voice that was both confident and gentle. "I'll make this quick to respect your time. My name is Senator Riyo Chuchi, representative of Pantora. I've recently become more aware of the various struggles facing the clones, and I'm also aware of many clinics such as this being shut down in favor of the central Imperial complex. I'm doing my best to be a voice for the clones, after all they've done for us, and I wanted to offer you all the opportunity to continue in your work, if this is where your heart is..."

A few quiet whispers were exchanged in the small group as the diminutive woman paused, looking from face to face with earnestness. Aurelia was struck by her sincerity, finding it easy to believe that she was truly invested in her cause. Senator Chuchi continued, explaining her desire to keep the clinic open with direct funding that had been approved by the Pantoran Assembly, and she outlined some of the rather untraditional requirements that came along with it. She was clearly intelligent and well-spoken, and her strong sense of integrity was readily apparent. Aurelia found herself enamored by the woman, admiring her desire to do the right thing even in the face of overwhelming opposition, and felt drawn to her, as though they would be friends. Stifling a chuckle at the thought, as if a Senator would have time for such a thing, Aurelia lost her train of thought as Chuchi invited in a second guest.

A clone entered behind her, although he was remarkably free of the standard armor, instead wearing a high-collared blue vest that fastened across his chest. His base layer was both black and white, and he held himself with a sense of authority as he glanced around the room. The hint of hair on his head was a bright blonde, a striking contrast to the typical dark features of the clones, and his hawklike gaze took in the scene before him.

"This is Captain Rex, and he has been leading the efforts to rescue clones who are in danger of unfair treatment by the Empire," Chuchi said, extending an arm toward him as he came to a halt next to her. "He was the one who brought us Gregor, if you remember, who was being held against his will and forced to train new recruits. There are certainly many more, and his sacrificially brave work will hopefully allow us to help as many as we can. It's likely that medical attention will regularly be needed as well, so we're hoping that you would be willing to provide it."

Lennox nodded slowly, turning it over in his mind before speaking, "You mentioned earlier that this is strictly covert. What if we're caught by the Empire?"

"That's a risk we've always got to consider," Rex answered, and his smooth, assertive tone was so similar to Howzer's that Aurelia looked up at him quickly, catching his attention with her sudden movement. "Fortunately, the Coruscant underworld is notoriously off the Empire's radar, unless there's a particularly high-value target. Otherwise, it's mostly been dismissed as a cesspool of scum and villainy, which most Imperials think is below their concern."

"We know it's a lot to ask of you," Chuchi added, spreading her hands in an understanding gesture. "And we will provide as much support as we can as we forge through these uncertain times together."

"I'm in," Aurelia said without warning, feeling a sudden warmth as Riyo's gold eyes turned to her. The expression of admiration and gratitude on the Senator's face was intensified as she lowered her eyes to Aurelia's pregnant belly, smiling with unrestrained fondness. "I mean... If you can use me... Whatever that looks like..."

"We would be honored," Chuchi answered sincerely.

A few others agreed after clearing up some doubts and questions, and as they conversed, Aurelia studied the clone Captain. He was solemn and dignified, watching the proceedings without interjecting unless needed. He had an unassuming presence, as though he were simply doing his job and not risking everything to resist an oppressive Empire for the sake of his brothers, and his humility made her respect him even more. Perhaps she was projecting, but she felt a similarity between Howzer's strong sense of integrity and Rex's desire to do good no matter the cost, and she wanted to be a part of it.

Plus, she realized, this was a huge opportunity to be in contact with people who would have access to far more information than she ever would. If there were anyone who might be able to track Howzer down, it would be them. Aurelia's heart began to beat more quickly in her chest, and a squirm in her belly made her shift her weight. As she tuned back into the ongoing conversations, she heard Lennox pledge his involvement as he shook Senator Chuchi's hand gently.

"Wonderful! Thank you all, so very much," Chuchi said enthusiastically. "We will be in touch with more of the logistics of how it all will work. In the meantime, please accept our endless gratitude for your willingness to help!" She turned to leave, flanked by her silent guards, and Rex cast one last look around the group, giving a final, approving nod, and followed her out.

Fueled by a sudden urge to not let any chance slip through her fingers, Aurelia dashed after them, catching up in the foyer before they reached the main doors. The Pantoran guards were facing her immediately, but Rex and Riyo remained relaxed.

"Wait!" Aurelia panted, embarrassingly winded from a meager ten steps. "Sorry..." she said, slowly approaching the group. "I wondered... if I could make a request of you..." She hesitated, beginning to feel foolish, but steadied herself with the consolation that if they truly believed in helping any and all clones that needed it, she wouldn't be rejected.

"Of course," Chuchi said brightly, folding her hands in front of her as if she had all the time in the world to listen. "But first, what's your name?"

"Aurelia," she answered, slightly thrown off.

"Beautiful. Please, continue, Aurelia."

"I knew a clone captain on Ryloth who tried to protect a group that had been falsely accused of being insurgents... I don't know what happened, really, but the captain and some of his squad were arrested, but they were taken off-world immediately. There were no charges, no trial... They just disappeared... If you could find them..." An abrupt jab to the ribs from the little freeloader inside made Aurelia fall silent, feeling as though she couldn't take a full breath in. Her hands went to her abdomen, an automatic reaction after so many months, and she rubbed it gently as she finished. "They were good, loyal men. And I think they'd be a great help to your cause. His name was... is... Captain Howzer," she said, voice becoming thick with emotion as she spoke it aloud.

Riyo stepped forward, coming to stand right in front of Aurelia, and slowly took one of her hands in her own. "We will do everything we can. Thank you so much for telling us." Leaning in slightly, the Senator lowered her voice and continued in a gentle whisper that only Aurelia could hear, "It seems that this is particularly near to your heart."

Tears brimmed in Aurelia's eyes, and she nodded minutely as she fought to hold them back. With a smile that seemed to reveal that she understood more than she let on, Riyo Chuchi gave Aurelia's hand one last squeeze, stepping back to her group.

"We'll be in touch!"

Chapter 36: Relief and Regret

Chapter Text

"I can take care of the late arrival. You should go home and rest," Lennox said, touching Aurelia's hand. She was sprawled across the diagnostic bed, face down, propped up with pillows on her top and bottom in a way that allowed her somach to rest on the cushion below and released the constant tension from her back and legs. Things had changed quickly; within a week, the clinic had been officially shut down, and the staff who had decided to join Chuchi's cause were operating under a new protocol that allowed them to continue to utilize the facility without it appearing to be in use. The unorthodox procedures also involved being ready to receive patients at any hour of the day or night, and Aurelia and Lennox were currently waiting for the arrival of a fresh rescue.

"I can't sleep well anymore, and this is the most comfortable I've been in weeks. Good call with the pillows, although I don't know how I'll ever get up," Aurelia answered, face turned sideways toward his chair.

"That's what I'm here for," Lennox said, now resting his hand on hers. A slight alarm bell went off in her head, and she slowly moved both her hands underneath her. "Sorry," he offered quietly, dropping his own hand to his side.

"It's okay. I just..."

"It's alright, you don't have to explain. Hey -- Fireball told me an awful joke the other day. Want to hear it?"

Grateful for his intuitive changing of the subject, Aurelia smiled faintly, "With a setup like that, how could I refuse?"

"Okay, so... There's an Ugnaught, an Ithorian, and a Mon Calamari at a cantina..."

A buzz at the door interrupted the thought, and Lennox rose to his feet, offering Aurelia a hand as she struggled to push herself up and off the pillows. It was taking longer than usual, and as another buzz signaled impatience, Lennox touched her shoulder instead, "Here, roll over."

"I'll fall off the side!"

"No, just roll, and I'll help you up."

Another buzz made it clear that time was of the essence, so Aurelia pushed herself sideways, rolling into his arms and cringing at the lumbering awkwardness of her movement these days. She was also shocked that he was able to hold her up with little struggle, and as he slowly lowered her feet to the ground, one arm still firmly under her shoulders, she felt self-conscious at the unexpected intimacy of the situation. Fortunately, there was no time to dwell on it, as he moved for the back door as soon as she was securely on her feet, leaving her to return the pillows to the storage cabinets.

"Took you long enough!" came a clone voice from outside, and Aurelia noted the slight stiffness in his tone. It didn't sound familiar, and as she finished clearing the diagnostic bed and made her way into the hall, she was surprised at the sight of two new clones. One had marks from blaster shots on his shoulder, abdomen, and thigh, and the other was one of the most curious clones she'd ever seen. He had distinctly lighter skin, a slightly pallid color, and a relatively gaunt face. His ears were covered by a metal apparatus that wrapped around his bald head, and protruding on his skull above it were some small metal dots as well. He was holding his brother up as they made their way into an exam room, and as he lowered him onto the table, Aurelia was surprised to see that he wielded a scomp link in place of one of his hands.

Lennox worked quickly, removing armor plates and assessing the damage with a skilled eye. The injured clone remained silent, and his companion backed away to lean against the doorway, watching the proceedings as Aurelia fetched the standard instruments and supplies, laying them across a tray at Lennox's side.

"Sorry for the late hour," the clone said from the doorway. "We caught some heat on our way out and had to change our route about three times. Ended up getting shot a few more times than we'd hoped, and then the ship's hyperdrive was acting up. ItoldRex that we should have... Ah, never mind. We would have been here earlier if things had gone as planned. Sorry bout that."

"Things rarely go as planned," Aurelia answered kindly, trying not to be obvious as she studied him between passing things to Lennox. "You seem to have escaped unscathed though."

"This time," came the short reply. "But obviously I haven't been so lucky in the past," he said, a tinge of humor in his sarcastic words as he waved his scomp arm and rolled his eyes. "Anyway... the name's Echo."

"Aurelia," she said, "And this is Lennox."

"And who is our punctured friend here?" Lennox asked, nodding toward the prone figure on the exam table and earning himself a furrowed brow from the unamused Echo. Okay, so comedy wasn't the approach here.

"His name's Nemec, and that's about all I know... Except that he's a great shot, and if you can believe it, he can dodge blaster bolts faster than most. That should give you an idea of the kind of fire we were up against."

"Well, the good news is that no major tendons or arteries were hit, so he should be back to dodging in no time," Lennox said, finishing the last patch. "I look forward to seeing you in action, Nemec."

"Me too, Doc," came the feeble reply from the table.

* * *

Two days later found Nemec in considerably better spirits as the bacta patches had worked their magic. A final check on his range of movement gave Lennox enough confidence to release him back into the field, so he and Aurelia accompanied the trooper to the hangar to meet Rex. It was a confidential location, shared only with them under strict orders to keep it private from the rest of the medical team. As the door whooshed open, a few scattered clones looked up to check who was arriving.

Captain Rex was on the far side, having a discussion with Echo. As the trio headed toward them, a little whistle caught Aurelia's attention. Turning her head as she walked, she caught sight of Gregor, looking wildly different in his unique commando armor. He caught her eye with his classic grin and arched eyebrow, giving a little wave as they made their way to Rex. She smiled, offering a polite nod in return, and Gregor made an exaggerated motion with his hands, outlining a large imaginary belly on himself, then pointing at Aurelia and giving a big thumbs-up. She stifled a laugh. Only he could get away with something like that.

"Thanks, you two," Rex said after a quick debrief of Nemec's status. "We've got a bit of a breather here, so if you want to get some rest, now is a good time. Aurelia, you take care of yourself. Lennox, could I have a word before you go?"

Disproportionately curious yet clearly dismissed, Aurelia waddled back the way she'd come, giving one last wave to Gregor, who blew her a kiss. The clinic was all closed down, looking dark and abandoned as it should, and she slipped in the back door, taking the lift up to the apartments above. Rest would be wonderful, but her hunger was more pressing, so she quickly found herself rummaging through the refrigerator, taking her selections to the couch where she reclined in exhaustion. Propping her feet on a footstool, lap piled high with snacks, she rested her head on the back of the couch for a moment, closing her eyes.

"I like your style," came Lennox's playful observation a few minutes later, as he gently lowered himself onto the couch beside her, pulling a sandwich from a bag.

"I'm eating for two, you know."

"As you should."

"What did Rex want?" Aurelia asked, unable to hide her curiosity. They had been sharing more with each other over the last few months, and there was no need for subtlety anymore.

"He was following up on some information I've been asking him to keep an eye on," Lennox answered, setting his sandwich down to the side and turning to face Aurelia fully. "It's actually for you..."

Her heart skipped a beat as her mind immediately went to Howzer. Had they found him? Was he dead? She was shocked at how quickly her thoughts went from hope to dread, spinning with possibilities, and she didn't even yet know if that's what they were talking about. Lennox shifted a little closer to her on the couch. Pushing her pile of food onto a nearby table, she sat up a bit as well,sensing the seriousness in his demeanor.

"How have the nightmares been?" he asked, and her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Less, or less explicit, I guess. Still some general themes of running away, being scared, though they're dimmer now. Why?"

"I've been keeping tabs on Gow--... on your old boss..." Lennox began, carefully dodging the use of his name. "It's a tumultuous galaxy out there, you know. Turns out that a rebel cell attacked a cargo transport from the doonium refinery on Ryloth, and they blew the entire ship up. He was on that ship, and he was confirmed dead along with its crew. They found the body and everything."

A stunned silence followed as Aurelia stared at him, reeling from the revelation. Her eyes dropped to the floor, roving across it purposelessly, and she lifted a hand to her mouth, gently clasping it reflexively. A hand on her shoulder brought her attention back to Lennox, and she returned her gaze to his kind face, which was focused on her own with earnest concern.

"I thought you'd like to know... So you could feel safe..." he offered, tilting his head and studying her face intently. "You deserve to be safe," he said, more softly now. He moved his hand from her shoulder to her face, hesitantly as though he feared her response, but she remained still, closing her eyes as he gently traced the backs of his fingers from her cheekbone to her jaw. He finished his caress with a featherlight pinch of her chin before dropping his hand to his lap, clearing his throat self-consciously as his heart pounded inside his chest.

The realization was sinking in, and Aurelia felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Opening her eyes, she turned toward him with a deep breath, brimming with inexpressible emotion. "Thank you," she whispered, shaking her head slightly. "I have no words..."

"It's okay," he reassured, offering a small smile. "I hope you can sleep well now."

"Lennox... I'm still in love with Howzer," Aurelia said abruptly, frowning at the ground before looking at him again just in time to catch his look of surprise mingled with hurt. "I'm sorry. I keep feeling like... like this is turning into more than just friendship. I don't want to lead you on."

He swallowed, looking down and pursing his lips before lifting his head to gaze at the wall. His hands folded together tightly, one thumb absently rubbing the other, and the silence was deafening.

"I'm sorry," Aurelia said again, shifting uncomfortably in her seat, trying to sit as straight as she could with a basketball-sized abdomen. "I... You're wonderful... You're so kind... I just... I'm not... here. Fully."

"Do you think you could be?" he asked, looking back at her with a sudden vulnerability. His boyish face was both innocent and burdened, and the sheer defenselessness in his eyes made Aurelia want to cup his face in reassurance, but she knew it would hurt more than help. "I know you're not in a place to make a decision, with all that's on your plate right now... But would you just... maybe consider... what a different future could look like? One with more freedom... One where you could grow old at the same time... One with less pain..." he stopped, biting his lip to stop the flow of everything he'd wanted to say for a while now.

"I can't," she choked after a moment of silence, unable to meet his gaze anymore. Her thoughts had turned into mud, and she tried to wade through them with any sense of coherence but it was useless.

"Okay," Lennox said quietly.

"I understand if you need some space, or distance, or whatever..." Aurelia attempted, but he shook his head with a wistful smile.

"I'll be here for you when you need me."

Chapter 37: Not As Planned

Chapter Text

[Trigger Warning: graphic birth trauma and infant loss... sorry for spoilers but I want to be sensitive around such a painful topic. Feel free to skip this chapter to avoid the details; the next chapter will have a brief recap at the start so you won't miss anything.]

Aurelia woke with a start, bewildered as she regained consciousness from a deep sleep, which was exceedingly rare these days. She was soaking wet from the waist down, and as she rolled to her feet, feeling the cold air against her wet skin, she suspected what had happened. It was a little over a week early, though... Anticipation and fear danced with each other in her chest as she pulled on some dry, loose clothes and fetched a small bag from underneath her bunk.

She slipped out into the hallway and cringed as she knocked on the door, hoping the sound wouldn't reach the few other occupants of the floor. Hearing nothing on the other side, she knocked again, taking a deep breath as she felt her abdomen harden suddenly. It was gentle yet undeniable, and she felt a bit of trepidation at the realization that she couldn't relax it even if she tried. It passed after a moment, and she gave one last tap on the door, unsure how long she should keep at it. To her relief, however, it whooshed open, revealing Lennox squinting at her with his curly hair in a rumpled mess. He wore only sleep shorts and socks, and in any other scenario this would have been cause for more attention, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, stepping forward as he recognized her.

"My water broke," she said, "It's ten days early. What does that mean?"

"Probably that someone is ready to come out... Although if you don't have contractions, it could still be days or weeks."

"I think I just had a little one..."

"Okay, here... Come in and lay down, see if they subside."

"I can go back to my room," Aurelia offered.

"It's fine. I'll sleep on the floor," Lennox consoled, and she couldn't deny that it sounded far better to not be alone. Especially if the option involved someone with medical knowledge. She nodded, stepping inside, and as the door slid closed behind her, she looked around at an identical compartment to her own. The bed was a small platform with a cushion, sized for one person, and there was a small desk that doubled as a table, a single chair, a dresser, and a closet. Lennox pulled the rumpled comforter aside, standing next to the bed with it in his arms as she gently lowered herself onto the thin mattress, shushing her protests as he gingerly tucked the fluffy blanket around her shoulders. She still wasn't feeling anything else and was beginning to feel sheepish that she'd woken him up at what may be a false alarm.

He pulled a thin blanket from the closet and tossed the chair cushion onto the floor next to the bed, then disappeared below her as he laid flat on his back with the sorry excuse for a blanket draped over himself. "Let me know what's going on up there," he called quietly.

"Okay. I can just come back later if--"

"Sssshhhh. Try to get some sleep."

But sleep was not to be had, by either of them. Aurelia forced her eyes closed, trying to slip back into slumber but finding it impossible due to her intense focus on every bodily sensation. Unbeknownst to her, Lennox stared at the ceiling from the floor below, calm and steady as he was in any medical situation, but unable to quiet the racing thoughts in his mind.

A few more minutes passed, though it felt like an eternity, and Aurelia noticed the clenching feeling again. It was as though her entire midsection was turning into a rock, and she pushed the covers back to look down, catching sight of its contorted tightness in the dim light. The oval shape within was more distinct as it remained stiff for a moment, then it slowly released, and she let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"Another one?" came the husky voice from the ground, and Lennox sat up next to the bed.

"Yeah," she murmured, looking around his apartment for a chrono.

"Okay. We can either rest here until they're closer together or head down to the clinic if you'd rather."

"How long does this usually take?" she asked, a bit of insecurity in her voice.

"No clue," Lennox responded, and it sounded like he was smiling. "I haven't been a midwife for many clones, you know."

Aurelia laughed at the mental image, "Fair enough."

"I'm only going off of what I've read over the last few months. So your guess is as good as mine. It could be a few hours... or a few days..."

"Days?!" she gasped, gawking at him in shock. "Like this? All day? For days?"

"Sometimes?" he shrugged. "It's okay. Don't get ahead of yourself. Maybe it will be quick."

* * *

It was not quick. A sleepless night and increasingly intense early hours of the morning led them to the clinic, which somehow looked dingier than usual and felt forlorn in its emptiness. Or perhaps it just seemed that way as Aurelia was enduring a new, scary, and totally unpredictable experience. The rhythmic beeps and hum of the machines was comforting, tracking her vitals as Lennox stood beside her.

Hours passed, bringing stronger contractions that were nearly unbearable to endure. There was a claustrophobic feeling to it all, as there was only a small gap of relief from when one ended until the next one began. There was no controlling it nor escaping it, and Aurelia felt a small panic begin to grow in her chest. Her brow was beaded with sweat, and she felt exhausted from the relentless pattern of her body wringing itself out again and again. Lennox's soothing voice, reminding her to breathe, encouraging her, affirming her strength and capability, began to grow tiresome in her ears, and she flung her head back against the pillow with a defeated whimper, closing her eyes in misery as another contraction ended.

"I can't do this," she moaned, "Isn't there anything you can do?"

"We don't have the equipment," he said compassionately, brushing her hair off her hot forehead and placing a cool, damp towel across it. "And I don't think you want to move to the Imperial complex right now... You've got this."

"I just need..." she stopped, clenching her jaw as another contraction grabbed her from within. Her eyebrows drew together and her eyes closed, squinting with the effort.

"Breathe, Aurelia. You're fighting it."

"Shut up!" came the gasped retort, "I can't!" Her knuckled were white as she grasped the sheets on either side of her, bringing her chin to her chest. She was unable to restrain a pained cry, and Lennox squirmed with discomfort. He felt powerless in the face of her struggle and wished he could take it all away. He reached for her hand, and she grabbed his tightly, releasing finally as the wave subsided.

"Sorry," she said, gasping for air. "I didn't mean that."

"I know," he soothed. "But I think it might help to try to surrender to the contractions instead of trying to resist them."

Another hour passed, and the waves of pain came closer and closer together. She felt an increasing pressure between her legs that contributed to her rising sense of panic, and she pulled Lennox closer in an instinctively primal grasp for relief. He leaned his forehead against the side of her head, nose touching her ear. "I'm here. You're doing it. You're almost there. I'm here with you," he whispered fervently. She yelped in sudden pain, curling forward around herself, and he leaned back to look down at the progress.

"Ohhh," he said in awe, returning quickly to her head. "You're so close. Breathe. Let your body do the work. You're so close." She turned her face toward him, nestling in close as the contraction tightened so hard she thought she would break. "I'm going to see if I can help things along down there..."

"No, please..." she breathed against his neck, "Stay. Stay here."

More pushes, more agony. It felt as though nothing was moving, and she was stuck in the most uncomfortable in-between she could have imagined. The pressure between her legs was unfathomable and the exhaustion was wearing her down. The seconds dragged into eternity, when a sudden urge broke through her waning consciousness.

"I have to push. I have to get it out, now!" she snapped, eyes blazing with a startling determination. He pulled a stack of towels from the cupboard at lightning speed, settling onto a rolling stool at the foot of the bed.

The next chunk of time was a blur in Aurelia's memory. Whether it was a few minutes or an hour, she didn't know. A culminating tidal wave of pressure and force brought sudden relief, and she gasped at the shocking sensation of her insides being pulled out. A slimy little weight was thrust against her chest, and she brought her hands around it protectively, fighting to maintain consciousness by focusing all her awareness on its surprisingly hot heaviness upon her. Lennox briskly rubbed the baby's back with a towel, frowning at the concerningly blue color of its skin.

"I have to take him for a minute," he insisted, pulling the infant from her arms to hold him up. He was unresponsive, and in the sudden rush to assist him out, Lennox hadn't noticed that the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Him?" Aurelia whispered, opening her eyes.

* * *

Lennox tried everything he could think of, feeling the desperation rising as he fought for any spark of life within the tiny newborn. Aurelia watched, horrified and delirious, passing the placenta as he worked on the baby. He exhausted every option tirelessly until he looked up at the clock and, realizing that twenty minutes had passed, his heart sank.He finally stopped moving, bending over the still form on his lap, one hand covering his eyes in anguish.

Aurelia closed her eyes, lowering her head back on the pillow, barely able to comprehend what was going on. She heard rustling, and when she looked up, Lennox was standing beside her with a bundle wrapped in clean towels in his arms. As he slowly lowered himself into the chair next to her, their gazes met, and a million words passed unspoken. Tears flowed down his cheeks now, and with his mouth set in a grim line, he gave a tiny shake of his head as he handed the bundle to her. A tiny shock of dark hair poked out the top.

Chapter 38: Entanglement

Chapter Text

[Summary of last chapter, for those who skipped: Aurelia's water broke 10 days early, and after a difficult night and day of labor, the baby didn't make it. Lennox was with her throughout the whole thing, creating a deep bond through the shared tragedy.]

The next ten days blended together in a blur of attempting to cope. Lennox coordinated extra volunteers at the clinic, promising that she didn't need to come in until she was ready, but Aurelia felt even worse with nothing to do. Her tiny dorm room was a place of safety for her grief, but it felt smaller by the day, and a sudden idea came to her one morning. She was shocked she hadn't thought of it before, throughout all the months she'd been back on Coruscant.

Pulling on the nearest clothes she could see, she ventured out to the upper levels, watching the world continue on around her as if nothing had happened. She felt isolated, walking among a staggering variety of people who were laughing, talking, planning, and bustling about -- business as usual. It was a slow journey as she found her way, but as she saw the park stretching out before her, her sense of relief was accompanied by a bittersweet pain in her chest. Perhaps this had been a mistake. But something within encouraged her to press on, and as she gingerly strolled the paths, noticing the increased overgrowth and changed landscape from the way she remembered it, the rhythmic sound of her steps and the growing quiet of the space began to have a comforting effect.

She found their old spot, although the branches between the trees had grown so much that she couldn't get through. Finding another way around, she tiptoed past the water's edge to find the fallen log, staring at it in disbelief. How had it been only a few years since she'd leaned against it, heart thrilling at Howzer's sheepishness as he revealed the poetry he'd found? The shock of his sloppy first kiss resurfaced, bringing a wistful smile to her face despite the ten-pound weight in her chest. She lowered herself slowly to the ground, grateful for the pain and bleeding having lightened enough for her to begin to move around more normally. The world seemed to slow around her, creating a loving and peaceful space where she allowed the grief to pour out once again. As she emptied herself, eventually becoming quiet and still, she felt the sun on her face, closing her eyes to bask in its glow. One step at a time.

* * *

A few days later, she found herself in a proverbial pit of darkness, curled in the chair in the corner of her room. She'd gone to the clinic a few times, moving through the motions with a flat affect, grateful for the polite discretion of the few others that were there. Lennox had been checking in on her regularly, bringing food in both the mornings and evenings, most of which had been left uneaten, and smoothing the way for her at the clinic to keep her duties simple and optional, void of patient interaction.

There was a gentle rap at the door, and she shuffled over, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, clothing wrinkled and mismatched. It slid open, revealing Lennox's lanky form, and the kindness in his eyes stifled any self-consciousness that Aurelia may have felt. As he took in her overall appearance, he said nothing, stepping inside as she beckoned and setting a small box of snacks on the counter.

"Need a hug?" he asked simply, waiting patiently at an arm's length, and Aurelia leaned in, nodding minutely. He felt guilty, knowing that he enjoyed her touch more than he should have, and pulled away after a moment. It tore him up inside to know that her heart belonged to another, yet he couldn't bring himself to create distance between them. He knew it was foolish, that he was simply increasing his own disappointment, but he couldn't help it. And perhaps, if he was honest with himself, there was the possibility that someday she would be unattached... Or that she might see better options for herself... But he stifled the thought immediately, moving instead back toward the door.

"Rough day today?" he observed, leaning against the doorframe.

"Rough few days... I thought I was getting more ambitious but then I lost it," Aurelia answered, shrugging dismissively. "I'll probably come in today. I need to do stuff..."

"If you feel like it," came the gentle reply, "But also... if you need a distraction... There's a lecture tonight that a few of us were going to go to. I thought you might enjoy it, if you'd like to try something new. No pressure at all if you're not up to it."

"No, that sounds good. What is it about?"

"Subatomic particles."

Aurelia chuckled mirthlessly in surprise, "What does that have to do with medicine?"

"We don't know... yet. But it sounded intriguing. Besides, can't a guy have interests outside of his work?" Lennox pointed out, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head.

"Fair enough," she conceded, giving him a nod and a smile.

* * *

The lecture hall was a warmly lit space, full of chairs that curved around the stage. Aurelia shifted in her seat next to Lennox, feeling wildly out of place. She'd showered and put fresh clothes on, which had helped her to feel better immediately, and venturing to a new place had also given her mind something else to consider. As the speaker took his place, the crowd grew silent in polite expectation.

"This year, we recognized three scientists who made groundbreaking contributions in understanding one of the most mysterious of all natural phenomena: quantum entanglement. In the simplest terms, quantum entanglement means that aspects of one particle of an entangled pair depend on aspects of the other particle, no matter how far apart they are or what lies between them..."

Her mind immediately turned to Howzer, and her shoulders drooped with the weight of his absence. An entangled pair, indeed... Was she foolish to dwell on it like this? Would she be a horrible person for moving on? That thought wasn't something she could consider yet, and she felt a warmth growing in her chest as the lecturer continued.

"These particles could be, for example, electrons or photons, and an aspect could be the state it is in, such as whether it is "spinning" in one direction or another. The strange part of quantum entanglement is that when you measure something about one particle in an entangled pair, you immediately know something about the other particle, even if they are millions of light years apart. This odd connection between the two particles is instantaneous, seemingly breaking a fundamental law of the universe."

The continued metaphor brought a wistful smile to Aurelia's face, wondering how many light years separated them now. She had a strong sense, deep within, that their story wasn't over yet, and whether she was deluding herself into believing it or not, it was as though she could feel his presence, and she closed her eyes, leaning into the experience. His integrity, his warmth, his humor, his strength... His incredible complexity and his struggle with the world and his place in it...

The rest of the lecture passed with Aurelia lost in a blur, daydreaming and reminiscing. As it ended, the crowd got up and began to shuffle toward the exits. Lennox draped an arm across her shoulder, giving it a small squeeze and smiling at her fondly.

"What did you think?"

"Lots of big words," Aurelia said, leaning into him for a moment before politely pulling away. "But that sounds wild. I'm curious how they'll utilize it in more fields as they understand it more."

"It's definitely intriguing," Lennox agreed, as they began to walk toward the train. "Listen..." he said, a more serious tone to his voice, "Chuchi is in contact with people in other systems, and they're trying to create more of a network so it's not totally centralized here. She's asked me to man a mobile medical unit for field work, to avoid having to come to Coruscant as much. I wondered... Well, I hoped you might like to come too."

"Oh, wow..." came the ponderous response. "When are you leaving?"

"I don't know, probably a few weeks? We're finalizing the details. I just didn't know if a change of scenery would be helpful for you..."

Aurelia had no words, mulling it over in her head. But there was a sense of warning deep within, and she realized that the distance might be a good thing for them, even though she would ache at the loss of her closest friend. She turned the possibilities over, considering the options, as they walked in sync back to the medical clinic.

"I'll think about it; is that okay?" she finally answered, feeling that she already knew the answer but not wanting to jump the gun.

"Of course."

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Works Cited -- the speech about quantum entanglement was copied from Andreas Muller's article at The Conversation, found here:

https://theconversation.com/what-is-quantum-entanglement-a-physicist-explains-the-science-of-einsteins-spooky-action-at-a-distance-191927#:~:text=In%20the%20simplest%20terms%2C%20quantum,or%20what%20lies%20between%20them.

Chapter 39: Reunion

Chapter Text

Dreading each step, Aurelia walked slowly from the medical clinic to the hangar. Lennox had informed her during their lunch break that she was needed for a brief meeting, and she had a sneaking suspicion that her diminished usefulness over the last two weeks had finally warranted some action. After all, they couldn't support a freeloader with the already-stretched resources for the growing clone resistance. She'd have to start from scratch again. At least she would be let down kindly, knowing Chuchi.

"Hello, Aurelia!" came the bright voice from inside as she slipped inside the hangar. A couple of clones were working on an armor repair project atop some crates, and the main ship they used was noticeably missing. Riyo Chuchi approached with a warm smile, guards standing silently nearby. "Thank you so much for coming down. I hope you've been doing alright?"

"Yes, Senator... Thank you. I'm sorry that my contributions over the last two weeks haven't been--"

"Please, don't apologize. It's completely understandable," was her surprising response, emphasized by the earnestness on her face as Aurelia met her gaze. "I was wondering if you could return here later tonight? I'm sorry I didn't just send a holo, but I wanted to see you. 2100 hours should be good, if you can? I know that's late, but I promise it'll be worth your time."

"I'll be there," Aurelia confirmed, wondering what the Senator had in store.

* * *

Aurelia had fallen asleep early that afternoon, and she woke with a start. The chrono read 21:17, and a panicked flurry of preparation had her out the door within minutes. The trip to the hangar was fairly quick, but as she pushed the door open, it seemed darker than usual. She spotted Lennox across the room, chatting with Gregor, who was enjoying a hot beverage while resting on a crate. The faint sound of Chuchi's voice could be heard, and Aurelia paused, peering out from behind a long row of crates. She was bidding Echo farewell with a tender hand on his shoulder, nodding after him as he headed back toward the ship. Another clone stood beside her, wearing a plain inmate suit, and as Aurelia's eyes reached him, her heart skipped a beat.

Could it be?

The hair was the same. The posture. The movement. She found herself unable to move, frozen to the ground in disbelief. Chuchi said a few words and the clone nodded to her, then turned to move further into the hangar as she returned to her guards. The light struck his face, illuminating the curves and edges.

Howzer.

She couldn't believe it was real. He wasalive. And here! In the time it took her to come to her senses, he was drawing near, passing Gregor and Lennox as he tossed a passing comment over his shoulder to the few others that were gathered there. Continuing on his way, he caught sight of her, and a myriad of emotions swirled all at once in his brown eyes, dark under the dim lights. He quickened his pace, purposeful and focused as he strode toward her, and she rushed to meet him, flinging her arms around his waist. He wrapped her in a tight embrace, resting his cheek against her head and stroking the back of her hair, holding her as though he couldn't get close enough.

"I can't believe you're here," Aurelia said softly, words muffled by his shoulder. He pulled back a few inches to cup her face instead, searching her eyes as though they held all the answers to life. The intensity in his gaze sent an electric shock through her body, and she relished his touch, leaning forward to press her forehead against his.

"I was thinking the same," Howzer murmured, brushing his nose against hers.

"It's like waking up from a dream," she whispered, drowning herself in the sense of him. He smelled slightly different, certainly affected by a day of travel and whatever else he had been through, but the sound of his voice, the feel of his strong back against her hands, and the sight of his eyes, overwhelmed with sentiment, washed over her with an inexpressible peace and joy.

Lennox had followed Howzer with his gaze, aware of the captain's name when he'd received the ship log and any medical needs that the crew would have. Watching him take Aurelia into his arms sent an ache through his chest, and he dropped his eyes to the cup in his hand.

"Ahh, bad luck there, mate," came the squeaky voice of the clone commando to his right, watching the whole exchange as well. "Although -- no offense -- can't say she's got bad taste in men!" Gregor giggled, apparently oblivious to the angst churning within the medic beside him.

"Hmm," Lennox offered feebly, a mirthless chuckle from a straight face. He felt happy for her, at least he told himself he did. It was all she'd wanted, and wasn't that true selflessness? Wanting the best for others? He nodded silently to himself. Butwasit what was best? All things considered? A deep sigh broke his silence, and he raised his eyes back to the two of them, still holding each other in the shadows of the crates. Aurelia was resting her head against his chest, her hand wrapped in his, held gently against his heart, and his lips were pressed to the top of her hair, eyes closed, savoring the moment as long as they could.

"Hey now... Don't tear yourself up, eh?" Gregor's unsolicited advice broke through Lennox's thoughts. His lilting voice brought a levity to his words, though they were insufficient to reach the medic's dejection.

"Yeah, you're right, Gregor," Lennox said halfheartedly, clearly somewhere else in his mind.

* * *

Aurelia couldn't let go of Howzer's hand as they made their way back to the clinic. Her mind was flooded with a million questions, a million things to tell him, and yet it was also silent, somehow fully present, soaking up every single second with a fervent desperation as though he could be ripped away from her again at a moment's notice. As the door to her little room slid open, Howzer lifted his eyebrows at the miniscule accommodations.

"I guess we'll have to maximize the space, eh?" he observed, and the provocative hint in his smooth voice sent a wave of tingles over Aurelia that she hadn't felt in months. "Listen," he said, turning to face her fully, and she basked in the fondness of his gaze, "We have a lot to catch up on. But I smell like a womp rat, and I'm sure you're tired..."

"I should be," Aurelia agreed, running a hand up the outside of his arm and bringing it to rest on his shoulder, "But I'm skeptical that I'll get anywhere near sleep anytime soon."

Howzer smiled, somewhat wistful at the overwhelming emotions still swirling about. "Well, give me a minute to get cleaned up, and then I'm yours." His words carried a weight heavier than either of them expected, and tears sprang unbidden to Aurelia's eyes. She lifted a hand to his face, caressing those scars that she'd come to know like the back of her hand. She traced a thumb across his cheekbone and felt as though she might explode. How was she ever supposed to let him go?

She didn't need to worry about that for now, though, and by the time she had changed into lounge clothes that fit gently on her soft, changed form and brushed her hair and teeth, Howzer was finished with his shower, standing in the doorway to the refresher with a towel around his waist. The sight made her heart skip a beat, and her mouth fell open slightly, feeling a heat flush throughout her entire body. He looked the same, except a bit more gaunt, and she wondered with a pang what he had been through over the last number of months.

"In my eagerness to leave, I seem to have forgotten the supply kit that Echo told me to grab on the way out... Got anything to wear that I'd look good in?"

Aurelia laughed, unable to believe his playful affection as though no time had passed. She shook her head, throwing her hands in the air in mock despair. "You're going to have to make do with my robe," she said, pointing to the hook outside the refresher door. Howzer pulled it on over his towel, smirking at the way it clung to his arms and shoulders, stretching tightly across his back. He struck a pose for a moment, earning another genuine giggle from Aurelia, who felt lighter than she had in a long time, and she opened her arms, inviting him to join her on the single bed pushed against the wall in the corner.

They entwined around each other, fitting together like puzzle pieces once again, acknowledging their slightly different shapes that had been sculpted by their very different paths. Aurelia's ear was pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, strong and steady, and she traced fingers lightly from his collarbone to his shoulder, down his arm, and up his stomach. He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes at the touch he had felt so starved for, and pulled her closer.

"You're gonna be in trouble if you keep that up," he murmured suggestively, eliciting another wave of electricity from her head to her toe. The recent pain of life had been held at bay by the utter shock of his arrival, but it came washing back over her, settling heavily into her stomach. She had to tell him.

"Howzer," she began, pulling her head back to face him. They gazed into each other's eyes, heads inches apart on a single pillow, and she took a deep breath before continuing. "I can't do that... for a little while... until I heal."

"Heal?" he said, furrowing his brow and propping himself up on an elbow, looking at her intently. "What do you mean?" His thoughts raced with a million possibilities, none of which were good, and he felt an immediate clamminess over the fierce protectiveness that blazed within. "Wait... you wanted to share something with me... I never got to hear..." he struggled to put pieces together, eyes rapidly flitting back and forth between hers with consternation.

"I was pregnant," Aurelia said, almost inaudible as her voice grew thick with emotion, "The day you left."

"No..." he breathed, eyes widening as he reached for her hand. "Oh... Reli..." he rumbled, getting a little hoarse himself, "I'm so sorry. What...?"

"He didn't make it," she interrupted, voice quavering as tears sparkled down her cheeks. She opened her mouth to explain more, but closed it again, squeezing her eyes shut with a minute shake of the head as the grief tore through her anew. Howzer was lost for words, jaw dropped slightly as he stared at her in speechless disbelief. He closed his mouth slowly, gripping her hand and pulling her against him again, shaking with silent sobs as she cried into his chest. After a moment, in a quiet pause, one word resurfaced again in his mind, stabbing him through the core as he uttered it aloud.

"...he?"

They held each other for hours, alternating between silent mourning, loving caresses, and whispered thoughts that jumped from topic to topic. Aurelia finally drifted off to sleep as the sun began to peek around the corners of the window shades, but Howzer remained awake, staring at the ceiling as he stroked her hair, over and over, agonizing over what she had been through... without him. The exhaustion was catching up to him as well, though he fought it, perhaps trying to punish himself for not being there for her. But he'd had his own nightmares and struggles during their time apart. He'd done the right thing, standing up against injustice and refusing to leave his brothers behind, though it had come at unspeakable cost. Only three of them had made it out alive, and Aurelia's news added further weight to his shoulders.

He breathed deeply, turning his head to watch her, unconscious and vulnerable next to him. He traced a finger down the side of her face, and she flinched reactively before comfort licking a few times and going still again. His heart felt as though it would burst through his chest, overcome with affection. Nothing was promised, and the immense fragility of life as well as the unpredictability of the tumultuous galaxy didn't offer much hope. But he pushed the fear aside, vowing that he would continue to do everything in his power protect those he loved and uphold any goodness still to be found.

Whatever the cost.

Chapter 40: Future Gazing While in Waiting

Chapter Text

That's it, it's just an author's note. Sorry. ;)

Chapter 41: Catching Up

Chapter Text

Aurelia woke up with a start, clammy with sweat and breathing hard. Another nightmare, this time something about being in a cage and Gowden cackling outside of it. She realized that it had been partially fueled by the cramped situation she found herself in: wedged against the wall with a sprawled Howzer beside her, taking up all the space on the single bed they shared. As her eyes landed on his chest, slightly less full than she remembered it because of whatever hell he'd been through, she felt a warmth immediately flow through her, and all the panic and terror of the dream melted away in an instant. She still couldn't believe it was real... Here he was, beside her, snoring lightly with his mouth open, face slightly puffy from sleep, tousled hair in a mess across his forehead. The affection in her chest felt impossible to contain, and she carefully rolled from one side to the other with the minimal space she had, facing him while propped up on an elbow. She didn't want to wake him because he was so irresistibly adorable, but she also didn't know if she could keep her hands off of him for another second.

Selfish yearning won out, and she leaned over him, brushing his hair away from his forehead. She had to stifle a giggle at the quiet snort he made as he roused, closing his mouth and turning his head slightly toward her, still asleep. Featherlight fingers traced from his sharp eyebrows down the side of his face, relishing in the softness of his skin after some hours of sleep. She caressed his jawline, brushing a thumb against his lower lip, and couldn't hold back any longer. She brought her lips to his forehead, placing a tender kiss on it that sought to convey the immense gratitude and soul peace that she felt at his mere presence. A gentle trail of kisses made their way from his temple to his cheek, then to his lips, where the tingles in her middle radiated out to her entire body. Pulling away with a quietsmack, she ran a hand over his hair again, basking in the sight and sound and smell and feel of him.

Golden brown eyes slowly opened, finding her face after a quick scan of the surroundings, and Howzer's lips curved into a blissful smile. He reached for her, pulling her flat against his chest with a deep rumble of affection, and kissed the top of her head as his arm lay warm across her back. They rested for a moment, Howzer loath to wake up, Aurelia listening to the breath in his lungs as his chest rose and fell under her head.

"You were snoring," she said quietly, a tinge of playfulness in her voice.

"I never snore," he answered, with the same amount of snark that was softened by the sound of a smile in his voice. "You must have been dreaming."

"Ugh. I had an awful dream last night," Aurelia admitted, stomach souring at the remembrance of it. "I've had nightmares about Moss Gowden for months, off and on. They're getting better, but still happen periodically."

Howzer ran a hand over her hair, down her neck and spine, and let it come to rest at the small of her back. His other hand came up to hold hers, against his chest, as he spoke. "I'm so sorry. I wish I had come up earlier that night. Could have prevented the whole thing."

"Hindsight is always 20-20," she answered, giving his hand a squeeze. "Plus, I'm eternally grateful that you came when you did. I hope they'll go away for good soon though, now that we know he's dead."

"You've known that for a long time, no?"

"No!" she said, suddenly realizing she'd somehow left out that horrific detail. They'd been all over the place since their reunion and hadn't even discussed why she was on Coruscant instead of Ryloth. "I forgot to share... He came back. He found me on Ryloth, outside my apartment, and threatened me if I didn't come in to work. That's how I got here -- a friend from the medical clinic snuck me out in the middle of the night."

Howzer released her, gently rolling her onto her back, and sat up fully, turning to look at her in dismay, "Wait... So he's still there on Ryloth?" The darkness in his eyes sent a chill down her spine, as well as a flash of heat to her nether regions that surprised her.

"No, he's really dead now. Lennox was keeping tabs on him, checking the holonet for any sight of his name, and they found his body in a transport that was shot down by insurgents. So he told me as soon as he found out."

An unreadable expression crossed Howzer's face, perhaps a pang of pain judging by the quick flash of lowered eyebrows. "Yeah... You've mentioned this Lennox quite a bit..." he said, eyes dropping to his hands as they fidgeted in his lap. "Sounds like he took good care of you while you were here." His smooth voice had a slight edge to it -- was it jealousy? Regret? Some mix of both?

"He did. And the whole clinic staff... they were so kind and helpful... But yeah," Aurelia admitted, never wanting to withhold anything between the two of them, "We grew pretty close. I felt bad about it, but no one else was really there like he was... I'm sorry," she trailed off, wondering why she was apologizing. She hadn't done anything wrong, had been on her guard against crossing any lines or leading Lennox on. It had been clear from the start that she was not available for any kind of romantic involvement, although she did have to admit that the way he had been with her in some of the most traumatic moments of her life did create a unique and lasting bond.

"I should have been there," Howzer said, eyebrows furrowing now. "I should have been holding you, caring for you, protecting you..." His heart ached with the months that had been stolen from him, the pivotal moments that she had shared with another. "This damnEmpire..."

"Hey," Aurelia said softly, sitting up next to him and drawing her knees up to allow her to lean in close to his face, "You did the right thing, Howzer. Who could have known what was going to happen... Everything is changing these days."

He tilted his head slightly, bringing his forehead against hers, closing his eyes in an attempt to release the angst that was churning inside. "I know. I just wish I could get it all back."

"Maybe we can just make up for lost time," she said, another little spark in her voice that invited him to lighten up if he could. He opened his eyes, pulling his head back, a glint in his eye as he smirked at her fondly.

"You can't tease me like that."

"Who said I'm teasing?"

Two hands flew out to cup his face as she leaned forward, kissing him with more intensity this time. Every ache of loneliness, every gut-wrenching feeling of pain, every hour of loneliness seemed to fade away as if it were all a bad dream, and Aurelia didn't think she would ever be able to get enough of him. She pulled away briefly, eyes brimming with emotion, and touched her nose to his.

"Your breath is awful," he murmured.

"You're one to talk!" she laughed, flopping down onto her back and pulling him down with her, He held himself up with one elbow near the side of her head, leaving the other hand free to trace up the outside of her arm, across her shoulder, and as it came to rest at the base of her skull, gently grasping the back of her neck, he brought his mouth to hers again. The growing passion was threatening to burst in her chest as Howzer's lips grazed the corner of hers, slowly brushing their way across her jaw and down her neck, so she trailed a few fingers down his chest, across the middle of his stomach... She chuckled quietly as she realized he'd slept in the towel, although it was barely wrapped around him still, and she drew her fingertips across the line it made across the low part of his waist. He shivered, drawing a sharp breath in, and the cool air on her neck brought Aurelia's shoulder up at the ticking sensation. She sighed suddenly, leaning back as though she were all finished and perking up for the day.

"We should probably get up and get some breakfast..." she said, fully intending to convey the ridiculousness of her immediate change in focus. Howzer snorted, leaning right back over her, eyes large and intense.

"I don't think so," his husky voice purred.

Chapter 42: Coming Clean

Chapter Text

"Can'tyoujust check me out?" Howzer asked with an arched eyebrow. He was drying off after a shower, moving around Aurelia in the tiny bunk room she called her own as they both got ready for the day. She finished pulling on her work uniform before turning back to him with a smile.

"I would be happy to... Captain..." she purred, brushing a thumb across the top of his chest and bringing her hand to rest on his bicep, "I mean, someone has to make sure you're fit for duty."

"Great! So that's it, then..." he said, nodding cheerfully and turning to find a shirt out of the small bag in the corner -- his only belongings. The pitifully small towel was wrapped around his waist, splitting at the top of his thigh, and Aurelia seriously considered calling in to work right then and there. When he stood back up, popping his head through the shirt and grinning at her with his hair in an adorably tousled mess, she suddenly felt her eyes brimming with tears. He immediately furrowed his brows, taking a step closer and placing a hand on each of her shoulders, tilting his head in unspoken inquisition.

"I just..." she looked toward the ceiling, willing the emotions to be stuffed back down where [she thought] they belonged, but one defiant tear made its way down her cheek, tickling down to her jawline where it was lovingly caressed off by Howzer. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe everything that's happened. I know we spent like a whole day crying about it, but..." she took a deep, shuddering breath, "It just feels like a long way from watching sunsets on Ryloth."

His arms wrapped fully around her now, nestling his cheek on top of her head. "It is," he admitted, one hand calmly roving up and down her spine. "But you know what?" He kissed her hair as she made a muffled little sound in response. "We keep finding each other. And things will keep changing. But we'll keep finding each other." He could feel her shoulders release some of their tension as she pulled him close, arms around his waist, face buried in his neck. "And besides..." he continued brightly, "I'm still the same old idiot I've always been."

Aurelia laughed now, pulling back to look at him with glistening eyes. She cupped his scarred cheek in a hand, taking in his slightly shadowed features, his diminutive build without his usual armor, and his soulful eyes that held so much within them. "At least you'remyidiot," she grinned, leaning in to kiss his cheek lightly, "And we'll check your cognitive functions today too."

* * *

"I can finish these three scans myself, if you want to get out of here," Lennox offered, scanning the remaining charts for the day. Aurelia stifled her automatic tendency to decline and actually considered it for a moment; she had been wondering if it would be awkward to have the three of them in close quarters. But she was also curious, and she knew Howzer was the type who would try to hide injuries or issues out of his own silly pride or care for her or whatever it was, so that made the decision for her.

"It's okay," she answered, powering up the machine, "I appreciate it though."

"Hm," Lennox nodded, preparing his own work area. "How are you? Overall?" He paused, giving her a sideways glance -- enough to connect but still slightly guarded.

"Good," Aurelia answered automatically, smiling at the tilt of his head calling out her rote repetition when asked that question. "I mean... I'm so grateful for this job, I think I'm fully healed... physically, at least..."

"We'll have to do an exam to determine that," he said protectively. "So don't go crazy just yet." A frown tugged at the corner of his lips but he turned away before she could see it. "I'm glad you have him back." His voice was quiet now, arranging the tools on his tray mindlessly.

Aurelia was eternally grateful for the next patient arriving and sparing her the effort of a considerate answer. Howzer had been rescued with two other clones, and after giving them a few days to settle in after their initial examinations, they were to report back for a full work-up if they wanted to be involved in any future missions with Rex, Echo, and the others. Naturally, all three of them had immediately indicated their interest, and so here they were, appointments lined up for them to be checked off.

Aurelia had asked the assistant to schedule Howzer last, hoping to surprise him with a date of sorts afterward. The options in the underworld were fairly limited, but she'd been there long enough to know how to navigate safely with clone company. So after the first two clones had been thoroughly scanned and interviewed, it was his turn. As he walked into the exam room, she smiled, realizing that her heart still thrilled at the sight of him in his blacks. He met her gaze with unfathomable warmth that was quickly masked as he turned to Lennox, offering him a polite nod that was silently returned.

"So uhh... There seems to be a conflict of interests here... between the three of us..." Howzer began, a humorous gleam in his eye. But Lennox stiffened suddenly, facing the two others with an imposing presence from his full height. Aurelia looked up from the machine's panels, eyes darting between the two. She'd caught Howzer's tone, but was he seriously taking a jab at such a sensitive situation right now? His head was turned away from her, and she thought about throwing something to prevent him continuing but didn't have the chance. "Considering thepersonalrelationship I have with Miss Medic over there, we may run the risk of violating doctor-patient confidentiality if she's in here during my exam. So... better get out, lady."

Aurelia let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, leaning her forehead against the panel in front of her with a small grin. Lennox's body language shifted as well, although not very much. He let out an incredibly forced chuckle and gestured for Howzer to get onto the exam table. "I'm afraid you're stuck with her. We need you to be completely motionless for the scan, so if you could remain as still as possible..." Lennox drifted off, nodding to Aurelia to queue it up.

"That means no talking," she muttered in Howzer's ear, eternally charmed by the grin he gave her as he slid into the large tube. The machine whirred to life, and Aurelia leaned against it awkwardly, watching Lennox rearrange his tools yet again with his back to her. She felt a need to say something but didn't know what. The whole situation was wildly confusing, and nearly all of the thoughts were unspoken, so she felt quite off-balance. Lennox finally turned around, eyes glancing to the diagnostic screen before resting on Aurelia.

"So... I'm pretty sure this means you're not considering the mobile medical unit anymore..." he said quietly.

"Not for now," came her slow answer, eyes lowering to the ground. "But who knows where we'll all be in a few months."

"Mmm," he agreed, wistful gaze moving to the scanner tube now. "Well, you'll be great here. Hopefully we can get you some new trainees."

The thought of being in a position of authority made Aurelia's stomach churn, but she'd internalized one primary concept over the turbulent years: one step at a time. So she pushed the future away for now and settled into the present, returning her gaze to the diagnostic screen as it examined the one who meant the most to her in the whole galaxy. They watched in silence until it was finished, slowly pushing Howzer's exam platform back into the open, allowing him to sit up and rest on splayed hands behind him.

"Everything looks pretty good," Lennox murmured, eyes scanning the information. "You have some fairly serious internal scarring... tissue report shows significant burns..." His eyebrows furrowed as he put the information together, and he looked back to Howzer, whose expression had changed significantly as he stared at Lennox's medical badge instead of his face. "Were you..." he paused, gaze flickering to Aurelia, whose eyes were as large as plates. "Never mind. It's all healed now, and it shouldn't impede any organ function or overall body movement."

"Come on, Lennox," Aurelia said, although the quaver in her voice betrayed her image of strength and confidence, "You're not keeping things from me. Neither of you are." She looked sternly from him to Howzer, struck by the oddity of their equally contrite expressions, neither wanting to be the first to speak. "You were tortured," she said, voice cracking again as she watched the subtle muscle twitch of his jaw, and she swallowed hard to maintain her composure. "What did they do?"

His mouth curled in a distinct scowl as shadows of the past haunted Howzer's memories for a moment, darkening his rich brown eyes. He kept them low as he answered, with a voice that was monotone and empty of all his usual charisma, "Containment field. Electrostaff. Shock collar. Whatever they felt like."

The silence was deafening. It wasn't uncommon, but it was never pleasant to hear. Aurelia wanted to press, but it was clear that it wasn't something he wished to revisit anytime soon, so she settled to instead take his hand in hers, entwining their fingers tightly. Lennox shifted on his feet, busying himself with the rest of the diagnostic report.

"The only things I would recommend are fairly obvious..." Lennox continued, "Good nutrition to allow your body to continue to replenish itself, light to moderate exercise as you feel ready, and good rest, as much as you're able. Other than that, you're functioning well and are suitable for missions as Captain Rex determines."

"Thanks, Doc," Howzer answered, sliding to his feet. "Ma'am," he said, dipping his head toward Aurelia, whose smile felt empty as the details of his experience were still tumbling around her mind.

"Aurelia, would you mind finishing up in here for tomorrow?" Lennox asked. "I'll escort our patient to the front to finalize his chart, then we can be free for the evening."

"Alright, but--"

"I'll wait for you up front," Howzer interrupted, anticipating her words and reassuring her with a smile as he and Lennox disappeared down the hall. The front desk was empty when the two men arrived, and Howzer turned to the doctor with a questioning look. "Anything else you need before I go?" he inquired politely.

"No, it looks like you're good to go. Just..." Lennox hesitated, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as he considered his next words carefully. "I understand that you're born and bred for missions, but..." Howzer's brows lowered slightly; perhaps he didn't mean it as a slight, but it felt somewhat patronizing nonetheless, reducing his existence in such a way. "There will always be more to do, more to save, more heroics needed..."

The silence between them felt like an eternity, a bottomless chasm of insecurity and fumbling words. It didn't slip past Howzer's attention that Aurelia was notably out of earshot, and this doctor whom she had spent so much time with clearly had something to get off his chest. While he had grown exponentially in his ability to be diplomatic over the years, there was still something to be said for directness.

"I can see something is weighing on you, Doc. You can just come out and say it."

"Aurelia is an incredible woman," Lennox blurted out, eyes fixed firmly on the floor. "She has been through so much, and it's only been... what... a little over a year? The constant questions that had no answers, the loneliness, the agony..." he faltered, clearing his throat to push aside the brimming emotions of what he'd witnessed from her side in that clinic late at night. His words were a knife to Howzer's heart, and the clone found the floor equally captivating as his stomach churned.

"You have no idea how much I wish I could change the way things happened," Howzer answered quietly, voice flat and empty.

"Well you can now," Lennox said, growing more confident now as he raised his face to look at the clone. "If you're going to string her along," Howzer's eyes lifted with a small gleam of intensity now, but the doctor's voice continued to rise in volume. "You need to make some decisions about your priorities. You can't just disappear for another year. She deserves to be with someone she can rely on. Someone who can promise a future and keep that promise. It should have been you holding her when she lost her child.Yourchild."

His words echoed heavily, his mind a whirling tornado of thoughts and intentions, regrets and hopes. Howzer remained quiet, holding his gaze for a moment before looking away, although he didn't attempt to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. There was a wild sense of indignation raging in his chest, a desire to put this doctor in his place with sharp words and tight fists. But there was also a deep, gaping hole in his heart, an entire year of his life taken from him, so much happening that he wasn't even aware of, and a thick layer of sadness that coated everything with regret and humility.

"You're right."

Lennox tilted his head, surprised by the admission without any defensiveness or quarreling. He hadn't expected that; he'd been preparing himself to teach this clone a lesson about recklessness and responsibility. Perhaps there was more to it than he'd realized. He didn't know how to respond now, instead lowering his eyes to the empty desk beside them.

"However," Howzer continued, his posture somehow resolute and resigned at the same time. "I didn’t just run away or choose to pursue something else. I agonized over the choice for months. But I couldn’t desert my squad, my brothers, who have been through so much with me. Would you allow those you care about most to continue down a path of deception that would lead to their demise?”

Lennox remained silent, unsure how to respond to the passion and regret in the clone’s words.

“I would have given my life for them in a heartbeat. I would do the same for Aurelia. I had no idea… It all happened so fast, and if I had known then what I know now... Ah, it doesn't matter." he waved dismissively, voice thick with emotion.

“I understand it was—“ Lennox attempted.

“I was a prisoner. I was tortured for information I didn’t have. I did what I thought was right and I lost everything,” Howzer charged on, volume rising and voice breaking at the same time. “So few of us survived. I don’t know where the rest ended up. It’s… I don’t know. I don’t know why it was me who got rescued. I mean, I’m grateful, and having her again means the world, but it’s still agony…”

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he looked around the room, then he fixed his gaze on Lennox once again. "Anyway, I understand you… care… for her, but you don’t know the whole story. I’m not some coward who deserted her.”

Lennox stared at him, speechless. Both men were too engulfed by the exchange happening between them to notice Aurelia's silent approach from the hallway, her pause as she sensed the tension in the room and waited out of sight but within earshot.

"That being said… thank you for taking care of her. For being someone she could turn to..." Howzer faltered now, choking on his own sentiment. He shook his head as though he could reset his brain.

"But I assure you," he continued, gaze even and steady now, "I have a clear perspective for the future."